Is he a keeper? If not, throw him back!

Here we have another déclassé cake topper in a long line of déclassé cake toppers:

A wedgie -- every groom's secret desire?

First off, just what sort of bait does one use to reel in a man already wearing a tuxedo? All I see in her bait basket are flowers, and that’s certainly not what I’d use. While this could be a cute topper for couples into fishing, it misses the mark because it’s obvious that the tiny groom is desperate to become the “one that got away.”

That aside, however, I am intrigued by the use of bundles of iced cookies in place of the traditional wedding cake. I like cake, but that doesn’t mean I’m not ready to scarf down a handful of well-baked cookies at a moment’s notice.

15 Responses to “Is he a keeper? If not, throw him back!”

  1. Pencils says:

    I don’t understand those cake toppers. I mean, yes, I “understand” them, but I don’t understand why anyone would want one on top of their wedding cake. At the rehearsal, it might be funny for the right couple. On your wedding day? I’ve discussed this on forums with other brides, asking why they wanted their guests to think that the groom had to be dragged to the wedding, and was told “but that doesn’t mean *us*!” Uh, who else is the little bride and groom on top of the cake supposed to be at *your* wedding? I also don’t understand the popular one where the groom is on top of the cake, reaching down, and the bride is on a lower tier, needing to be pulled up. Are you telling your guests that this is an unequal partnership and the bride needs help? I was also told “it’s just cute, you’re reading into it!” Well, when it’s a little bride and groom, again, yes, I think it represents the couple being married. (Also I don’t think it’s cute.) Do people just not think? Of course, our cake topper had two lovebirds inside a little flower-bedecked cage, but I like to think that the cage represents marriage and that we’re happy living in it. 😉

  2. Twistie says:

    So with you, Pencils. Who the hell buys these things? Why?

    I think the only cake topper I’ve seen that I liked was one of Shrek and Fiona…and even then the couple were disappointed that they couldn’t find a figure of Ogre!Fiona. It really said they accepted and loved each other, warts and all. Plus the bride is a seriously kick-butt kind of lady. I would NOT want to mess with her. It really did seem to sum them up nicely.

    But one that implies that the groom has to be coerced into marriage? One that emphasizes the ‘helplessness’ of the bride? No freaking way.

    The iced cookies, though, I’m absolutely in favor of those! They look yummy.

  3. Blake says:

    You’ve seen these used at real weddings?

  4. Never teh Bride says:

    Indeed, Blake. My aunt was married to a guy for just under a year before deciding to move on… we weren’t too surprised considering that her cake topper was a bride dragging the groom to the altar!

  5. ;O says:

    Initially, I thought it was a bride whipping her groom. Kinky, I thought. Then I woke up a bit more and realized it was just fishing. 🙁

  6. Tk says:

    I am not a cake-toppers fan in general (cupcakes for me!) though I think an alternative explanation for the groom-helping-the-bride climb one is that they are partners who will help each other overcome challenges in life, not that the bride is inferior. It certainly seems more positive than the “forced to the altar, ball n chain” ones, which always struck me as *maybe* only cute at a bachlor/ette party.

  7. jwh says:

    interesting spin on the cake topper

  8. rxl says:

    When Ryan and I got married, we used a hallmark christmas ornament that had two foxes snuggling on a log. we’re both redheaded (and foxy!), so it worked.
    he wanted to used boba fett and princess leia, I wanted Duke and the Baroness (from GI Joe) so I think our compromise worked.

  9. Poochie says:

    I think they are all tacky tacky tacky. I just made a wedding cake for a friends wedding last night (I am not a professional baker, btw) and they had the lovely idea of having a combined monogram as their topper. So I made a large scripted “L” and then an “A” for the groom and a “C” for the bride. They stood up on the top of the cake. Everything was in white so it actually ended up looking elegeant.

    Unfortunately we had to leave before the cake was cut – I just hope they didn’t smush cake in each others face. I hate that.


  10. KateriBella says:

    That’s why we picked out our wedding cake topper. I didn’t want little couples…or birds…or one of the hokey ones like above. He actually picked ours out. Got it at Hallmark. White ceramic and you can’t tell where the groom ends and the bride begins…very lovely and classic. I even think the name of it is “Love.”

  11. Pencils says:

    TK–I do understand about the groom and bride “helping each other” topper, but my feminist soul gets riled up at the sight of the woman in the subordinate position. How about the bride on top, helping the groom up? 😉 The monogram ones, especially when covered in crystals, seem to be very popular at the moment. They can be quite elegant, if done nicely, but as I didn’t change my name, I didn’t want to have to put our first initials with an ampersand. And KateriBella–I know the ones you mean, but I have to admit that they creep me out, the ones where the bride and groom are sort of melting into each other. But then I saw some bad science fiction movie with a scene like that once….

  12. Ninjarina says:

    Tk – The one you described is great! I sort of agree with Pencils but I’m too much of a traditionalist – my husband would not be much of a husband if I was supporting him. It’s more of a saving face thing: behind every successful man is an equally intelligent (if not shrewd) woman. The man may get the credit but everyone knows he would not be where he is today if not for the support of his wife. Alas, society is not set up for women to get the glory but I think anyone with half a brain knows who really holds the power.

    Pencils, the wedding day is so centred on the beautiful bride so why not let the man get in on the action, even if it is just symbolism on a cake? After all, getting married and going on to support a wife and family is quite the noble endeavor.

  13. Ninjarina says:

    also, is that Tiffany blue I spy on the cookies?

  14. anonymous coward says:

    The best cake topper I ever saw: tiny plastic motorcycle, with one little butch hand-knit monkey, and one little femme hand-knit monkey. The couple switched driver/passenger partway through the reception — extremely cute.