Remember, way back in the day, when I was clearing out my inbox? Well it’s that time again, which means that I’m going to be featuring questions you’ve asked, products you’ve recommended, and funny stuff you’ve been thoughtful enough to share with me. Today, I’m going with an inquiry that came from Eliza, who is no doubt happily married by now. Her circumstance remain timeless, however.
My fiance is Dutch, and in Holland most people wear their wedding rings on their right hand, unless they are catholic, in which case they wear them on their left. We are both relatively non-religious, but are protestant if we have to choose. Never-the-less, at the moment we live in the US (we could move to Holland sometime in the future, but no plans now). He gave me a beautiful antique platinum diamond ring, which I wear on my left ring finger. He has a yellow-gold family crest ring (an heirloom) he always wears on his left ring finger (and which doesn’t fit on his right).
Question #1) Should I let him get away with wearing a wedding ring on the right hand while we’re living in the US? Honestly, he’s a good looking guy who appreciates the attention he gets from women, and I want them all to know he’s taken! But is it too much to ask to have him resize his family ring to fit the right?
Question #2) He said there also might be some yellow gold wedding bands in his family from his grandparents. I like family jewelry, but my engagement ring is platinum. Then I was just thinking, if I wanted to go the multi-cultural route and let him wear his wedding ring on his right hand, what if we both wear his family wedding bands on our right hands? Definitely not-traditional, but we’re dealing with two different cultural norms.
Interesting question you’ve posed here. And one I’ve pondered before, as my grandparents are both Germans living in the US who wear their wedding bands on the right hand.
Now, for me, when I see something that looks like a wedding band, I just assume it is one, but that may be my own multi-cultural background talking. Still, I don’t think it’s unreasonable of you to ask your fiancé to wear his ring American-style when in the States. After all, you’re going to be married, and I imagine you’d like people to know you’re married!
As for your second question, I think you’ve hit upon a truly fabulous idea! I’ve never been one for the doubling up of rings anyway, and you’ve hit upon a perfect solution that lets you permanently rock both your wedding band and your engagement band. It’s also a good compromise–it allows him to keep wearing his family ring on the fitting finger. You may have to explain to unworldly folks who question your choice that you wear your rings European-style, but what is cooler than having a Dutch husband? Very little, IMO!
Oh, and don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t mix gold and platinum and silver and whatever else you fancy. It can look really stunning when done right.