Never teh dress
By Never teh BrideBeing that I like to believe that we are becoming a more thrifty and ecologically minded people, I also like to believe that the large number of used and new wedding gowns for consignment are the result of generous souls rather than divorced or cold footed ones.
Craiglist, EBAY, Freecycle, and other sites of that ilk have become a goldmine for enterprising and frugal brides, young and old alike, to find everything from shoes to dresses to favors to funny shirts for the bridesmaids. And I applaud that.
The thing that sticks out in my mind, however, is the rather large numbers of wedding dresses being sold by owners who say the dress has never been worn. The typical reason involves the blushing future bride finding a dress she liked better. While a few of the dresses in question leave no question as to why she would want to change her dress selection, such as this one, which from the back looks like an overdecorated meringue tart:
Most of them look rather stunning, like this Casablanca Bridal number:
I just don’t understand it!
October 10th, 2005 at 11:40 am
My wedding gown hasn’t even arrived yet and I’m already planning to donate it to The Bridal Garden (http://www.bridalgarden.org/) after my wedding. I really hope it makes another too-petite girl happy.
October 10th, 2005 at 11:48 am
Amy, that’s absolutely fabulous! Congratulations, of course. I think your generosity will make some future bride very, very happy!
October 10th, 2005 at 2:09 pm
It seems to be a good organization based on a great idea. Planning a wedding turns you into SUCH a consumer; it’s nice to be able to do something for charity at the same time.
October 10th, 2005 at 5:22 pm
Err, not that I have a problem, but I ended up with a total of 3 dresses. All thanks to E-bay, I bid on a couple of ones that I wasn’t sure I liked THAT MUCH, but wanted to see on. My bids were like $50. So Now I have 2 dresses to sell– Never been worn:)
October 10th, 2005 at 6:32 pm
Hi Mary!
EBAY can’t be beat for bargain dress shopping, though fitting must be a bit tricky. With what you were spending, no reason not to go a little dress crazy!
I only find it perplexing when future brides spend a thousand dollars or more on a dress only to find one they like that much more that is equally expensive.
October 10th, 2005 at 6:50 pm
Re: getting a dress (or anything else, like a groom, for instance) you’re not sure about: When in doubt, don’t.
October 11th, 2005 at 10:01 am
I rented a gorgeous designer gown for $500, including alterations and headpiece/veil. It was a much nicer dress than I ever would have been able to afford at the time, and I didn’t have to worry about what I was going to do with it after.
http://www.onenightaffair.com
October 11th, 2005 at 11:54 am
Proof that there is room in the world for chocolate, vanilla, and the occasional meringue – for I confess that the Casablanca Bridal number leaves me numb with indifference, and the beaded confection warms the cockles of my lace-loving heart. Of course, the fact that I would look infinitely better, with my 1890’s build, in the meringue, than I would in the meagre bodice of the Casablanca dress, probably has a significant impact upon my preference.
The recent spate of strapless, and often column-like, dresses, has left me paralyzed with total indifference. They are often not as becoming as their wearers seem to have conjectured, and most lack the correct engineering to offer support to a substantial bosom (a fault often shared by the spaghetti-strapped bodice, which does not offer any shelter for the Bra Of Superior Structure).
We’re not even going to talk about the effect of a strapless dress on the back of a woman who lifts weights. Suffice to say, it isn’t always pretty (speaking from my own experience, at least).
October 11th, 2005 at 5:07 pm
LaBellaDonna, I hope never to spurn the substantially bosomed ladies for I myself am among their ranks! I have searched long and hard for the effective strapless support for, when I marry The Beard, I plan to go sans straps come hell or high water. It is the different strokes used by different folks that can make every girl’s wedding special!
October 12th, 2005 at 12:30 pm
If you have the substantial bosom (aka Vast Acreage), I would strongly urge you to not “search” for the correct undergarment, but instead, have it made for you. I recommend, specifically, http://www.deliciouscorsets.com/bridal.html; Delicious Corsets are well-made, and you have the option (it would appear from a cursory review) of having it built into the gown of your choice.
