Manolo for the Brides

The rumors of the supposedly recent Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt nuptials have been greatly exaggerated. I repeat, put down your tabloids. Now, I’m not one to follow celebrity romance. In fact, for the most part, I just don’t have the stamina. I’m a busy woman and those Hollywood types get married and divorced faster than I can eat a quesadilla.

But at the same time, I am for some reason enraptured by the whole Pitt Jolie thing. Maybe it’s because they’re so dang pretty. During my work day, I check celebrity gossip blogs and news sites to see if those two crazy kids have tied the knot yet.

The answer, of course, is no they have not. But they have:

Traveled the world together
Moved in together
Done charity work together
And soon will be parents together

The world – and the paparazzi – are waiting. I’m extra curious to see whether, if they do intend to marry, they can hold a wedding with at least a modicum of privacy.

For the bride that really, really, really wants to make a statement at her wedding, and that statement is, “My wedding dress cost more than most of my guests will earn in a lifetime,” Japanese designer Keiji Tagawa has created a dress aptly named “Platinum White.”

This $1.7 million dress is made of 1,250 platinum beads along with more than 3,000 other jewels including pearls, aquamarines, moonstones and crystals. Precious metal and semi-precious stones are woven together to create images of cherry blossom trees and roses.

According to a Yahoo News story about the heavily blinged dress,

The gown, which for now will go on display rather than down the aisle, was designed on behalf of the Tokyo office of Platinum Guild International, a producers group, at a time that platinum is trading at 25-year highs.

Bling bling, indeed.

Practically every December since The Beard and I have been an item, I have wished for only one thing for Christmas. And that one thing, of course, is a ring. Now, while The Beard knows about this blog, I’m pretty sure he’s never looked at it. In fact, I’m pretty sure he’s afraid to look at it.

I’ve toyed with the idea of sending him a link to the site. And I could throw caution to the wind and buy him something like Renee Newman’s Diamond Ring Buying Guide: How to Evaluate, Identify and Select Diamonds & Diamond Jewelry .

But maybe other men aren’t so fearful of commitment and maybe they could benefit from a little help in the ring department - for those whose girls want engagement rings, of course. If I can assist but one future husband to choose the perfect bauble for his future wife, my faith in holiday magic will be renewed. For those of you who don’t necessarily want to buy a whole book to make what one hopes will be a one-time purchase, here are some spot on engagement ring how-to’s:

How to Buy Her an Engagement Ring She’ll Love

I have a lot of younger siblings and when I say younger, I mean decades younger. When I was somewhat less aged than I am now, I was naive enough to assume that when I wed, one of my three sisters would be young enough to take on the role of flower girl. Boy, was I wrong. And, to add insult to injury, my youngest younger brother is almost too old to be a ring bearer.

That said, I still like to peruse the racks of frilly little girl dresses and to look at the little baskets, like this one from Bridal People, that could have held the rose petals that would have been strewn under my feet had I not consistantly chosen beaus that aren’t ready.

With all that can go wrong when planning a wedding, future brides deserve holiday breaks. Compound all the stress of the upcoming event with holiday prep and you have a recipe for a pre-nuptial freak-out. The Philosophy ‘Here Comes the Bride’ gift set includes a dose of hope, purity, grace, soul, and time…all in convenient bath product form. I’m not usually one for frilly bath stuff, but I think I’d feel differently if I was trying to balance catering options with Christmas shopping.

One of the Internet friends of the Manolo pointed out this picture of a gown that I can only surmise falls under the catagory of showgirl chic. I don’t know who these people are and what would inspire a woman to get married in a get-up that could come apart with one determined tug.

Reader Snopes Fiend found the explanation on Snopes:

the photographs displayed above are genuine and depict an actual Russian wedding. The bride is said to be a professional belly dancer (hence the unusual attire) named Anna Atamanchuk from St. Petersburg.

But, since I always like a truly wacky story to go with my picture, I will, as an aside, a story from the career of New England’s self-proclaimed most popular justice of the peace/clergyman, the Honorable Reverend Dennis James Robinson:

The groom came to the wedding with a 45-motorcycle escort and the bride, who was an exotic dancer, came with a 200-motorcycle escort. She, however, sat in a sidecar with her rather racy wedding dress on. Her veil was sticking up straight in the air pulling up to the chapel. When I asked her if she took this man to be her husband, she immediately pulled on this zip away or pull away dress like she was going to do her act, and she said: “Yes I do baby”. No one was taken aback considering their reputations, but I told her to put the dress back on so I could finish the ceremony. She had planned on it anyway, but wanted a little bit of shock value. All I could do was put my hand over my heart like Fred Sanford used to do having one of his patented heart attacks.

No, not a emerald. And definitely not some Cracker Jack bauble that leaves a green stain around your finger. I’m talking environmentally friendly precious metals and stones. According to GreenKarat,

Throughout history, jewelry has held a special place in the fabric of human culture. Unfortunately, industrial methods of extracting jewelry’s precious metals and gems from the earth damage the land and endanger ecosystems. Further, industrial values frequently reduce the labor component of production to the level of a cog in a machine.

Their goal is to end destructive mining of gold and diamonds and so forth by encouraging people to buy jewelry that lives up to fair trade and positive ecological standards. I can definitely get behind that. Mining can be pretty dang destructive to people and living things. Certain types of mining inject the earth with poisonous and potentially lethal chemicals that then drain into water systems, killing wildlife and making people sick. To that I say, Bleah.

Being that I’m always tossing jewelry-related hints The Beard’s way, I can usually be heard pushing for fair trade metals and beautiful, eco-friendly Moissanite. Gotta keep this earth clean and green for the brides and grooms of the future!

Is it just me, or is the shape of this satin and organza sheat dress from Impression Bridal just…wrong? The bottom half of the dress - or is it the model in the dress - looks like it belongs to a cartoon caricature of Marilyn Monroe. Sure, this dress is making an impression. And that impression is “hard to walk in.”

I do, however, recommend checking out Impression Bridal’s web site just for bizarro fact that their spring 2006 wedding catalog - as small as it is - features models posing with muscular naked men. Huh?