Animal nuptialism
By Never teh BrideOkay, so we all know that including pets in weddings is kind of silly. And pets up the potential for nuptial snafus. But sometimes getting hitched with animals in tow can go off…without a hitch. And if pets are going to participate, they ought to look the part, no? Everyone knows that you can buy little tuxedos and wedding gowns for canines, and little veils for felines (though how you’d keep that on your cat’s head, I’ll never know). But a quick search reveals that the range of animal formalwear goes well beyond cats and dogs.
A company called Cuddly Cavies will help your Guinea pigs tie the knot in style. For a mere $13, they will hand sew a tiny tux or wedding gown. I’m sure the people who buy these are not weird at all. No really.
A live ferret is as good as a fur muff, I always say. The well-dressed ferret can be trained to hop down the aisle with a ringbearers’ pillow strapped to its back. But once it gets there, how do you keep it from nipping at the bridesmaids’ exposed toes? Ask Pet Chauffeur, which markets this little tux…to the myriad people who need ferret tuxedos.
Parrots make lousy guests – no doubt you can imagine why. Wedding ceremonies go on long enough without everyone having to hear everything twice. But, if you simply insist on having Polly look on while you say your vows, why not dress her in a gown that will make people sit up and take notice. Metallics are hot right now. *BRAWK!* Metallics are hot right now.
Even the well-dressed hamster can get in on the act! Of course, it’s easier to tape little hats to their heads than to keep them from wriggling out of silk sheath dresses.
June 8th, 2006 at 3:55 pm
I’m sorry, but those hamsters are so cute! I’m tellin’ ya, though: how they ever got that parrot dressed without receiving some serious blood-spurting puncture wounds on their hands and arms, I’ll never know. Maybe it’s been drugged. Or maybe it’s stuffed…
June 8th, 2006 at 4:32 pm
I once tried to put little matching shirts on my cats. When I was released from the emergency room, I vowed never to do it again.
June 8th, 2006 at 6:17 pm
Sigh! The Gigolo now wants a tux. I ask you, isn’t a bow-tie enough?
June 8th, 2006 at 6:58 pm
Man, that GK is one fine feline!
June 9th, 2006 at 1:19 am
Muy suave! I love the “man of the world” half-squint…
June 9th, 2006 at 2:44 pm
The parrot in the gold cloak – he reminds the Annalucia of the Tom Servo, for some reason.