Well, I’m sure we all know by now that guests are under no obligation to give a newlywed couple a gift that is equal in monetary value to the cost of one or two plates at the reception dinner. In fact, guests are under no obligation to give brides and grooms any gift at all – though it’s not nice to abstain.
Neither is it appropriate to ask for money or specify that it will be a wishing well wedding in your wedding invitations. It’s alright to have a card catcher at the reception but you should never expect people will feel inclined to include cash with their cards.
Can you tell I’m still in an etiquette centered frame of mind?
Luckily, the rules for guests when it comes to gift giving are relatively simple. Guests should send their gifts ahead to the residence of the MOB and FOB or to the home of the bride- and groom-to-be. Likewise, gifts can arrive just after the invitation is received or a bit after the wedding has taken place.
Guests who want to know if or where the couple might be registered can ask someone in the wedding party, a relative of the couple getting married, or individuals who are helping out with the planning. But, according to Beau Coup (and Miss Manners), choosing not to utilize the registry is in no way unmannerly.
Some people may still prefer the element of surprise when giving a gift, or might have something personal in mind to give to the couple. A gift should be a token of affection, and is not intended to pay for the wedding. However, to not send a gift altogether is in poor taste. Depending on your relationship with the couple, the gift can be small, or something more substantial.
As you can no doubt imagine, cookbooks, like Everyday Italian: 125 Simple and Delicious Recipes, remain a popular choice.