Look out Angelina! The World’s Greatest Bride is in town and on the market. Or, at least she was until bidding ended without any of the potential buyers meeting the reserve price. Someone on EBAY recently tried to auction off “a full-size mannequin with a lifelong commitment” wearing a $2,000 wedding gown. More than just a dress auction – the bride was included!
Now I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume the owner of the World’s Greatest Bride is a man. Perhaps a good and honest man, but certainly a weird man. Who needs a full-size mannequin in a $2,000 wedding gown? Why would someone spend that much on a gown for a mannequin? According to the ad:
The dress was purchased for the mannequin and has never been left at the alter. She has performed her duties in our bridal section and is now ready for a new companion.
Is that some sort of euphemism? And, more importantly, what did they need it (her?) for? Let me share a few ideas:
- The mannequin appears to be interred in a florist’s shop. Perhaps her dead-eyed, open-mouthed stare was intended to frighten future brides into buying larger, more elaborate bouquets.
- Someone needed a mannequin in a wedding gown for a photo shoot – perhaps the florist. A truly bizarre photo shoot. Mannequins are no doubt easier to manage than models.
- Someone wanted to use the HOV lane with impunity. And what cop is going to pull over a pair of newlyweds going a couple of miles over the speed limit? No doubt the officer would assume they are just eager to get to their hotel!
You decide: Possible perversion or harmless fun. I’m partial to option three, having watched the cars in the HOV lane whizzing by while stuck in traffic too many times to count. Maybe I’ll put in a bid next go around. Really. I’m just itching to know what the reserve price was.
It might have been a RealDoll, which makes it very icky.
I was thinking that, too, Kai Jones, but I didn’t want to be the one to say it 😉
That’s…just…words fail me.
I think it was meant to be a tongue-in-cheek commentary that would draw more interest to the dress, but, really…just no.
OTOH, I think Door Number 3 is a good idea of what to do once you get it home!
ewwww
You can find ANYTHING on e-bay now.
All I can think of is “Phantome of the Opera”. The phantome kept a bust of his beloved (aka) obsession wearing a bridal gown in his bedroom.
I’m inclined to think this was a tounge-in-cheek humor attempt. At least I really, really, hope so.
In our town there’s a bridal shop with a full-size glass display box perched high on the sign-post, directly below the sign. Inside is a mannequin wearing a sunburnt 15+-year-old wedding dress [which some poor now-fired seamstress probably flubbed beyond repair once upon a time].
(Owner: “I cannot afford another disaster like this, people! Someone go put the blasted thing on that mannequin in the basement and stick it out front to get people’s attention….[*mumble, mumble*…Good night, who’s supposed pay for this? …maybe we can get SOMETHIN’ out of this disaster…*mumble, mumble*] JAAAAACKIEEEEEE! Get in here and take care of this mess. For Pete’s sake, what to you idiots think I’m made of… MONEY?!“)
I had a friend who used to tease me about getting a summer job modeling the dress in that Bible-quality fiery furnace of a display case in the sweltering west sun. Hey…maybe this mannequin was retired after just such a distinguished career!
Or maybe these folks are just sick.