At the very least, I would suggest having a basic corset made for yourself, so that you can be properly kitted out to try on different strapless gowns; it’s virtually impossible to tell how they might look, otherwise. And it may offer other entertaining possibilities while you hunt for The Dress, too.
(I may prefer a meringue for myself, but am perfectly happy to provide spoons for other people’s chocolate or vanilla.)
October 13th, 2005 at 3:49 am
I would (being of Vast Acreage myself) strongly recommend a look at bravissimo. They do strapless bras up to a G cup and have a heck of a lot of great stuff up to a J cup.
October 13th, 2005 at 10:21 am
It’s been a while, but I will peek at Bravissimo again myself. I do have serious reservations regarding “strapless bras” for the VA ladies, based on 1) serious engineering background – I’ve been sewing for … decades … now (ouch); and 2) (a) my own build, and (b) my experiences with “strapless bras.”
My frame tapers from the ribcage down to the waist, below which it curves out again. It does this with a fair amount of exuberance (the taper in both directions, that is). The “strapless bra,” be it never so boned and wired, usually relies upon a death grip (usually some form of elastic band) to keep it anchored in the vicinity of the bosom. It is the nature of all things, but especially strapless bras, to seek the path of least resistance. Unless the bra is tourniquet-tight, producing cleavage in the back as well as the front, it will have a nasty tendency to scooch down to the narrowest spot, i.e., the waistline, which is not the silhouette I wish to sport. Even the “longline” “strapless bra” succumbs to this, in my experience; my torso is too long for the bra’s bottom to sit at my waist and actually support my breasts, which rest on top of the cups (rather than inside them). Again, not the silhouette I desire (and I am 5′6″, no Valkyrie). And this is without the weight of the actual gown itself pulling down on the bra while you wear it and move around in it.
The advantage to the corset is that it is designed to sit at the waist, and the hips will keep it in place; it will support the bosom from underneath, and not from a bandage-like constriction around the ribcage in one place. The corset does not have to be unbearably tight, in any part, in order to give support and ensure a smooth torso line. Most women (those who haven’t worn them, usually) equate “corset” with “unbearable breathless constriction.” Not so, especially with a corset which is made to measure – that is, made to your specific measurements, body shape, and comfort level. Especially for large-busted women, the corset can offer a degree of comfort very seldom found in off-the-rack bras.
I would strongly suggest buying a foundation garment and practicing wearing it around the house to discover your comfort level. If your ribcage-waist structure is more ll than it is )(, you might be able to keep a strapless bra up with relative comfort. It might even give you the silhouette you want. But you don’t want to be tugging at the top of your dress and/or bra on the Big Day (as I have seen actresses do on the red carpet, who were not even all that busty).
My sister-in-law, whose gown I made, wore an off-the-rack corset under her gown (since an off-the-rack corset happened to fit her), and she practised wearing the corset for a number of weekends before the Big Day. She was comfortable and danced vigorously for hours over the course of a long, long day, and she looked most superfantastic.
October 13th, 2005 at 10:47 am
La BellaDonna, that is the most gorgeous undergarment advice ever!
October 13th, 2005 at 3:22 pm
Hee. Would that be a reference to the website of Delicious Corsets (which are, after all, delicious), or to the vast (and sometimes painfully) collected practical Wit and Wisdom of Wearing?
Either way, muchas besos!
October 14th, 2005 at 4:41 pm
Lori– Overall the Mary completely agrees with the “when in doubt, don’t” rule, but after a few discouraging trips to bridal shops (and their masses of strapless) I was concerned I would blow the house downpayment on something/anything, but having those two dresses calmed me down, and each were lovely and flattering, and when I finally found my “Dream Dress” I could buy without guilt.
October 21st, 2005 at 5:25 pm
Your vast amounts of wit and wisdom regarding the undergarments, La Bella, put me to shame! Someday I hope to as wise as you…perhaps before I go from being able to wear a plunging neckline to having a plunging bustline.