Lovely reader Demi made me realize I have entirely ignored one aspect of the bridal ensemble. I have, at one time or another, touched on jewelry, hair, make-up, gowns (but of course), and undies. But I have never, not even once, mentioned garters. Probably because I was traumatized as a little girl when I happened to catch the bridal bouquet at a wedding, not realizing that I would then be required to sit still while a man thirty years my senior shoved a garter up to my thigh. ::SHUDDER::

Anyway, Demi presented me with a most unusual request:

My friend is getting married in September and I have been tasked with finding a University of Texas themed garter. All of the ones I have found so far are horribly tacky (cheap lace, plastic charms). Can you recommend any websites that makes elegant custom garters?

She’s right, you know. I have a theory that no one pays much attention to the quality of the garter because it’s hidden on the bride’s leg for most of the wedding and eventually comes to adorn the rear-view mirror of car of the man who catches it. Goodness knows he doesn’t care whether it’s handcrafted from fine lace and embellished with delicate beadwork. And it’s a truly archaic custom, according to Snopes, which explains that the groom’s public removal of his wife’s garter is a traditional way of announcing to all present his undisputed right by way of marriage to the use of her body. (Edit: This isn’t quite true, after all, though in some cultures a garter has represented the virginal girdle)

So, where does one procure a custom garter? One that won’t look cheap or tacky or fall apart? Unfortunately, most garter makers specialize in cheap and tacky. But some will–for a bit more money, of course–craft for you something that meets your individual needs. I have compiled a (very) short list.

Designer Marissa Toni (who is apparently much loved by celebrities like Kelly Osbourne, fashion designer Betsey Johnson, Melissa Rivers and Fergi from the Black Eyed Peas) will make you a special custom garter to highlight a special wedding day.

Hand-Crafted Creations will make you a themed garter designed to your specs. They will work with any fabrics and embellishments you send them. Such as a U. of T. jersey, perhaps?

Your Way Garters will also design a garter based on your specs. All you have to do is tell them what colors, fabrics, and so forth you’re dreaming of and they’ll think of something.

Hope this helps, Demi. Stay tuned for a post that more fully explains garter lore. Go Longhorns!

No, it’s not an invasion of vikingette hordes bent on capturing husbands. It’s the second annual Running of the Bridezillas in Time Square! On Monday, a group of twenty brides-to-be donned their wedding finery and took part in a high-stakes, bride-eat-bride footrace in New York City to mark the third season of the WE television show ‘Bridezillas’.

Winner Casey Scheulen and her fiancé Tim McGowen will receive a $25,000 dream wedding. Which is fortuitous, because Ms. Scheulen will no doubt need a new wedding dress now that hers is covered in sweat and whatever that white stuff on her husband-to-be is.

Stephen Yearick’s sophisticated beadwork will knock your socks off. While this stunning floor-length sheath dress in chiffon (in white or ivory) features only a smattering of delicate beading, many of Yearick’s creations are resplendent with elaborate beadwork.

Me? I’ve worn too many stage costumes to feel comfortable around beads. Threads break. Beads can catch on rings. Etc. But that doesn’t mean I can’t admire beautiful beadwork from afar. And drool covetously.

Speaking of admiration, I recently bought Amy Nebens’ book of Traditional Gowns. If you love the ins and outs of wedding dresses as much as I do, it makes a lovely coffee table book. As an added bonus, displaying it in a prominent spot can help you separate commitment-phobes from potential mates.

After reading about the two math geeks who wrote their own wedding vows based on Pi and Phi, I decided to check out what other geeky wedding gear there is to be had. How does one have a true geek wedding? I have three words for you: computers, Star Wars, and search engines. I guess that’s six words but never you mind. Let me just preface by saying that I’m pretty geeky but I would never try to integrate sci-fi into my wedding scheme.

But these people would! Interspecies love…is that even legal? Perhaps the klingon proposed to his puny human bride like Barry Schwartz proposed to Yisha Tversky: Via search engine. Schwartz used Ask Jeeves. He had Tversky search for her name and there above the search results was an image and the line: “Yisha, Will You Marry Me?”

Real techie types might enjoy these caketoppers from Bytes ‘n’ Grins. Or you could always top your cake with sci-fi action figures. How about Princess Leia and Han Solo? Tres romantique!

While guests examine the favors – Surfin’ the Net pasta, of course – the wedding party can go outdoors to pose for action and adventure filled wedding photos inspired by Star Wars.

There you have it. But these are only some of the elements one would need to have the ultimate geek wedding. For further advice (which I am only too unwilling to give), consult the handy, easy to follow guide, Must-Haves For Your Star Trek Wedding.

