A good rule of thumb is: Never piss off the people who have the power to make or break your wedding. And that rule of thumb should always be paired with this powerful piece of wisdom: Get it in writing. The reason these bromides go hand in hand is that vendors deal with a lot of clients, and it’s easy to confuse smoked turkey with smoked salmon, or daisies with dahlias.

If you’ve covered your butt with a well-drawn vendor contract, you don’t have to risk the ire of caterers, photographers, bakers, or florists who assume you’re just prone to changing your mind when you politely remind them that yours is a 200-person wedding on May 19, not a 60-person wedding on June 19.

Many brides- and grooms-to-be have never seen a contract up close in their lives, however. I remember reading through my first-ever work contract and being stymied by the legalese. Later, I learned that a lot of the jive talk is incidental in contracts. What is more important is that certain elements are mentioned in the contract. These include:

• The company name, address, and phone number of the vendor
• The name of the person (or people) who will actually be performing the service
• The full names of the bride and groom
• The date, time, and location of both the wedding and reception, as well as the set-up time and break-down time
• The price, including taxes and gratuities, with both packages, individual items, and additional fees listed
• The amount of the total price that can be refunded in case of cancellation
• The payment schedule and payment policies
• And the precise services or products being provided should be specified, in as much detail as possible, including those items that are deliverable after the wedding (e.g. photos)

No doubt everyone knows by know that reading the fine print is obligatory. Many brides- and grooms-to-be don’t, however, know to pay all deposits with a credit card in case of a breech of contract. It’s way easier to alert your credit card of a fraudulent claim than to track down a bad vendor that’s gone AWOL. You can see a sample contract here, courtesy of The Dream Maker wedding planners. For more specific information regarding individual contracts, check out WeddingChannel’s comprehensive list of ‘what to include’s.’

And remember, when dealing with wedding vendors, courtesy and respect are always in style.

The always fab Dataceptionist sent me a fabulous joke this morning and being that I am absolutely fascinated by the way divorced family units interact (coming from one myself), I just have to share it:

Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement — not even her parents’ nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer asked her to exchange it, but she refused. “Absolutely not”. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,” she replied.

Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, “Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.”

A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, “Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.”

Her mother just smiled and replied, “Of course I do, dear. I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.

ZING! I sure hope that crafty mama really sparkled on her daughter’s wedding day, don’t you? She couldn’t go wrong with the sophisticated sage Cachet dress with beaded jacket above.

It’s time to touch on a topic that’s, well, touchy. In the western/Christian tradition, it’s the father of the bride who has the honor of walking his little girl down the aisle. And goodness forbid anyone suggest anyone do anything different. Tempers can flare. Feelings are hurt.

But the truth of the matter is that many ‘little girls’ are actually grown, liberated women who don’t feel like being “given away.” Some blushing brides were raised by mothers, or feel closer to stepdads, grandparents, siblings, or other relatives than they do to their fathers. Others don’t necessarily want to participate in what they see as an inappropriate patriarchal tradition.

Like most things in life, however, there is more than one way to walk down the aisle.

In Jewish weddings, the bride (or kallah) is escorted down the aisle by both her parents and the groom (or chatan) is escorted by his parents. Personally, I think that’s super cool. To stave off fatherly resentment if you suggest this option, just gush about the beauty of the tradition.

There is no hard and fast rule stating that a bride must be accompanied down the aisle or given away. Consider strutting your stuff solo if you have a surplus of close relatives and don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by leaving them out. If you suggest this option, be sure all the people closest to you are seated up front and are given a bit of something special (like a corsage or boutonniere) to wear.

Bio parents and step parents can all get into the act when you go halvsies with them. You may be able to avoid offending or excluding anyone by dividing the nuptial aisle into segments. Mom can walk you halfway and then dad can walk you the rest of the way. Or you can go with any combination of folks and number of segments, really. Of course, your loved ones can still cause a ruckus by protesting their places in the walking order.

Finally, brides may want to meet their grooms (who are presumably poised and ready) halfway down the aisle. This option is becoming more and more popular, especially now that plenty of couples are hosting their own weddings. I like it because it is symbolic of the bride and groom beginning their lives together. YMMV.

