I suppose some people don’t think it’s romantic that there was no big proposal in our case, but we’re PARTNERS. We mutually decided after many discussions when we both wanted to get married. He didn’t pick the time to propose and I wasn’t left with a “yes” or “no” decision.

My finace is the most romantic man I know. So romantic, in fact, that the little moments of our daily lives overshadow any contrived grand pronouncements that he could make.

This is my favorite little story about engagement rings, from Dorothy L. Sayer’s “Busman’s Honeymoon,” when Harriet finally accepted Lord Peter and he gave her the ring: “Poor H. laughed at herself, because when Peter gave it to her yesterday, she was looking at _him_ and ten minutes afterwards, when challenged, couldn’t even tell him the color of the stone. Said she was afraid she never would learn how to behave like other people, but Peter had only said it was the first time his features had ever been prized above rubies.”

Heartilly agreed. Though I will admit that I got lucky and my husband was able to surreptitiously research my tastes and present me with the perfect engagment ring (now my wedding band). He even engaged in a complex subterfuge involving costume jewelry on the Venice Beach boardwalk in order to get my ring size… a full year before popping the question!

Still… he was hardly a timid purchaser… and if he had been, he would have easilly been pushed around by the agressive salespeople. Buying rings is an arduous business.

However, most unfortunately, women’s sizes most often seem to be, at best, a suggestion on the part of the manufacturer. I am sure I am not the only lady reading this blog who has hanging in her closet jackets in sizes 6, 8, 10, 12 and 14 - and they all fit. And I favour very, very fitted jackets.

That aside, I cannot help wondering why it is that a man who perhaps can run a corporation, or build a cabinet, or install a sink, or program a computer, is unable to master the concept of looking inside his ladylove’s garments for the size on the little tag. At the very least, it would be a beginning. He could look at a number of garments, and perhaps get an approximate idea of her size. This approach holds good for all different sorts of garments: dresses, shoes, sweaters, coats. I also wonder why it is that a gentleman who can use a tape measure to build a house cannot use one to measure garments that the lady already owns, to gather some idea of her size.

That said, the love of my life has asked what I would like when the time comes to pick a ring, since I have very definite tastes and he wants me to be happy. I told him that while I was willing to give suggestions, when requested, for ordinary gifts of jewelry, I wanted him to pick the ring that he wanted me to wear; I made it clear that I did not care whether it was gold, white gold, rose gold or platinum; whether it had one stone or several; whether the stone(s) was a diamond, a gemstone other than a diamond, or a stone in conjunction with diamonds. I want the ring to be from him alone; one that made him happy to think of it on my hand, and I do not care about the size or shape or colour of the stone involved. To me, honestly, the engagement ring is important because of what it foretells: the marriage to follow. Whatever he gets will make me happy, because I will look at it on my hand and know he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.

It is so true that the ladies always know their men’s sizes! I am quite familiar with most of The Beard’s measurements but I would be quite wary of any attempts on his part to buy me clothing or shoes without asking first.