Manolo for the Brides

With the exception of the fact that every gown offered is either strapless or cut down to here, Eve of Milady is alright in my book. But that’s the Eve of Milady of today. I like to look on consignment sites to see what sort of gowns former brides have put on the market. May I present, the Eve of Milady of yesteryear:

Have a closer look:

Eve of Milady gowns tend to be highly embellished, but I see that they have actually toned their style down in the past few (say, tennish?) years. I’m pretty glad that the huge lace roses and oodles of distracting sparkles that once graced the most fashionable nuptial garments have fallen out of favor. I can remember stuffing myself into dresses like that for school dances and feeling like a pig on a platter. I.e. As spruced up as all-get-out but tremendously unhappy about it.

For those with tastes that differ from my own, this gown can be had for a mere $100.

The wacky British millionaire who made headlines after she married a dolphin in 2005 is now a widow. In December, Sharon Tendler, 41, tied the knot with a male Tursiops truncatus known as Cindy, 35, after a fifteen year long friendship. Sadly, Cindy passed away on June 18…

…and like all creatures of the deep was given a burial at sea.

“Cindy swam slowly and he had problems eating. Sometimes he didn’t eat at all. He vomited and did not look good,” Maya Zilber, manager at the Eilat reef’s training center told ‘Ynetnews’.

Reef workers put Cindy’s body in a boat and sailed into the sea where they parted from it.

I, for one, hope that Tendler recovers and one day will be strong enough to search for another aquatic husband (because, hey, that’s entertainment!). Should she find a new true love, she may want to consider this cake topper from Island Wedding Shop:

According to a recent story in the New York Times, wedding guests are feeling the squeeze when it comes to nuptial gift giving.

The ceremony and attendant fetes have become an artfully disguised quid pro quo, with the couple hoping for gifts that will match what they have spent on their nuptials — and stressed-out guests who feel they have no choice but to give in to the pressure or be branded cheap or uncaring.

“We have to stop the madness,” Mr. Farley [a senior editor at Town & Country and author of "Modern Manners: The Thinking Person's Guide to Social Graces"] said. “According to the nitty-gritty rules of social etiquette, guests are not obligated to bring anything to a wedding.”

Peggy Post, author of “Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette, 5th Edition” (Collins, 2005), outright debunked “the old myth” about giving a wedding gift that is the equivalent of what the couple spent on you for the reception. “It’s about how well you know the couple and their families — and what you can afford,” she said.

THIS is especially true, both experts say, when it comes to deciding what your budget will bear when you are invited to a destination wedding, if you are a member of the wedding party or when multiple showers are involved. “Showers have gotten so huge,” Ms. Post said. “When you get into multiple showers, that’s where you can cut back on the gifts.”

Remember guys and gals, the old ‘cover the cost of the plate’ adage is a myth. Never, ever, ever feel obligated to break the bank when you’re buying wedding gifts.

I’m all for simple. But I draw the line at wedding dresses that look too much like underwear. It is possible for a dress to be too plain. Were I to witness a bride walking down the aisle in this specimen of wedding wear from the typically more elaborate Allure Bridals, my first thought would be, “What happened to your gown that forced you to get married in your slip, hon?”

If you need more convincing, note that it appears the top has molded cups rather like these:

The similarities are truly striking!

And P.S. what is up with the look on Ms. ModelBride’s face? All these wedding wear models need to go back to Barbizon or wherever it is they came from.

What’s the best way for brides-to-be to find ideas? By exploring their options, of course. The always lovely Dataceptionist has requested that I find ya’ll some good sites to peruse wedding hairstyles. Now I know there are some informative hairstyle how-to’s out there, but frankly there are also a lot of people out there (like me) who can’t even manage to braid someone’s hair. I’m of the opinion that unless a bride has long, flowing gorgeous hair that simply dazzles when unstyled, the doing of hair is best left to the pros.

But brides can still walk into the salon armed with a picture of what they want. And while it’s important to be realistic, I’m convinced that good stylists are magicians in disguise. To illustrate, long ago, when prom time came around, my hair was long on top but shaved near to bald underneath - hey, it was the 90s, cut me some slack. My mom’s stylist gave me an updo that made it look like I had a full head of hair. Furthermore, he crafted a six-petaled flower on my head…out of hair. It was amazing.

Anyway, to find examples of the hottest in wedding hair, I first did a Google image search for wedding hairstyles. That netted me 3,360 of bridal heads of all descriptions. Change that to wedding hair or bridal hair and the image count goes up to 26,700. While not all of the images are inspirational and some are just plain silly (dogs in tiaras?!), there are a wide range of bridal styles displayed in the results.

A site called simply Beautiful Hairstyles includes a wedding style gallery divided into categories such as updos and retro hairdos. While the site itself is sort of goofy, the images were for the most part culled from actual weddings. So you can see how certain hair styles look on real people rather than models.

Hairfinder, the “International Hair Directory” (whatever that means), allows you to upload a photo of yourself and virtually try on different wedding styles. There is a free demo, but in order to access Hairfinder’s database of 3,500 hairstyles, you need to pay a small fee.

There is, of course, always WeddingHair, which sells styling kits for do-it-yourselfers. If you are a bride who has absolutely no idea how she wants her hair done on her wedding day, this can be a good starting off point since the dos tend to be fairly basic. And if you want a laugh, have a look at the teen hair category - those sure don’t look like any teens I know!

