Is it cold in here, or is it just you?

At some point in history, nipples ceased to exist. All right, we all still have nipples, but it’s apparently de rigueur nowadays to use all sorts of devices to feign niplessness. Wearing something slinky and sleek on your wedding day? Better hope it’s warm where you’re headed. If not, brace yourself for comments about leaving the headlights on and Tic Tacs. Or buy yourself some Nippies

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Nippies for brides are lacy, sparkly, or satiny fabric appliqu├ęs that stick right to your nips so you can wear barely there fashions without letting people know that you are secretly in possession of (gasp) nipples. Safe medical adhesives ensure six to eight hours of sticktoitiveness, whether you’re walking down the aisle or getting your freak on on the dance floor.

It beats having to bust out the band aids, I guess.

9 Responses to “Is it cold in here, or is it just you?”

  1. Sarah says:

    I totally don’t get the nipple freakout. Anytime someone has pointed them out to me, I’ve said something to the efect of “What? You know I *have* them! What’s the big deal?”

  2. Never teh Bride says:

    **puts Sarah on the ‘has nipples’ list**

  3. abby says:

    for me, it’s not so much that i hope people won’t realize i came equipped with nipples as that when they’re standing at attention, as it were, they rub against my clothes and get raw and sore. a bandaid, or a classy heart-shaped… thing, stays in the same place, so i don’t end up in pain for a little headlight action.

  4. Never teh Bride says:

    Ouch!

  5. Dianasaur says:

    For me it’s that they draw attention. I don’t want anyone’s attention there but my husband!

  6. Never teh Bride says:

    You make a good point, Dianasaur. It’s not so nice to have uninvited eyes following your every move…

  7. Twistie says:

    I’m with Sarah. I have nipples and I am unashamed!

    Though I can understand Abby’s dilemma and have no trouble at all with the idea of someone wanting to turn down the high beams as a comfort or chafing issue.

    Then again, there was so much ruching and lace on the bodice of my wedding gown there was absolutely no fear of anyone discovering to their embarrassment that I have nipples…and the slip underneath prevented any chafing action.

    TMI? Meh. As long as you respect me in the morning, I’m okay.

  8. la petite chou chou says:

    I have to wear a bra….to give me the womanly figure.

  9. amy says:

    what i don’t understand is why they have to be named after Madonna songs…