The joy of bad weddings
By Never teh Bride
It’s fun to talk about good weddings and good cakes and what qualities make for a good groom and ceremonies that go off without a hitch. But it’s even more fun to talk about weddings gone bad. Where the groom runs off with the bridesmaids or the happy couple does a tacky dollar dance or the new bride is caught in a compromising situation with the bandleader.
That’s why I love Etiquette Hell. At Etiquette Hell, soon-to-be brides or grooms, and hopeful wanna be brides like myself can peruse wedding ceremony and reception horror stories. It’s a funny and sometimes heartbreaking bunch of tales that remind us what not to do.
Currently, I’m particularly stunned by the stories of brides and grooms who wrongfully assume that the gifts they receive must cost as much as or more than the price of a plate at the reception dinner. One poor duo of guests received this simply awful note in the mail in lieu of a thank you card:
“We received your gift in the mail the other day and I must say that we were quite surprised by it. There are a couple of thoughts that come to mind about the gift, and about the events leading up to our wedding.
First of all, we don’t understand why our gift to you for your wedding was not reciprocated in monetary form, considering we gave you both a generous check.
Second of all, we understand that circumstances arise whereby a person cannot attend the wedding, and we are sorry that you were sick, however, we never received a phone call, which would have been an appropriate gesture, even though it would have been too late. The plate was already paid for, and each plate was a considerable amount of money. (I don’t have to tell you that- you know how much weddings cost).
Getting to the point- the value of the gift did not cover 2 plates, let alone 1. We seriously have our doubts about whether or not a gift was even purchased which was from the heart, which would have meant more to us, or whether it was bought out of guilt, due to the fact that it got back to (your husband) that we never got anything from you. A great deal of respect was lost when a gift was received that did not amount to the cost of one plate, nor was not the amount given to you at your wedding. You know as well as we do that we did not do that to you, nor would we. If money is tight, than the response on the invitation should have been a “no”.
November 7th, 2005 at 7:03 pm
*mouth hanging open*
Wow. So much for friendship. So much for class.
I can’t believe that letter! Good grief Charlie Brown!
I offer a pill of the “chill” variety to the author…
Maybe I have a different idea of what my big day will comprise, but out of all the things I look forward to, receiving (and expecting!) expensive gifts is not one of them. I’d be cool with my friends and family just showing up to celebrate with me…To me, they are worth SO much more than material gifts or covering the cost of their plates…How shallow!
November 7th, 2005 at 7:48 pm
You would not believe, however, JayKay, how widespread this gimme gimme gimme attitude really is.
November 7th, 2005 at 9:15 pm
Love that accounts-payable theory of wedding etiquette! Unbelievable.
Though, imho, one must concede one valid point to the reprehensible writers of this letter: Accepting an invitation to a wedding, then not showing up and not calling is pretty crummy behavior too.
November 7th, 2005 at 10:04 pm
catrandom: My one hope is that the new couple was incensed about not receiving a call and only their ire prompted them to write such nasty things. Then later, they were quite sorry and apologized.
November 7th, 2005 at 10:38 pm
You are an optimist, never teh bride. I’m more willing to believe that they were skinflints. Really, I’ve never heard of such a thing.
November 9th, 2005 at 3:13 am
I love it when people try to make their language sophisticated and fail like these people.
“did not amount to the cost of one plate, nor was not the amount given to you at your wedding”
And they use ‘nor’ again in the next sentence. Word-a-day calendar? My favourite part is where they claim you shouldn’t go to a wedding if you can’t afford an expensive gift. At least they’re honest about why they invite people…
November 9th, 2005 at 9:18 pm
These are things you might think, but you don’t write a letter!
Word of the day calendar indeed
November 11th, 2005 at 6:38 pm
I was recently married and a few months prior to my wedding a good friend actually said to me, “Just tell us how much your wedding is a plate so we know how much of a gift to give you.” Needless to say, I laughed that one off.
From what I’ve heard, that idea is rampant here in the Chicago area, but I’ve noticed that a large percentage of the population here is rude, vulgar and seriously lacking in taste–but perhaps that’s just the people I come into contact with.
February 1st, 2008 at 1:48 pm
I think that the bride needs her head examined.. Props on being honest as to why she invited people, but wether or not the person that didn’t attend didn’t call or not doesn’t matter as noone knows why they didn’t go or call so that point isn’t valid. There were people at my wedding that didn’t give gifts and I didn’t care all I wanted was our close family and friends there and that was what we had.