Remember, folks, when it comes right down to it, it’s your wedding and you should do what will make you happy. Your loved ones will understand your aisle walking preference, provided you explain it to them kindly. Or you could buy them each a copy of A Walk Down the Aisle: Notes on a Modern Wedding, which outlines wedding customs of many eras and cultures and “slyly educates readers about the traditions that many Americans continually embrace without fully understanding.”

Okay. Glad that’s over with. Now that we all know how to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings during the ceremony, maybe it’s time to consider reception seating. Oy!

Love DIY but want someone to help you with the work? Can’t center a page to save your life? Fear that you and your fiance will ruin two hundred expensive handmade invitations by trying to print them yourself? Gartner Studios claims to have the answer. With more than seventy different uPrint invitation kits (including handmade, embossed, and floral papers), not to mention DIY favor tags and place cards, brides- and grooms-to-be are sure to find something they like.

Now, personally, the idea of printing my own invitations for anything scares the heck out of me. When the text doesn’t line up on my printer paper, I get *this close* to having a heart attack. But I had a bit of a look around Gartner Studio’s web site (and their uPrint studio area) and found out that for almost every product they sell, they include a Word file template that corresponds to each element of the invitations, from response cards to reception cards. That means no worrying about lining up text, fitting it to the page, or costly mishaps.

This is good news for clutzy, easily-frustrated people like myself! In fact, their commercial really hits a little too close to home:

P.S. – Word on the street is that Madonna put her £170,000 tiara she wore while wedding Guy Ritchie up for auction on EBAY. The proceeds from the auction, which ended on September 1, would have gone to benefit victims of Hurricane Katrina. Unfortunately, no one bid the requisite $225,000.

One of the issues that makes it difficult to express individuality in all areas of wedding planning is that guests have tastes, too. While no bride should spend more than a moment wondering what grouchy Uncle Ernie will think of her dress, she and her groom-to-be should consider whether the majority of her guests will enjoy platefuls of strong curry or a cake flavored with straight Grand Marnier. I mean, hey, guests gotta eat, know what I’m saying?

Still, once food allergies and such have been noted, there is no reason not to get creative where cake are concerned. I understand that you can’t go wrong with bland vanilla and uninspired chocolate cake, but at the same time, people do not need cake to survive. While I see compelling evidence to suggest that ensuring that guests get something to eat is an important part of any wedding that occurs during mealtimes, I say, “Let them not eat cake!”

If they don’t like the flavor, that is. Teresa Palko, a cake artisan located in Merritt Island, Florida will make you a gorgeous cake in flavors like white chocolate, red velvet, Chambord, Framboise, Frangelico, and Amaretto. And she’ll fill it with good stuff like white chocolate buttercream, white chocolate ganache, lemon cream, cream cheese, or chocolate peanut butter cream cheese. Y-U-M.

By all means, brides and grooms, provide a fruit plate, chocolate dipped strawberries, or biscotti if you are afraid people won’t dig into your cake with gusto. Or serve a subdued groom’s cake on the side. But don’t hold yourself back! Get creative!

Stay tuned for a review of the wedding I attended this past weekend!

In case any of you folks missed it, check out the winners of Cheap Chic Wedding’s 2006 Toilet Paper Wedding Dress Contest. Though some of the dresses featured have obviously been crafted out of TP, a few look like they belong in the pages of Modern Bride. I can’t even figure out how the winning dress (lovingly designed by Stephanie Stutzenberger of Cumming, Ga.) was put together, as it looks relatively seamless. Glue? Paste? We may never know.

Erin, over at A Dress A Day, had some wonderful things to say about Hanah Kim, whose elaborate TP creation won second place.

In the “just because it’s costly and has a designer tag doesn’t means it’s necessarily nice” category of gowns, we have this satin, chiffon, silk, and tulle number from Monique Lhuillier. Here’s a thought: When your key wedding gown embellishments outnumber your key wedding guests, you have a problem.