Manolo for the Brides

I’m a simple broad with classical tastes, so when it comes to engagement rings - not that I’ve ever had the chance to try any on - I like a single diamond in a simple six-pronged setting.

Sure, The Beard knows my preference, but the rest is up to him and I’ll cherish whatever ring he may choose. Such an archaic willingness to be surprised is not for everyone, however.

A future bride and groom I can easily conceive of, whom I will call the RibbonFingers, were engaged for months before said future groom ever put a ring on said future bride’s finger. The progression of their engagement went something like this:

1. The proposal

2. The announcement and the tying of a symbolic red ribbon around the future bride’s ring finger

3. The 30 days of shopping required in order for the future bride to pick out an engagement ring she really, really liked

4. The returning of the first ring so the future bride could choose a ring she really, really, really liked

This is not as uncommon as you might think. Color me old fashioned, but the idea of a nervous young man studying up on jewelry before timidly purchasing a bauble just appeals to me. The engagement ring is a gift and I’ve always believed that the nature of gifts should be left up to the giver.

I do understand that in these modern times perhaps every woman has the right to choose her engagement ring but according to Everything to Do About Weddings, the RibbonFingers still made one mistake.

Today’s brides and grooms often choose rings together; after the proposal (from either party) has been accepted privately. When the engagement ring is on the finger, then the announcement is made public.

Now if only The Beard would hurry up a little.

I’ll admit it. I am absolutely obsessed with handbags. I love them. Nurture them. Collect them and carry them.

Which is why it pains me so that I am still so utterly perplexed by the bridal purse like the one above from Wedding Accessories. I am aware that quite often these mini drawstringed bags come with lotion, a nail file, polish, mints, a sewing kit, bobby pins, packed of ibuprofen and acetaminophen, an ammonia inhalant, bandages, acid relief, tissues and towelettes. Some, known as money bags, are larger and meant to hold the money-laden envelopes procured by the bride during the reception.

Search Your Love tell me that,

The modern bride has quite a few bridal purses to choose from for their wedding day. Designs run from the very ornate to simple purses made of plain white silk or satin. The costs of the purses range from under ten dollars to a thousand or more. Details that make a purse more expensive include the use of pearls, Swarovski crystals, gems, embroidery and hand sewing. The most popular styles of the purse include clutch, handbag, strap, mini, drawstring pouch and envelope.

That’s all well and good. Future brides and happily wedded wives do occasionally need a hairpin or a Tums. What I want to know is when exactly these things are carried. I can’t imagine any girl walking down the aisle with a satin and crystal evening bag on their arm. Nor can I see it being carried during the couple’s first dance. Can you imagine the new bride maneuvering the knife to cut the cake with a handbag in the crook of her elbow?

All I see it doing is laying forgotten on the reception table throughout the entire evening. And that is no way to treat a handbag.

I was happy to receive an absolutely gorgeous thank you note in the mail yesterday from an old friend of mine who also happens to be a future bride. The note included a few very specific words about how often the future bride and groom plan to use my gift - some sort of waffle thing - in the future and how they were sorry I couldn’t make the engagement party. There were also a few personal words from my friend to me.

The traditional thank you note, it seems, is almost a lost art. But the nearly extinct hand-written, personal wedding thank you note serves two distinct purposes. In writing it, the couple acknowledges their receipt of the gift. In receiving it, the giver feels they have not wasted their $49.95 and also has confirmation that said waffle…thing did not get lost in the post.

Mannersmith Monthly tells us that when writing such a note, sincerity is key.

If someone has gone to enough effort to give you a gift, you should properly thank him or her with a personal note…Unless your handwriting is horrific, I recommend handwritten notes for both personal and business thank you notes. There are many advantages to handwritten notes…The old adage is that if someone took the time to give you a gift, you should take the time to write the person a note.

So true. And now, in case you found this lecture on etiquette tedious, here is a photo of a wedding gown that apparently doubles as an accordion:

I’m totally in love with this year’s Reem Acra bridal collection, which includes this absolutely gorgeous strapless satin full-skirted gown with embroidered bow detailing on a multi seamed bodice. While some of the gowns contain slightly risqué elements - can you say plunging neckline? - they are, for the most part, extremely tasteful and highly detailed without resorting to tackiness.

The model, however, I could do without. She looks as if she just got off of a month-long bridal magazine binge and is about to announce to her bridal party that anyone who can’t follow her directions will be shot on sight.

Every little girl dreams of her perfect fantasy wedding, conjuring up details from the setting to the dress to the favors. But how many little girls dream of the Star Trek and Elvis themed wedding?

And let us not forget the Star Wars wedding, which could, according to this site, include: “Han Solo sandwiches“, “Chewbacca Chili“, and naturally “Skywalker Salad Nicoise.”

Theme weddings, as Jeanette Hawkinson of UltimateWedding.com will tell you, are not everyone’s cup of tea. It takes a special kind of future bride to ask her best friends (not to mention the best friends of the future groom) to dress up as southern belles and dandies, biker babes and bikers, or cow girls and cowboys. But I’m fine with that. I am always an advocate of the right to make choices and the right to exercise creativity

As long as no one asks me to dress like a Klingon.

To me this looks like the kind of dress a blushing bride puts on under her wedding dress, not the wedding dress itself.

I found another silver hair today - a grand long one that glinted in the light of my bathroom mirror. Finding one of those and then yanking it out always puts me in a reflective mood and makes my stepmother’s offer of a real shotgun wedding more and more appealing. Of course, at the pace things are going with The Beard, the eventual nuptials are going to look something like this:

My dad and my stepmother are obsessed with the idea of my getting married. Not that I’m not similarly obsessed, but they go about it with an unparalleled fervor. When I told them I’d be doing Manolo for the Brides, I received this note in the mail:

So maybe writing for a wedding etiquette site will inspire you and The Beard to start planning your own wedding? As always we are here for moral support, ideas, the funding of a wedding, and of course permission from the F.O.B. (father of the bride).

Thanks. Really. Thanks.

Manolo says, the Manolo he must recommend to the super fantastic potential brides this beautiful t-strap shoe from the Vera Wang. It is now on the sale, almost 50% off of the regular price!

P.S. If you are not the bride, but like this shoe, it is also available in the light brown color.

A friend of mine from long ago recently announced her engagement by way of an invitation to a party celebrating her future nuptials. I like such announcements because they give me a chance to razzle The Beard. I also love parties. In perusing the invitation, however, my joy was sullied by my finding a registry card.

Even though the couple in question has been living together for ages and both are professional adults, their registry would make one think they were each single, living in dorm-like hovels, and entirely destitute. Every conceivable kitchen implement and piece of functional crystal you could imaging was on their ten mile long list of desires.

Don’t misunderstand me. I love the concept of registries. They make it easy for me to buy a gift that I know the future bride and groom will enjoy. But I absolutely hate the registry card, which sits smugly in wedding invitations and announcements ready to remind me that the couple would prefer something from Macy’s and only Macy’s. I hate it almost as much as future brides and grooms who request cash instead of gifts right on their wedding invitations rather than by word of mouth. Seriously tacky.

A quick search on wedding registry etiquette confirmed my theory that registries are a top notch idea, but placing registry cards in invitations and announcements is just plain uncool. It is the responsibility of each guest to inquire as to whether the couple has a registry or to simply pick up something nice.

Canadian Bride went a step further:

The giver of a gift for any occasion should always give what they want to give, and the receiver should always be gracious when they receive it.
Couples who request cash are not only committing a faux pas, but they are missing the joy of receiving treasured gifts, which is a major part of the wedding experience.

Amen.