While there is software such as The Perfect Wedding Series: The Beautiful Bride - HAIR out there, in the end, I say Google it. There are too many sites with three grainy pics calling themselves wedding hair resources. You may as well go right to a giant image bank that’s going to grant you the variety you need to come up with a hairstyle that meets your demands.

By the way, the fabulous Kristin sent me a link to an article that proves that spontaneity doesn’t always equal romance. Yesterday, a stark naked would-be groom jumped out of his apartment window in an effort to convince his girlfriend that taking risks (risks like getting married) is an important part of life. He ended up running from a vigilante gunman! I smell a metaphor in there somewhere…

Lovely reader Demi made me realize I have entirely ignored one aspect of the bridal ensemble. I have, at one time or another, touched on jewelry, hair, make-up, gowns (but of course), and undies. But I have never, not even once, mentioned garters. Probably because I was traumatized as a little girl when I happened to catch the bridal bouquet at a wedding, not realizing that I would then be required to sit still while a man thirty years my senior shoved a garter up to my thigh. ::SHUDDER::

Anyway, Demi presented me with a most unusual request:

My friend is getting married in September and I have been tasked with finding a University of Texas themed garter. All of the ones I have found so far are horribly tacky (cheap lace, plastic charms). Can you recommend any websites that makes elegant custom garters?

She’s right, you know. I have a theory that no one pays much attention to the quality of the garter because it’s hidden on the bride’s leg for most of the wedding and eventually comes to adorn the rear-view mirror of car of the man who catches it. Goodness knows he doesn’t care whether it’s handcrafted from fine lace and embellished with delicate beadwork. And it’s a truly archaic custom, according to Snopes, which explains that the groom’s public removal of his wife’s garter is a traditional way of announcing to all present his undisputed right by way of marriage to the use of her body. (Edit: This isn’t quite true, after all, though in some cultures a garter has represented the virginal girdle)

So, where does one procure a custom garter? One that won’t look cheap or tacky or fall apart? Unfortunately, most garter makers specialize in cheap and tacky. But some will–for a bit more money, of course–craft for you something that meets your individual needs. I have compiled a (very) short list.

Designer Marissa Toni (who is apparently much loved by celebrities like Kelly Osbourne, fashion designer Betsey Johnson, Melissa Rivers and Fergi from the Black Eyed Peas) will make you a special custom garter to highlight a special wedding day.

Hand-Crafted Creations will make you a themed garter designed to your specs. They will work with any fabrics and embellishments you send them. Such as a U. of T. jersey, perhaps?

Your Way Garters will also design a garter based on your specs. All you have to do is tell them what colors, fabrics, and so forth you’re dreaming of and they’ll think of something.

Hope this helps, Demi. Stay tuned for a post that more fully explains garter lore. Go Longhorns!

No, it’s not an invasion of vikingette hordes bent on capturing husbands. It’s the second annual Running of the Bridezillas in Time Square! On Monday, a group of twenty brides-to-be donned their wedding finery and took part in a high-stakes, bride-eat-bride footrace in New York City to mark the third season of the WE television show ‘Bridezillas’.

Winner Casey Scheulen and her fiancé Tim McGowen will receive a $25,000 dream wedding. Which is fortuitous, because Ms. Scheulen will no doubt need a new wedding dress now that hers is covered in sweat and whatever that white stuff on her husband-to-be is.

Stephen Yearick’s sophisticated beadwork will knock your socks off. While this stunning floor-length sheath dress in chiffon (in white or ivory) features only a smattering of delicate beading, many of Yearick’s creations are resplendent with elaborate beadwork.

Me? I’ve worn too many stage costumes to feel comfortable around beads. Threads break. Beads can catch on rings. Etc. But that doesn’t mean I can’t admire beautiful beadwork from afar. And drool covetously.

Speaking of admiration, I recently bought Amy Nebens’ book of Traditional Gowns. If you love the ins and outs of wedding dresses as much as I do, it makes a lovely coffee table book. As an added bonus, displaying it in a prominent spot can help you separate commitment-phobes from potential mates.

After reading about the two math geeks who wrote their own wedding vows based on Pi and Phi, I decided to check out what other geeky wedding gear there is to be had. How does one have a true geek wedding? I have three words for you: computers, Star Wars, and search engines. I guess that’s six words but never you mind. Let me just preface by saying that I’m pretty geeky but I would never try to integrate sci-fi into my wedding scheme.

But these people would! Interspecies love…is that even legal? Perhaps the klingon proposed to his puny human bride like Barry Schwartz proposed to Yisha Tversky: Via search engine. Schwartz used Ask Jeeves. He had Tversky search for her name and there above the search results was an image and the line: “Yisha, Will You Marry Me?”

Real techie types might enjoy these caketoppers from Bytes ‘n’ Grins. Or you could always top your cake with sci-fi action figures. How about Princess Leia and Han Solo? Tres romantique!

While guests examine the favors - Surfin’ the Net pasta, of course - the wedding party can go outdoors to pose for action and adventure filled wedding photos inspired by Star Wars.

There you have it. But these are only some of the elements one would need to have the ultimate geek wedding. For further advice (which I am only too unwilling to give), consult the handy, easy to follow guide, Must-Haves For Your Star Trek Wedding.