So my cat spills an entire glass of water over my computer peripherals as I’m reading the horror story boards over on Indie Bride yesterday. No kidding. Which means that I’m typing this…slowly…on my laptop’s keyboard, and killing my wrists in the process. Anyway, you may already know this, but the Indie Bride horror story boards are addictive. They are also dangerous. I am now convinced that my seamstress will destroy my gown, the food won’t show up, and my oddest family members will spew out cringe-worthy one liners all throughout my reception.

I need some comic relief…so here is a collection of nutty garters for ya’ll to laugh at. I am lucky enough to have a good friend who is handy with a needle, and she was kind enough to make me the world’s most beautiful tussah silk garter. I will take a photo soon. Until then, enjoy!

For the Marine:


For the fisherwoman who is also in the military:


For the farmin’ gal:


And let’s not forget the “ladies” of Hooters:


As an aside, I was talking to The Beard about how all of the themed garters out there are made with men in mind, and he said something like, “I’ve always thought that garters tended to have male-oriented themes because they are symbolic of the husband taking ownership of his wife sexually.” Then I burst out with, “What, the garter is a truck stop on the way to the va-jay-jay?” I am so not ready for Monday.

Kirk says: I have no idea how widespread the tradition, or knowledge of, the high school prom garter dance is. I wrote it up a bit on my site. Looking back on it now, and having been to a few more weddings, it seems retroactively really surreal, especially how it’s done in big rows of gals.

I was totally unfamiliar with this concept, but it sure explains why so many garter listings online read ‘Wedding/Prom Garter.’

6 Responses to “Garterama!”

  1. JaneC says:

    I love the John Deere garter! If I were a farm girl or marrying a farmer, I would totally wear that.

  2. Twistie says:

    The scary thing is, I’ve seen pictures of bridesmaids dressed in John Deere-themed attire. And I thought I had it bad with dusty rose lace and a huge poofy skirt that one time!

  3. You’ve really got to warm us to put the beverage down before reading something like this. Why? I just completely sprayed my monitor with coffee.

  4. Dianasaur says:

    I have never heard of the prom garter dance. Is that normal? Is it a mainland thing?

  5. raincoaster says:

    Yes, the garter is a pitstop on the highway to the va-jay-jay.

    How I wish I’d seen this yesterday. We were quite flabbergasted to hear of the prom garter dance tradition. Yet another reason to send the femisprogs to all-girl schools.

  6. Veronica says:

    Hi, I really like the garters above. I found some nice ones at Coqui Lingerie.

    I still don’t understand the difference from a prom garter and a wedding one.