I have a lot of younger siblings and when I say younger, I mean decades younger. When I was somewhat less aged than I am now, I was naive enough to assume that when I wed, one of my three sisters would be young enough to take on the role of flower girl. Boy, was I wrong. And, to add insult to injury, my youngest younger brother is almost too old to be a ring bearer.

That said, I still like to peruse the racks of frilly little girl dresses and to look at the little baskets, like this one from Bridal People, that could have held the rose petals that would have been strewn under my feet had I not consistantly chosen beaus that aren’t ready.

With all that can go wrong when planning a wedding, future brides deserve holiday breaks. Compound all the stress of the upcoming event with holiday prep and you have a recipe for a pre-nuptial freak-out. The Philosophy ‘Here Comes the Bride’ gift set includes a dose of hope, purity, grace, soul, and time…all in convenient bath product form. I’m not usually one for frilly bath stuff, but I think I’d feel differently if I was trying to balance catering options with Christmas shopping.

One of the Internet friends of the Manolo pointed out this picture of a gown that I can only surmise falls under the catagory of showgirl chic. I don’t know who these people are and what would inspire a woman to get married in a get-up that could come apart with one determined tug.

Reader Snopes Fiend found the explanation on Snopes:

the photographs displayed above are genuine and depict an actual Russian wedding. The bride is said to be a professional belly dancer (hence the unusual attire) named Anna Atamanchuk from St. Petersburg.

But, since I always like a truly wacky story to go with my picture, I will, as an aside, a story from the career of New England’s self-proclaimed most popular justice of the peace/clergyman, the Honorable Reverend Dennis James Robinson:

The groom came to the wedding with a 45-motorcycle escort and the bride, who was an exotic dancer, came with a 200-motorcycle escort. She, however, sat in a sidecar with her rather racy wedding dress on. Her veil was sticking up straight in the air pulling up to the chapel. When I asked her if she took this man to be her husband, she immediately pulled on this zip away or pull away dress like she was going to do her act, and she said: “Yes I do baby”. No one was taken aback considering their reputations, but I told her to put the dress back on so I could finish the ceremony. She had planned on it anyway, but wanted a little bit of shock value. All I could do was put my hand over my heart like Fred Sanford used to do having one of his patented heart attacks.

No, not a emerald. And definitely not some Cracker Jack bauble that leaves a green stain around your finger. I’m talking environmentally friendly precious metals and stones. According to GreenKarat,

Throughout history, jewelry has held a special place in the fabric of human culture. Unfortunately, industrial methods of extracting jewelry’s precious metals and gems from the earth damage the land and endanger ecosystems. Further, industrial values frequently reduce the labor component of production to the level of a cog in a machine.

Their goal is to end destructive mining of gold and diamonds and so forth by encouraging people to buy jewelry that lives up to fair trade and positive ecological standards. I can definitely get behind that. Mining can be pretty dang destructive to people and living things. Certain types of mining inject the earth with poisonous and potentially lethal chemicals that then drain into water systems, killing wildlife and making people sick. To that I say, Bleah.

Being that I’m always tossing jewelry-related hints The Beard’s way, I can usually be heard pushing for fair trade metals and beautiful, eco-friendly Moissanite. Gotta keep this earth clean and green for the brides and grooms of the future!

Is it just me, or is the shape of this satin and organza sheat dress from Impression Bridal just…wrong? The bottom half of the dress – or is it the model in the dress – looks like it belongs to a cartoon caricature of Marilyn Monroe. Sure, this dress is making an impression. And that impression is “hard to walk in.”

I do, however, recommend checking out Impression Bridal’s web site just for bizarro fact that their spring 2006 wedding catalog – as small as it is – features models posing with muscular naked men. Huh?