Comments on: Gifting for guests

By: Mary

Mary — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 18:47:37 +0000

I have to disagree in that I believe gifts are an obligatory part of being a wedding guest.

By: WashingtonBaby

WashingtonBaby — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 02:41:49 +0000

What about those of us who can’t afford the usual kitchen gadgets and things? I’ve been to plenty of weddings where the stuff on the registry was waaaay out of my price range.

By: Ramirez

Ramirez — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 10:55:06 +0000

How about talking about men’s shoes sometime?

By: Alexander

Alexander — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 06:50:02 +0000

Any advice for the MOG??????

By: Ninjarina

Ninjarina — Sat, 02 Sep 2006 10:44:58 +0000

NtB: I asked my mom and dad what Chinese traditions are like b/c I distinctly remember our family always giving red envelopes of lucky money to the designated “greeters” of guests at the wedding banquet, typically a close family member/best man/maid of honor. We do not give gifts b/c the MOB usually includes everyday dinnerware, kitchen stuff, bed linens and things for her daughter.

It’s tradition for us and it’s expected that lucky money be given to the couple but NEVER EVER EVER mentioned on an invitation. I think you’ve written about the delicate issue of weddings and guest contributions before; I swear I read an entry on the dollar dance.

By: alphagal

alphagal — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 20:34:51 +0000

Oh, I can’t stand to get panhandling invitations: for weddings, graduations, baby announcements, etc. but I do get them from time to time. There’s one exception that, for some reason, doesn’t bother me. Although I do wonder what Miss Manners would think of it:

This usually goes with funerals, but I once saw it on a wedding invitation as well– asking that, in lieu of gifts, a donation be made to ____ (charity of your choice, local library, charity of their choice, etc.).

It seems appropriate for funerals, but my jury’s out on the wedding thing as it sounds like asking for money.

By: Motormouth

Motormouth — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 19:12:22 +0000

The last “give us money for a house” wedding invitation I recieved? The couple broke off their engagement. Hmmm…..

By: Never teh Bride

Never teh Bride — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 18:26:22 +0000

I’ll check the bridal section of the Miss Manners book, Jezebella. But I’ll bet she does agree with you.

By: Twistie

Twistie — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 16:32:35 +0000

Some of the best wedding gifts I got were nothing I could have registered for. My great aunt sent a piece of her mother’s silver to me (that’s the great-grandmother I was named for, incidentally), a good friend stitched us a needlepoint canvas with our names and wedding date on it, my MOH picked got a print by a local artist we both liked - and who had been a friend of my mother’s - and framed it for us, another friend who is a talented artist in his own right gave us one of his paitings…these are especially precious.

I treasure the things people got us from the registry, of course. Good cookware, eight settings of good stainless flatware, the towels that are still (mostly) going strong thirteen years later, all those basic, practical items that have helped us in our lives together. But the ones that are just a bit more personal…those have a special place in my heart.

IOW, don’t be afraid to go off-register. The registry is simply a wish list, and sometimes we don’t know what it is we need the most.

By: Dataceptionist

Dataceptionist — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 02:35:37 +0000

on the topic of registries particularly, we’re going to a friends wedding in a few weeks and apparently the bride has listed a whole heap of things for her family as she has no need for them.
They told her to register for approximately 400 items due to the size of the guest list but when they had trouble picking that many things she simply asked her brother if he needed anything!!! Now I know that I feel like buying her something terribly hideous just so I know at least it won’t go to anyone else!