Get your nuptial kook on
By Never teh Bride
What do you do when your veil explodes? I mean, what DO you DO? Judging by the model’s befuddled expression, she doesn’t know either.
This fantasy wedding dress by Montreal designer, Rya Soleil (for Fairy Fashion), is just a little busy. But I bet my kid sisters would love it.
Finally, a wedding dress that covers the bride during the ceremony and reception, then covers the groom during the honeymoon.
While you’re digesting these dresses, go take a look at this lengthy list of inappropriate wedding songs. Then come back and tell me what *you* think the most tasteless wedding song ever is.
July 21st, 2006 at 3:44 pm
I cannot believe nobody thought of the classic J. Geils Band anthem Love Stinks! Or how about Torn Between Two Lovers? Most love songs by Warren Zevon would also be bad choices. Most of them are about really twisted or broken relationships.
Don’t recall the name of the band, but I heard this great one by an all-girl group. The song was called Pearls Before Swine. I think the chorus needs immortalizing here:
I guess I throw my pearls at swine
I do it every time
I must be blind
It blows my mind
The way I throw my pearls at swine
And of course there’s always the Dixie Chicks’ Goodbye Earl.
That condom dress kind of rocks my world, though. Must be all the pretty, candystore colors.
July 21st, 2006 at 4:30 pm
I looooooooove Goodbye Earl! Um, not for a wedding, of course
July 21st, 2006 at 6:50 pm
McArthur Park by Richard Harris
http://users.cis.net/sammy/mcarthur.htm
I once saw a wedding video on one of those “weird wedding” shows where the bride sang it running all around the hall.
_____________________
Spring was never waiting for us, girl
It ran one step ahead
As we followed in the dance
Between the parted pages and were pressed
In love’s hot, fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants
MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don’t think that I can take it
‘Cause it took so long to bake it
And I’ll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!
_____________________
Wait wait, just in case you mised it the first time, that line was “In love’s hot, fevered iron, LIKE A STRIPED PAIR OF PANTS”
Someone really needs to get their metaphor/simile license revoked…
July 21st, 2006 at 6:51 pm
OK, there’s inappropriate songs to be played at a wedding, and songs that should be inappropriate to play at a wedding but are anyway! I’ve never heard of a wedding where the bride danced to her father to Detachable Penis but it sounds like a pretty good time right off the bat!
July 21st, 2006 at 8:57 pm
Blackeyed Peas - My Humps
but that is always an inappropriate song…
One amusing one I hasve heard is “Pictures of You” by the Cure, but what can you say… “My Humps” has real bad wedding possibilities
July 21st, 2006 at 10:22 pm
NtB have you checked out the Spirit Fingers HK wedding specials?
http://facepalm.blogspot.com/2004/12/hk-bridal-special-chapter-1.html
http://facepalm.blogspot.com/2005/01/hk-bridal-special-chapter-2.html
http://facepalm.blogspot.com/2005/03/hk-bridal-special-chapter-3.html
http://facepalm.blogspot.com/2005/03/hk-bridal-special-chapter-4.html
http://facepalm.blogspot.com/2005/05/hk-bridal-special-chapter-5.html
July 21st, 2006 at 11:10 pm
Whoa, thanks for the links, Ninjarina! Those are some crazy dang dresses!
July 21st, 2006 at 11:39 pm
The worst song I can imagine playing at a wedding I actually *did* hear played:
“Gonna Getcha’ Good” by Shania Twain
For those not familiar, she sings about how she will get this man any way she can. It was in extra poor taste because a) everyone knew the bride was pregnant and b) the DJ played it as the couple’s FIRST DANCE SONG instead of their requested “Forever and For Always.” Imagine the mortified couple, all alone on the dance floor, frozen in acute agony. The DJ explained later that he downloaded it off the internet and it was mislabeled. Yeah, that makes it and the fact that you were too busy eating to notice them not dancing *all better* - ouch.
July 22nd, 2006 at 1:57 am
Wow, Ninjarina, those were just…I’m speechless. As you may have guessed, that takes some doing.
The Titanic cake really takes the, well, cake.
Oh, and the discussion of bad bridal music reminds me of the wedding where I had to cover a fit of hysterical laughter with a bad rendition of a coughing fit. Why? Because the tune the organist butchered as the groom and his attendants entered was Send In The Clowns!
July 22nd, 2006 at 8:37 pm
That’s some serious wickety-wack on them there gowns!
July 24th, 2006 at 10:35 am
My parents’ friends played “Yesterday” by the Beatles at their wedding (in a joking manner, of course). “Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, now it looks as though they’re here to stay…”
Another song I’ve heard at weddings that always makes me a little uncomfortable is “I’ll Cover You” from Rent. The lyrics are beautiful and all, but Collins sings that at his lover’s funeral. So… it’s a little creepy to me.
July 24th, 2006 at 10:50 am
My fiance keeps threatening to have the DJ play “Why Don’t We Do It in the Road” off the Beatle’s White Album. I’ve told him absolutely not. His mother said ‘Good song. Play it and I kill you.’ I think he’s threatening just to get a rise out of me….
He also wants to play The Who’s “My Wife” at some point, because he thinks it’d be funny.
For us personally, “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” is never, ever being played near our wedding, either. Great song, but FH teaches high school. Bad song to play.
July 24th, 2006 at 2:33 pm
My vote (much belated) is ‘Dress Sexy At My Funeral” by Smog!
July 25th, 2006 at 1:09 am
My fiancee keeps joking about wanting to play “Eye of the Tiger” (not sure if that’s an Aussie song though). My vote “I want to make you sweat” by UB40
-Girl I want to make you sweat
-Sweat till you can’t sweat no more
-And if you cry out
-I’m gonna push it some, mo-o-ore
Ewwwwww
July 26th, 2006 at 9:16 am
I think that David Lee Roth’s, “Medley: Just a Gigolo/I Ain’t Got Nobody”
is by far the worse song to play at a wedding…
I mean .. come on!!
July 26th, 2006 at 4:25 pm
The worst songs?
My SIL had her 9-year-old daughter sing “My Heart Will Go On”. She missed a few notes, and was off-tune the whole way.
Bad Songs:
I Don’t Know How To Love Him
Fool For Your Lovin’
July 31st, 2006 at 5:59 pm
There’s always “She’s no Lady; She’s my Wife”…ouch