If you’re a bride looking for a dress and simply can’t find exactly what you want (or a bride looking for the right attendant’s dresses), check out Dress By Design. In just three easy steps, you can create a dress as unique as you are. There are five main patterns to choose from that can be modified with seven neckline styles and six sleeve styles. They offer a TON of plain and patterned fabrics, and you can even choose between standard sizes and a custom fit!

Okay, so we all know that including pets in weddings is kind of silly. And pets up the potential for nuptial snafus. But sometimes getting hitched with animals in tow can go off…without a hitch. And if pets are going to participate, they ought to look the part, no? Everyone knows that you can buy little tuxedos and wedding gowns for canines, and little veils for felines (though how you’d keep that on your cat’s head, I’ll never know). But a quick search reveals that the range of animal formalwear goes well beyond cats and dogs.

A company called Cuddly Cavies will help your Guinea pigs tie the knot in style. For a mere $13, they will hand sew a tiny tux or wedding gown. I’m sure the people who buy these are not weird at all. No really.

A live ferret is as good as a fur muff, I always say. The well-dressed ferret can be trained to hop down the aisle with a ringbearers’ pillow strapped to its back. But once it gets there, how do you keep it from nipping at the bridesmaids’ exposed toes? Ask Pet Chauffeur, which markets this little tux…to the myriad people who need ferret tuxedos.

Parrots make lousy guests – no doubt you can imagine why. Wedding ceremonies go on long enough without everyone having to hear everything twice. But, if you simply insist on having Polly look on while you say your vows, why not dress her in a gown that will make people sit up and take notice. Metallics are hot right now. *BRAWK!* Metallics are hot right now.

Even the well-dressed hamster can get in on the act! Of course, it’s easier to tape little hats to their heads than to keep them from wriggling out of silk sheath dresses.

Reader Jessica (who is absolutely fabulous, by the way, and has a gorgeous engagement ring) recently posed a question, which I will summarize here. She asked, “What’s up with favors?” What is up, indeed. I have attended weddings where packets of nasty, chalky Jordan almonds were haphazardly strewn on the reception tables. I have come home with commemorative matchbooks emblazoned with the names of the newly married, tacky porcelain baskets filled with faux rose petals, and handfuls of those luscious cherry Hershey’s Kisses.

Though I’ve never attended a wedding expecting to receive a favor (and neither should anyone else, for that matter), wedding favors can be a lovely treat. To clarify, favors are great when they actually are great. To some future brides and grooms, favors are an important part of the wedding. To others, favors are nothing but an afterthought. I’d rather see the latter nix the favors altogether and spend that money on what they do feel is important, like food, music, decor, or location. That is the secret to hosting spectacular weddings, by the way – spending money on the elements important to you and axing the rest.

So, favors. No one knows how the tradition of giving guests a little something to take home started, but the theory is that the practice as we know it today began with ancient European aristocrats who would give bombonieres (i.e. boxes of stuff) made out of gold, silver, precious gems, crystal, or something equally pricey to their party guests. Sugar or sugary snacks were the ‘stuff’ of choice. As weddings were seen as particularly lucky occasions, brides and grooms gave their guests bombonieres as a symbolic means of passing some of their luck on to others.

With the evolution of the tradition, favors came to represent not only luck, but also health, wealth, fertility, happiness, and a long life. While many of us think picture frames, candy, matchbooks, and figurines when we think favors, cultures around the world have put their own spin on the practice of giving guests something to take home. In Korea, guests are often presented with pretty painted ducks representing the bride and groom.

Jennifer Baumann, editor of the Wedding Gazette, has compiled a short list of cultural favor traditions.

• In Malaysian culture, the traditional wedding favor is painted, decorated eggs – a symbol of fertility for the couple.
• Orange blossoms are very popular for Spanish weddings. A perfect favor would be stems of orange blossoms in a bud vase for each guest.
• Turn a Greek wedding tradition around on your guests: the couple used to receive glass charms in the shape of an eye on their wedding day – this was to protect them from bad luck.
• Dutch favor tradition includes “Bridal Sugar” – five pieces of Dutch sweet candy wrapped in tulle. Each piece represents the five wedding wishes: love, happiness, loyalty, prosperity, and virility. Very similar to other cultures’ wedding wishes.

If you’re not enthralled by wedding favors, don’t fret. It’s perfectly acceptable to use the cash you would have spent on favors to treat your guests to a great meal or an evening’s worth of well-played dance favorites. After all, good memories make the best mementoes.