How could I have missed this?
By Never teh Bride
According to a Cornell University study released in November of last year, people in relationships are generally happier than other people. But that’s not all. Apparently, the level of commitment in your relationship also has an effect on how happy you are. Spouses have the highest level of well-being, even when their marriages are in the pooper, which is odd. Cohabitating couples like myself and The Beard are next on the happiness scale. Those in steady relationships and then those in casual relationships follow.
“Some commitment appears to be good, but more commitment appears to be even better,” said Claire Kamp Dush, a postdoctoral fellow with the Evolving Family Theme Project of the Institute for the Social Sciences at Cornell and first author of one of the few studies to examine well-being across the relationship continuum.
“Even when controlling for relationship happiness, being married is associated with higher self-esteem, greater life satisfaction, greater happiness and less distress, whereas people who are not in stable romantic relationships tend to report lower self-esteem, less life satisfaction, less happiness and more distress,” she explained.
Of course, I’m always suspicious of such studies. I think it’s entirely possible to be super happy without a boyfriend or girlfriend. My guess is that the researchers use a number of variables to define happiness, which may include support and companionship. That said, there is no reason not to tuck this tidbit of information away into my arsenal of information regarding weddings and such that I use to discomfit The Beard.
If you want to talk commitment with your mate, consider picking up Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. My dad bought a copy for me and The Beard and I loved it. It helps people understand that there are a ton of different ways people express love.
Or you could just watch Dean Martin in How To Save a Marriage And Ruin Your Life.
January 17th, 2006 at 3:25 pm
I think it is true but the reasons are backwards. In general you have to be happy within yourself to be able to have a committed relationship, so while their stats are probably accurate, it is not the commitment level of the relationship that determines the happiness level, but it’s the happiness level that makes the commitment level possible.
January 17th, 2006 at 4:59 pm
Ooh, what an interesting take on the study, HDG. I never even thought of that possibility. Smart!
January 18th, 2006 at 11:44 am
Yeah, I think the causality might be mixed up here: “people who are not in stable romantic relationships tend to report lower self-esteem, less life satisfaction, less happiness and more distress” could just as easily (and more accurately) read: “people who report lower self-esteem, less life satsifaction, etc. tend not to be in stable relationships.” Because low self-esteem and unhappiness are not the most attractive qualities. Silly misleading statistics!
January 18th, 2006 at 12:23 pm
Actually, the study states, “Little support was found for the assumption that people with a high level of well-being select themselves into more committed relationships.” It’s been my observation that needy women are seldom without a man for more than a few weeks. And low self-esteem and unhappiness are very attractive qualities for those who are looking for someone to rescue, or to dump on.
January 18th, 2006 at 1:25 pm
I guess there are a lot of ways one could interpret this study!