A wedding wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen

When brides need double-sided tape they\'ve gone too far.

I have this rule about wedding dresses. That rule is: If you have to use double sided tape to keep from falling out of it, it’s probably inappropriate. This chiffon destination gown with empire waist and beaded band from After Six definitely falls under the heading of that rule. While it is pretty, it looks rather like something the bride would wear on her wedding night rather than during her wedding day.

With its deep v-neck with double spaghetti straps, this is not a dress you wear to get married in a church. Frankly, it’s probably not a dress you wear to your wedding if your family will be in attendance. It might be the dress you wear to elope in a Vegas wedding chapel run by an Elvis impersonator. Or the dress you wear when your wedding is taking place immediately after the Oscars, at which you are presenting.

19 Responses to “A wedding wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen”

  1. S says:

    I think that dress is gorgeous. I would LOVE to get married in something like that. Seeing as I live at the beach, and will probably marry on the beach, I think it is quite appropriate…

  2. jj says:

    I absolutely disagree. I think for a bride who’s well into her 30’s or 40’s and has the self assurance to carry it off, that a little skin and sexiness is perfectly fine. I don’t think it’s quite appropriate for a younger bride (like the model) where the fresh, wholesome, virginal look still rules.

    Note that I said a *LITTLE* skin and sexiness. No going overboard! That neckline, say with a skirt slit up to mid-thigh would be too much.

  3. Lori says:

    Never teh Bride, I agree with you. This looks more like After Ten than After Six.

    Imagine the view that the guests will have if the bride bends over. Or when the groom dips her during a dance.

    And unless said 40-ish woman is remarkably flat-chested and toned, she’s just going to look like a middle-aged woman trying to be 25.

  4. Gail says:

    I’m going to my first appointment to try and find a wedding dress next Tuesday, and I’m dreading it because I swear, sleeves are no longer allowed on wedding dresses. I have no idea what people have against sleeves, but I’m imagining I’ll have a choice between the Mormon version and the Orthodox Jewish version of wedding dresses.

  5. Never teh Bride says:

    I think I would agree with you guys, S and jj, if the necklike wasn’t quite so low. On a bride with a shorter torso, the V would reach down to the real waistline. As it is, it seems awfully low for an empire waist.

    Gail, don’t necessarily knock the Mormon wedding choices. Someone pointed me to a LDS site with gowns that were sleeved but also quite attractive. I’m not saying you should buy from a site like that, but they may be able to give you some ideas.

  6. JaneC says:

    That was me with the long-sleeved gowns. 🙂 And don’t worry, Gail. The majority of gowns out there may be strapless or spaghetti-strap, but that doesn’t mean that the sleeved gowns are ugly. There are enough brides out there who require sleeved gowns (not just LDS or Orthodox Jewish–a surpising number of Catholic parishes require modest gowns, too) for there to be a selection of pretty things. It’ll be tougher for you, but it can be done!

  7. Twistie says:

    And don’t forget about the possibility of having a custom gown made, Gail, or finding a nice but modest evening gown in white.

    Definitely with you, NtB. I really think the wedding is a great place not to show everyone what the groom will see on the wedding night. It’s a pretty dress for a formal occasion, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable getting married in something like that,

  8. Gail says:

    I really should look at the modest wedding gown sites again. It doesn’t help that I’m 4’10 and ‘thick waisted’, it turns out. Nothing like gown shopping to bring out the body flaws you’ve been denying for years. 🙂

    I have noticed that some brides are wearing sheer or very lacy fitted jackets over their sleeveless gowns, which might be an option for me.

  9. La BellaDonna says:

    And for a variety of wedding dresses with sleeves, start searching the Net under “Western Wedding.” There are quite a few (not all, but a good many) wedding dresses on those sites that have sleeves. Some of them are not to my taste, since I myself wouldn’t wear a handkerchief hem with fringe for a wedding dress, but there are an awful lot of dresses that even the most dress-ignorant male would be able to point at and say, “That’s a wedding dress.” (Which is to say, dresses which have a lot of traditional features, including sleeves.)

