Archive for November, 2005

Bride Breaks for Booze

Sunday, November 13th, 2005

Booze bride

And they say planning the wedding is stressful! This blushing bride apparently needed a snort before she could calm down long enough to pose for photos. After seeing how much pressure many weddings put on the poor bride, I can’t say I blame her.

What’s love worth?

Friday, November 11th, 2005

Decidedly different ring

A great piece in a recently issue of the Indianapolis Star asks, Does love’s sparkle require a diamond? It includes a number of heartbreaking interviews with engaged couples who were simply not taken seriously because their engagement did not begin with the man presenting the woman with a huge chunk of ice. The article got me thinking. DeBeers would have us believe that one’s commitment should equal the cost of two months salary. The first thing anyone asks a future bride is, “Can I see the ring?

When Jordan Corbin and David Wentworth got engaged, he proposed to her with a mother-of-pearl ring that cost about $20. Corbin loved that it was an atypical engagement ring and named it her “magic ring.”

Buying a diamond engagement ring “is what a guy does when he has no imagination and is afraid you’re not going to love him,” she said.

Her family did not agree. When the couple flew to Corbin’s home in Texas, one of the first things her stepfather said was, “Let’s see the ring.” He took her hand and with a disapproving groan, threw it back down and walked away.

But what of students? People with lower incomes? Not to mention people who think that the diamond trade is exploitative and artificially jacks up prices.

I’d like to think that in this modern era, we’re all open minded enough to believe an onyx in a simple silver setting can mean commitment or even that a young couple just starting out might really rather put that those thousands of dollars into an IRA that will support them in their old age. But I guess we’re not.

The bride? She’s SUCH an animal!

Thursday, November 10th, 2005

black tie

Apparently weddings haven’t just gone to the dogs, but to the pandas, too. Giant pandas Lin Hui and Chuang Chuang, residents of the Chieng Mai Zoo in Chieng Mai, Thailand, were recently married in a wedding ceremony arranged by the zoo. The bride and groom both wore tuxes.

A nice day for a wench wedding

Thursday, November 10th, 2005

Serving wench bride

After yesterday’s rousing comment-based discussion regarding straps and strapless, sleeves, and modesty, I started looking into more modest wedding dress options*. I’ve always imagined that when I finally tricked The Beard into marrying me, I would walk down the aisle in something strapless, but I may become a short-sleeve convert. I loved what I found…with the exception of the dress above.

This mock two-piece gown with embroidered, scalloped overskirt and chapel train from Eternity Formalwear looks like it caters to brides who are planning to have a Dungeons & Dragons themed wedding or who want to assert their inner serving wench. All I can say is, Huh?

*Thanks for the tip, Jane C!

Outfitting the mature bride

Wednesday, November 9th, 2005

Mature dress

A long time back, I received a request to address the needs of the mature bride. Particularly these days, when people are waiting to find a life partner instead of opting for the first person of the opposite sex that comes along, not all brides are bouncy twenty-somethings who can only think in terms of a big, white, cookie-cutter wedding. Heck, I’m on my way to becoming a mature bride myself.

Of course, just because one is not fresh-out-of college or still years away from that first grey hair – remember those days? – does not mean one cannot have the fabulous wedding and the fabulous wedding dress of one’s dreams.

I think the raw skilk Anu Pam Bridal dress above would look dashing on the confident mature bride. It’s fitted so shows some sass, but the simple, unadorned nature of the gown itself can help camoflage flaws and remains dignified. Though it is strapless, one’s arms and shoulders are cleverly hidden by the matching bolero. I’ve found that this style of dress can look good on women of a range of sizes…but pairing it with a nice, old fashioned girdle wouldn’t hurt.

An article on CityLine’s web site recommends that the mature bride avoid heavy beading, ornate lace (which can look matronly, especially on the arms), and thickly embellished dresses. It also suggests choosing a dress that hides the parts of your body that you hate and emphasizes what you love. Great shoulders? Show em. Hate your rear end? Don’t go form fitting.

Above all, in my opinion, mature brides should do all they can to avoid looking like the mother of the bride. Sure, getting a two piece practical number that you can wear again and again can be tempting, but remember that the look you’re most likely going for is something that will stun em, not something that will show off your practicality.

Puppy love

Tuesday, November 8th, 2005

going to the dogs

Though most often held by the rich and famous (and eccentric), the popularity of pet weddings is apparently taking off. Mr. and Mrs. Bobby and Gracie Laurer, whom it should be noted are both pugs, were recently married in a lavish $1,200 ceremony in Clinton Township, MI in front of 70 guests of the bipedal and quadrapedal variety.

Recently, the beach wedding of Pamela Anderson’s pooches – Chihuahua Luca and golden retriever Star – was crashed by Sacha Baron Cohen. I’m all for diversity, but I think maybe there ought to be some size restrictions placed on canine couplings. A retriever is a LOT bigger than a Chihuahua.

A Hawaiian company called A Beach Wedding will happily marry your dog to your other dog, your cat to your other cat, your parrot to your iguana, your garter snake to your ferret…the sky’s the limit! And all for only $95!

The joy of bad weddings

Monday, November 7th, 2005

Naughty bridesmaids

It’s fun to talk about good weddings and good cakes and what qualities make for a good groom and ceremonies that go off without a hitch. But it’s even more fun to talk about weddings gone bad. Where the groom runs off with the bridesmaids or the happy couple does a tacky dollar dance or the new bride is caught in a compromising situation with the bandleader.

That’s why I love Etiquette Hell. At Etiquette Hell, soon-to-be brides or grooms, and hopeful wanna be brides like myself can peruse wedding ceremony and reception horror stories. It’s a funny and sometimes heartbreaking bunch of tales that remind us what not to do.

Currently, I’m particularly stunned by the stories of brides and grooms who wrongfully assume that the gifts they receive must cost as much as or more than the price of a plate at the reception dinner. One poor duo of guests received this simply awful note in the mail in lieu of a thank you card:

“We received your gift in the mail the other day and I must say that we were quite surprised by it. There are a couple of thoughts that come to mind about the gift, and about the events leading up to our wedding.

First of all, we don’t understand why our gift to you for your wedding was not reciprocated in monetary form, considering we gave you both a generous check.

Second of all, we understand that circumstances arise whereby a person cannot attend the wedding, and we are sorry that you were sick, however, we never received a phone call, which would have been an appropriate gesture, even though it would have been too late. The plate was already paid for, and each plate was a considerable amount of money. (I don’t have to tell you that- you know how much weddings cost).

Getting to the point- the value of the gift did not cover 2 plates, let alone 1. We seriously have our doubts about whether or not a gift was even purchased which was from the heart, which would have meant more to us, or whether it was bought out of guilt, due to the fact that it got back to (your husband) that we never got anything from you. A great deal of respect was lost when a gift was received that did not amount to the cost of one plate, nor was not the amount given to you at your wedding. You know as well as we do that we did not do that to you, nor would we. If money is tight, than the response on the invitation should have been a “no”.