Comments on: No laughing matter http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/ Manolo Loves the Brides! Tue, 02 Dec 2008 21:01:37 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: AlwaysABride http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/#comment-4297 AlwaysABride Sat, 27 May 2006 21:20:41 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/#comment-4297 This is so awful, and it is maddening that it is not only overlooked by almost condoned by the governements in the countries where this type of violation is allowed to occur. This is so awful, and it is maddening that it is not only overlooked by almost condoned by the governements in the countries where this type of violation is allowed to occur.

]]> By: Ninjarina http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/#comment-4232 Ninjarina Sat, 27 May 2006 03:56:22 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/#comment-4232 Dang, that last anon comment was mine - I'm not logged in on the work comp :( Dang, that last anon comment was mine - I’m not logged in on the work comp :(

]]> By: Mollie http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/#comment-4176 Mollie Fri, 26 May 2006 17:33:39 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/#comment-4176 That broke my heart, especially the little girl (younger sister?) at the house where the girl was kidnapped and hung herself. Do you think her parents will have learned from what happened to her older sister, or do you think they will encourage a kidnapping when the time comes? Thank you Never teh Bride, I enjoy this site so much, whether it's funny or sad. That broke my heart, especially the little girl (younger sister?) at the house where the girl was kidnapped and hung herself. Do you think her parents will have learned from what happened to her older sister, or do you think they will encourage a kidnapping when the time comes?

Thank you Never teh Bride, I enjoy this site so much, whether it’s funny or sad.

]]> By: Anonymous http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/#comment-4175 Anonymous Fri, 26 May 2006 17:30:22 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/#comment-4175 NTB - There is a lot of that sort of reasoning regarding other things too. I read a story not too long ago about a man in South Africa (I think) raping his stepdaughter and the mother was charged w/ accessory b/c she helped hold her own daughter down while it happened, telling her that it had happened to her when she was a child too. It's the same logic that prompts elder women in extremist Muslim/Hindu areas that permit, encourage, and/or rationalise retaliatory action against "uppity" women. That feeling of schadefreude I think is misdirected hostility b/c women in these situations are powerless against their oppressors (i.e. men, their society, the state, etc.). It's by no means ok but I wouldn't be so quick to beat up on them. There is no other avenue for them to channel this type of rage and it's nothing but sad b/c I don't believe any loving mother truly believes that this should happen to her daughter or anyone elses. NTB - There is a lot of that sort of reasoning regarding other things too. I read a story not too long ago about a man in South Africa (I think) raping his stepdaughter and the mother was charged w/ accessory b/c she helped hold her own daughter down while it happened, telling her that it had happened to her when she was a child too.

It’s the same logic that prompts elder women in extremist Muslim/Hindu areas that permit, encourage, and/or rationalise retaliatory action against “uppity” women. That feeling of schadefreude I think is misdirected hostility b/c women in these situations are powerless against their oppressors (i.e. men, their society, the state, etc.). It’s by no means ok but I wouldn’t be so quick to beat up on them. There is no other avenue for them to channel this type of rage and it’s nothing but sad b/c I don’t believe any loving mother truly believes that this should happen to her daughter or anyone elses.

]]> By: Never teh Bride http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/#comment-4173 Never teh Bride Fri, 26 May 2006 16:53:34 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/#comment-4173 And I heartily agree, La BellaDonna! Tradition and culture do not make a practise right. Just because some people think X is okay doesn't mean X is actually okay. And I heartily agree, La BellaDonna! Tradition and culture do not make a practise right. Just because some people think X is okay doesn’t mean X is actually okay.

]]> By: Never teh Bride http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/#comment-4172 Never teh Bride Fri, 26 May 2006 16:51:28 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/#comment-4172 If you watch the Frontline piece, there is this attitude among the already married women of "It happened to me and I'm fine, so calm down and suck it up." It's almost as if they are pleased. "If I had to have this happen to me, I can ease some of my anger by making it happen to someone else." If you watch the Frontline piece, there is this attitude among the already married women of “It happened to me and I’m fine, so calm down and suck it up.” It’s almost as if they are pleased. “If I had to have this happen to me, I can ease some of my anger by making it happen to someone else.”

]]> By: Riona http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/#comment-4171 Riona Fri, 26 May 2006 16:29:07 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/#comment-4171 NTB, thank for you saying: "It also kind of burns me when people justify this sort of thing by saying, “Well, it’s a part of their culture.” These types of moral relativism seemed cool when I was, oh, twelve. There was a piece on NPR on bride kidnapping in Georgia a few days ago. Here's <a href="http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5403695" rel="nofollow">the link</a>. NTB, thank for you saying: “It also kind of burns me when people justify this sort of thing by saying, “Well, it’s a part of their culture.” These types of moral relativism seemed cool when I was, oh, twelve.

There was a piece on NPR on bride kidnapping in Georgia a few days ago. Here’s the link.

]]> By: Chaeriste http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/#comment-4170 Chaeriste Fri, 26 May 2006 15:54:51 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/#comment-4170 I'm always appalled when I read something like this. With every advancing moment, we continue to fall backwards in time. I'm glad, once again, that I live in a country that allows me so many choices. I’m always appalled when I read something like this. With every advancing moment, we continue to fall backwards in time. I’m glad, once again, that I live in a country that allows me so many choices.

]]> By: La BellaDonna http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/#comment-4169 La BellaDonna Fri, 26 May 2006 15:43:18 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/#comment-4169 I have seen the documentary, though, and you know what? If <b>one</b> of those marriages is not consensual, <b>it's still not right.</b> There was nothing silly, or funny, or traditional, about the woman who was lamenting about the loss of the man she loved, and who loved her, because <i>someone else kidnapped her</i> before she could marry her true love. "Common practice and usage" is no excuse for depriving <i>anyone</i> of liberty. I have seen the documentary, though, and you know what? If one of those marriages is not consensual, it’s still not right. There was nothing silly, or funny, or traditional, about the woman who was lamenting about the loss of the man she loved, and who loved her, because someone else kidnapped her before she could marry her true love.

“Common practice and usage” is no excuse for depriving anyone of liberty.

]]> By: Never teh Bride http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/#comment-4166 Never teh Bride Fri, 26 May 2006 14:15:36 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/2006/05/25/no-laughing-matter/#comment-4166 I agree with you, Ninjarina. In the documentary (or was it one of the articles I looked at?), they discussed how for many people, particularly more educated people, the bridal kidnapping is a fun part of the wedding ritual and entirely consensual. I should have made it more clear in my post that it's roughly one third of kidnappings that are non-consensual. The other two thirds of them are just part of the fun, I assume. I agree with you, Ninjarina. In the documentary (or was it one of the articles I looked at?), they discussed how for many people, particularly more educated people, the bridal kidnapping is a fun part of the wedding ritual and entirely consensual. I should have made it more clear in my post that it’s roughly one third of kidnappings that are non-consensual. The other two thirds of them are just part of the fun, I assume.

]]>