Comments on: RSVP: Not optional

By: Never teh Bride

Never teh Bride — Mon, 22 Jan 2007 18:55:20 +0000

Wow, Darkeyedgirl, I have to commend you for taking your situation so well. I know plenty of people (myself included) who would be on the warpath. Good luck and congrats!

By: Darkeyedgirl

Darkeyedgirl — Mon, 22 Jan 2007 17:41:27 +0000

Interesting. We sent our invitations out just after Christmas, our wedding is February 10. I am astounded as our response date of Jan 20 has come and gone and we are missing 2/3 of the response cards. I have followed up either “in person” or via phone with some; others, I’ve sent emails. Yes, emailS, plural. Nothing in return. The weird part? Some of those “ignorers” were people who were ecstatic when we got engaged in March of last year, who said they just loved the Save The Dates we sent out in August, who said they’d not miss it for the world. Yet: the are ignoring our attempts (very kind attempts as I have not used cuss words in the emails or vmails) to TRY to get them to respond with a Y or N. I don’t understand it and never will. All it takes is checking off a box, putting the response card into the SASE, and putting it into that box thingy stuck in the ground out front of your house. Or; hit REPLY in the email and say “sorry but I’m a N”. At this point it is not a “head count” but a “body count”. We’re not a violent Bride & Groom, just disappointed in society the lack of etiquette. On the bright side: we know who are friends are, and who are friends aren’t. Getting married surely shows you that!

By: Rsue

Rsue — Tue, 17 Oct 2006 20:41:39 +0000

I totally sympathize. We are getting married in two weeks and we had to call and send emails to people who never responded. These are people who we thought for sure would be there. I never knew it, but I guess weddings tend to bring out the true colors in people!

By: Never teh Bride

Never teh Bride — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 22:05:21 +0000

Good point, Anonymous! There are responsibilities that need to be addressed on both sides of the nuptial head table. Thank you notes are also “not optional!”

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 04:54:46 +0000

A related point from another perspective: I’ve attended a good number of weddings in the last few years — often going to considerable expense to travel and provide a gift for the couple — and it seems thank-you notes are about as popular as RSVPing. It’s enough to make me say COME ON, FOLKS, AIN’T YOU HOUSEBROKEN?

By: charlene

charlene — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:52:14 +0000

heh Kai Jones. We actually did something milder but similar for our rehearsal dinner (to which all out-of-town guests were invited) — we told them where it was, but that they had to respond to get directions.

Not everyone responded, but no one who didn’t respond showed up

By: Dataceptionist

Dataceptionist — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 23:24:06 +0000

that’s awesome, but I don’t think I’d have the chutzpah to pull it off.
We actually gave a really short RSVP date on ours, about two and a half weeks from invitations being sent, to leave lots of chasing up time. As it stands we’re 24 days out, catering needs numbers 2 weeks before the day and we’re only waiting on two couples, one of which are agonising about which wedding to attend, ours or a close childhood friend. H2B’s mother did lots of menacing on her side from what I understand though LOL.

By: Twistie

Twistie — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 22:59:33 +0000

Kai Jones, you are my new bitch goddess. (bows down)

By: Never teh Bride

Never teh Bride — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 22:05:12 +0000

You are truly devious, Kai Jones. Devious and fabulous.

By: Kai Jones

Kai Jones — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 20:03:53 +0000

How about an entirely different tack: don’t include the location on the invitations. Send it only to the people who have responded.

“If you can make it let us know and we’ll tell you where to come!” I love the idea of the resentment that would stimulate. You’d have to at least name the city, but you don’t have to give the name and address of the venue (church or whatever).