  10. Gigolo Kitty says:

    I agree that dress looks more appropriate for the bedroom than the church. On the other hand, she could save time not having to change for the wedding night.

  11. gidget bananas says:

    You might consider a vintage gown, or a gown made from a vintage pattern because those are more likely to have sleeves. Getting a vintage dress to fit a modern body can be a problem, though.

  12. jenny says:

    (Never teh Bride, I applaud your defense of modest dresses! I’m so proud of you, honey! *sniff.* Though I must agree with Gail that there aren’t many options around for any sort of dresses with sleeves, let alone gorgeous wedding dresses with sleeves. What’s up? Does everyone but me have fabulous triceps?! My developing “lunch lady arms” don’t do sleeveless (or even cap sleeves) real well.

    Gail, I love the idea of a little jackety-thing. Beautiful, and ten times more comfortable than exposing areas about which you feel less-than-confident. And elegant in a very honestly-vintage, 30’s sort of way.)

    This dress is lovely, but would make me so darn self-conscious that I’d sweat like a pig and never be able to be completely at ease the entire day, even with double-stick tape running the full length of the bodice on both sides. But the lines of it totally remind me of John Singer Sargent’s painting of Madame X. I think it’s the deep, curving plunge. Scandalous!

  13. Never teh Bride says:

    Thanks, Jenny! The tides of fashion often turn to the ridiculous – and that which can only be worn by the very lucky grownup or the teen girl. For example, the ultra low rider pants, the belly shirt, super tight jeans, miniskirts, and the teeny tank top. Though wedding fashions move more slowly, strapless happens to be in right now. No doubt sleeves will one day make their triumphant return.

  14. La BellaDonna says:


    This will take you to at least one wedding dress with sleeves. And I’m still trying to figure out why a woman in her 40’s is going to “just going to look like a middle-aged woman trying to be 25” instead of looking like a woman in her 40’s in a low-cut dress. I wouldn’t wear it as a wedding dress, but I know a number of women in their 40’s who would look their age AND look good in it – and they’re sure as heck not flat, either.

  15. Never teh Bride says:

    Wow, La BellaDonna, that is one heck of a dress!

  16. Gail says:

    La BellaDonna, I would totally wear that dress. Or rather, that dress would wear me.

    But, in good news, I found my dress! You can see me in all its ill fitted bungy cord wearing glory here:


    It was literally the only dress in the salon with long sleeves. The factory will have to shorten them for me – partly because of the embellishment, and partly because this busy, large bridal salon hasn’t had to alter long sleeves for well over a year. They are that out of style. I had 7 dresses to choose from with any sort of sleeve at all – its lucky I fell in love with that dress.

    My dress is so princessy and stereotypical, but I adored it the second I put it on.

    So, still feeling all glowy. 🙂

  17. Lori says:

    La Bella Donna, I suppose it’s a matter of personal preferance whether one thinks a lady of a certain age looks becoming in skimpy clothes. I happen to think most of them don’t, even if they have the figure for it, and especially if they don’t have the figure or the skin for it.

    I myself just turned 37 and I am retiring my short skirts (that is, hems more than a few inches above the knee) while I still have good legs. I don’t want to turn into that 40-ish woman who dresses like *thinks* she can still pass for 20-something. No thanks. Her friends may tell her how young she looks, but to actual 20-somethings, she looks like a middle-aged woman in a young girl’s clothes. I may be lean and athletic, but I am also a grown up lady, not an ingenue, and wish to look the part.

  18. La BellaDonna says:

    Lori, I agree with you about dressing as a grown-up. For me, short skirts went out of my wardrobe… um, after high school, actually. I just happen to think that a low-cut gown is something that is flattering to women who are not in their twenties, as well as those who are, and actually more flattering to women who are NOT flat-chested. I don’t see it as a style that belongs only to the young, and certainly not only to the flat-chested (who can sometimes look a bit pitiful, if they haven’t anything to fill out the gown).

    Like everything else, It Just Depends – depends on the gown, depends on the woman, depends on her comfort level.

  19. Spice says:

    WHAT HAVE I WALKED IN TO???????????