Choo choo!

But can you go cross country?

First, I want to thank everyone for being so open about your wedding costs. It was so eye opening to read the wide range of costs and the many different ways one can have a wedding! Next, I want to show you something that no doubt put a huge strain on one family’ bridal budget: the ninety-nine meter long train.

The longest in China to date, this train required fifty flower girls to hoist and move it, just so the bride could walk down the aisle. However, this train was by no means the longest in the world. That official record allegedly is held by Hege Lorence and Rolf Rotset, who created a train 670 feet long that required an entourage of 186 bridemaids and page boys.

Britains Jordan, aka Katie Price, who married Peter Andre last year, claimed she was going to wear the world’s longest train at 2,545 feet long but I can find no record of her actually having done so. Until I do, here is a picture of her wedding, which, in my opinion, includes a number of fairly obvious wedding “don’ts.”


11 Responses to “Choo choo!”

  1. I’m especially wierded out by that frightentingly phallic wedding cake. Looks like the preview to the real thing, when she whips out the Redi-Whip for the honeymoon. Gah! (She does have a can of Redi-Whip, Jimmy Hoffa and a circus full of midget clowns hidden under that skirt, doesn’t she?)

  2. jj says:

    Ah, but those little red envelopes probably more than make up for the cost of the train!

  3. Never teh Bride says:

    Ha! I think you may be right Omibus. To me it looks as if that cake is about four seconds away from collapsing under its own weight and thus becoming the first ever cake-created black hole.

  4. Never teh Bride says:

    Is that what they’re yholding, jj? For some reason, I thought they were flashing their passports!

  5. Sonetka says:

    The Chinese couple, are they not holding the Little Red Books of Chairman Mao? Or is that no longer obligatory on the public occasions?

    As to the second photo, ay de mi….there is so much wrong with it, the Annalucia scarcely knows where to begin…the bride has forgotten to put the gown on over the crinoline slip, the groom he looks most disconcertingly like the Liberace, and the cake, it looks like something removed from the gray whale during the emergency surgery. This is something the Annalucia most definitely did not need to see, not when she is just recovered from what Dave Barry calls the Marian Death Flu.

    (Back to the ginger ale and the Saltine crackers…)

  6. Annalucia says:

    Please not the correction to the above post: it was left by the Annalucia and not the Sonetka, who was visiting over the New Year and was logged in on the family computer, and the Annalucia neglected to change it back. She has now done so.

  7. gidget bananas says:

    The Gidget hopes the Annalucia will get well soon.

    I suspect the biggest wedding “don’t” at Jordan’s wedding was Jordan herself. (Although her name does bring to mind all the pretty pastel almonds wrapped in net given as favors in all the Italian weddings I attended in my youth. Apparently, I’m the only person who likes them, and I would wander among the guests collecting the little net bags and eat them in lieu of the lasagna.)

  8. A.L. says:

    That woman looks totally insane.

  9. Gigolo Kitty says:

    I find it strange so many Chinese brides are adopting the Western traditions of white dresses rather than the auspicious red, especially since red is considered the color of mourning. My mother and all females in my extended South Asian clan would go into collective hysterics (with much beating of breasts and tearing of hear and appeals to Heavens about ungrateful children) if even a smidgen of white appeared on my wedding outfit.

  10. BTW —

    Did Jordan steal the Miss Universe crown for the happy occasion?