By now, most of you have probably heard that Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg married longtime lady love Priscilla Chan yesterday. As always, I hope you will join with me in wishing them a long, happy marriage.

But there’s one aspect of this wedding you might not have heard about yet: it was a surprise to the entire guest list.

Chan had graduated from medical school during the week, and she and Zuckerberg sent out invitations to a graduation party. But when guests arrived, well, Chan was wearing a white gown and veil and the next thing guests knew, they were witnessing the start of a new marriage.

While this approach certainly isn’t for everybody, I have to say I like the concept. It’s low key, so it’s easier to avoid jitters. Nobody is expecting a wedding, so they don’t worry about shelling out money they can’t afford on new clothes and gifts. You don’t have to corral your nearest girlfriends into the bridal salon to argue over which available dress they hate least as a group. Nobody can accuse you of boring them to death with wedding details. Nobody has a chance to object to the aspect of the wedding that means the most to you.

In short, all you need to do is organize a party in a place you like, invite the people you’re closest to, nab yourself an officiant, get a license, and give everyone there the surprise of their lives! It’s up to you whether to plan for months or do it on a couple days’ notice, whether to include traditional trappings or drop every wedding convention except the vows.

I took a long time to plan my wedding to Mr. Twistie. I enjoyed the entire process. I loved sharing my plans with others. But there’s definitely something to be said for keeping an exciting secret, too.

So how about you? Would you ever consider a surprise wedding?

You guys know I love DIY. I think it makes for a unique, highly personal celebration. On the other hand, it’s not for everyone. Some of us don’t have the time, or the inclination to do the work for ourselves. And let’s face it, there are some amongst us who simply do not have the crafting chops to get the job done right. For example:

(Image via CraftFail)
I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want to put up that poor mess of string at my wedding reception!

So what do you do if you love DIY but don’t have the time or the space or the talent? Why you go to people who have those things and pay them to do it for you. And that’s where Etsy comes into play.
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Let’s face it: not every woman looks her best in white… or cream… or ecru. And some women just don’t want to wear any shade of white while getting married.

But if you aren’t getting married in white, that opens up every possible color in the rainbow to you. What to pick then? Well, right now a lot of brides are looking to shades of silver, steel, platinum, and just plain grey.

Grey? For a wedding gown??? Yep. I say don’t knock it until you take a look at it.

Take, for instance, this strapless Aria gown in platinum floral print on a cream colored background shown here with a narrow spring green sash (sold separately, which means you can do without, choose another color, go wider, or choose something with beading instead, if you prefer).

It’s simple, festive, and definitely not the standard wedding gown.

But shades of grey can go dramatic, too.
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Oscar de la Renta has come out with his 2013 collection for flower girls, and I’m in love. This is a perfect example of why. It’s simple, and it’s appropriate for a wedding. Most of all, it’s appropriate for a little girl to wear.

Most of the dresses are white, though a couple are blue or feature blue touches. I’m guessing that at least a couple of them will come in other colors when they get to salons… and most of the dresses inspired by them will probably be available in most of the popular colors for the season.

While de la Renta may feature price tags that most brides (and mothers of flower girls) can’t afford, the inspiration is certain to trickle down to more affordable designers and to pattern makers.

I’ve always preferred flower girl dresses that acknowledge that flower girls are generally very young girls, that are shaped for little girls’ bodies, and that can be worn at other events like parties… and in this case, the occasional First Communion.

Thumbs up for age-appropriate clothes for little girls!

I’m usually a big fan of Monique Lhuillier. In general, I like the flow of her lines, her tasteful use of tulle and lace, and her respect for the shape of a woman’s body. Her designs tend to be feminine and romantic without looking fussy or puerile.

This one from her spring 2013 collection, though, well… I have to say I’m HATING this one. I’m not sure if she’s standing in the middle of an attack of interstellar Charmin or if the entire world just dumped their used tissues on her, but either way she’s being swallowed whole with no escape.

Now excuse me while I go throw this poor waif a lifeline.

Life is full of surprises. Wedding planning is, too.

Sometimes the surprise is discovering that what you thought was a perfectly simple concept makes no sense to anyone who is not you. Sometimes it’s that everyone else so blandly accepts an idea that strikes you as clearly and profoundly deranged. Sometimes it’s the fact that you don’t react to something the way you thought you would. It might even be how someone other than you reacts.

I think for me the single biggest surprise in the wedding planning/getting married process was how calm I was when the moment came. I was happy, I was excited, but I wasn’t nervous at all. I had no urge to laugh or cry without provocation. I’d always assumed that when the big moment came, I would need that hankie I’d so cunningly slipped up my sleeve… but it turned out I didn’t. Aplomb was my middle name, and that is something that happens about once every three blue moons.

What’s been your biggest surprise? Tell us all about it!