It’s supposed to be lighthearted and fun, and it is when people know the tradition and are spirited. It’s horribly tacky though, when the bride and groom don’t know the tradition and just have people line up and dance with the bride. Then it’s uncomfortable for everyone. I suggest that if a Polish family chooses to use the custom, they explain it briefly in the wedding program so the non-Polish guests know what to expect and know how to play along.

Instead of paying for the privilege of dancing with the bride or groom, the couple dance and other folks come over and pin money on them. I have actually gone to a wedding where money pledges were announced over a loudspeaker to my family’s embarassment (we’re old school and prefer discreet gifts).

There is some social pressure to not look stingy, but the idea of the whole thing is to give the couple some cash with which to start off their life as a couple. It is rarely done where the newlyweds come from rich families — they do not need the money!

I came to realize that people in cultures where money dances are traditional don’t see it as paying for the privilege of dancing with the bride or groom, or as some sort of extortion or prostitution. They see it as a way to give them gifts.