- The wedding of a friend where the candles stuck in the greenery burned a little faster than anticipated – the MOH kept her cool and calmly patted out the little fires while the Bride and Groom were blissfully unaware

- Best friend’s wedding where one of the groomsmen missed his flight and the wedding. Fortunately one of the groom’s oldest friends surprised him and flew in from another country to be there and he fit in the rented suit – just a little hemming and no one knew!

- Not an out-and-out disaster but good friend didn’t have any sort of list of what family members needed to be in what photos so the entire wedding party commpletely missed the casual reception as different family groups (all uncles with birthdays in August! Now everyone who’s ever owned a green car! Ok, not that bad but close) were thought up then rounded up. I swear, I spent a full hour sitting on the side almost able to smell the food but everytime I got up to get some I was told “not yet, bridesmaids next!” We were NEVER next. Lesson learned – my photographer got a full (and very short) list of what formal shots we wanted and NO additions were allowed the day of unless they spontaneously formed themselves and used their own cameras.

- The wedding reception that took place at a hotel I was staying in – it was apparently a case of too much alcohol and too little sense. At about 1 in the morning one bm said or did something that set off another and a catfight ensued which turned into an all-out barroom style brawl. This was in one of those hotels where the rooms all overlook the courtyard where this was happening so all the guests were out on the balconies adding to the din. At about 2 am I called the frontdesk asking what the heck they were doing about it and in a muffled voice (I suspect he was hiding behind the counter) he said something about waiting for a second squad of police to show up. After that I figured nothing that happened at my wedding could compete!

- Fortunately my biggest disaster was loosing my earrings as well as my backup pair. Only two things I lost, go figure. And no one made sure that all my bags made it into the getaway car so we had to hit a Walmart on our first day of marriage. And I said “I do” too early – but that was just part of the fun. No fainting, fights, or life-threatening situations so I’m thankful!

It was April in Maine, and it had rained all day, hard. As I went down the main road to the hall, I was feeling a little weepy and wishing my late mom could be there and turning off sentimental music on the radio for fear of ruining my mascara.

And then the power went out. I could see the street lights and signs flickering out in order down the road. At that point, it all became funny.

Fortunately, there were lots of candles, and it was a really beautiful atmosphere. And the power came back on in time for the catering crew to clean up. But the photographer still refers to it as the wedding he shot in “available darkness.”

The couple is Cambodian, so they had a cultural/religious ceremony with their large families on Friday, and just had a quickie ceremony for the rest of us on Saturday, before the large reception. During the Saturday ceremony, their officiant, who was reading from a sheet printed off the internet, proceeded to ask:

“Do you, Sophorn, take Vereak to be your wife….. I mean husband? Man, and I’m not even drunk yet.”

Hee.

The funny thing was that the reception was a large 400+ person affair in a huge ballroom with a 9-course meal. Plus, every since table got their own bottle of Hennesey.

I hired my friend Tina to DJ at my wedding, and we borrowed the necessary equipment from my husband’s church (which was not the church we were getting married in). Apparently, while Tina (with the help of some friends) was setting up the sound equipment, they heard a *pop* and it started to smoke. They freaked out, and miraculously managed to get some spare parts from a Radio Shack and get the whole setup working, all while the rest of us were busy with the ceremony. I didn’t find out any of this until after the wedding. Hooray for friends that keep their cool and get things fixed.

When we returned the equipment to Chris’s church, felling horrible about possibly breaking some of it, the pastor laughed and said “why, that stuff is really old, I’m just happy it worked for you!”

So when yours truly, the Bride, had to use the facilties, what do you suppose greeted me when I emerged? Yup – a blinding flash of paparazzi-like activity because everyone had to get that pricesless shot of the Bride coming out of the bathroom in her Big White Dress.

One elderly gentleman was in a wheelchair, and a younger relative was pushing him. His wheelchair hit a pothole/depression in the ground, and the old man came flying out of his chair! He was fine, but I don’t think I ever laughed so hard at a wedding before in my life!

So now it’s time to open wide my wedding closet and tell what went wrong on my big day.

You already know Mr. Twistie said I do about four too many times, but there were two other small glitches, as well.

The first was that a friend of ours who had written a poem for us he was going to recite in both Gaelic and English (my background is largely Scottish and I was emphasizing that in a big way) didn’t show up in time. I held things up for him for about five so minutes, but then decided to go ahead. Weddings always seem to run a bit late, but I wasn’t going to let it turn into one of those events where people are whispering and wondering if the bride has changed her mind. It was easy enough to just skip the poem. By the time we got through with the receiving line and were ready to join the party, he’d gotten there after all. I forget whether they got lost or got stuck in bad traffic somewhere, but the important thing was my friend and his wife had appeared. In the end, he recited the poem after the Best Man gave his toast.

The other was that my poetic friend wasn’t the only latecomer. The wedding was held in a redwood grove. There was a small amphitheater set up on a low hillside, and down below (where guests entered) there was a picnic area with tables and a small dancefloor. In the middle of the ceremony, I learned that sound travelled perfectly from the party area to the ceremony area. Right in the middle of the ceremony, we heard someone down below saying quite clearly “I thought there was a wedding here today.” Everybody laughed too hard to hear the response. To this day, I’m not sure who it was, but it remains one of the highlights of the day…and the wedding video provided by a camera enthusiast of a guest.

In my case, the night before the wedding, my maid of honor and I were trying on the dress for fun. Well, I broke the zipper! I think I started hyperventilating at that point – “What am I going to do, Where can I get a dress tomorrow, I can’t tell my mom, What am I going to do, etc. etc.”

Anyways, 8am the next morning I am down at the fabric store (thank God I had my car there!) and bought a bunch of thread and hooks and eyes. While my husband-to-be and his best friend were blissfully unaware off lying in the sun, I was trying so sew about 40 hooks and eyes up the back of my dress. The fabric was so thick my fingers were bleeding trying to get the needle to go through. We did get the zipper to work, but did the hooks and eyes just in case. Needless to say I had perfect posture throughout the car ride and ceremony. My hubby at one point put his hand on my back during the ceremony and I hissed at him: “Don’t touch my back! I’ll tell you why later!”

To make matters worse, my Dad came in the limo to pick us up from the hotel. I was in my dress and trying to get all of our stuff (me and my m-o-h’s) out the door. He was yelling at us to hurry up, blah, blah, blah and I got so stressed out that I decided to just leave all of our stuff in the room – including my purse! Even though I didn’t have the room for another night. Luckily when my husband and I came back after the wedding, all of my stuff was still there. They just charged us for another night.

The final straw was when we were in the limo driving to the ceremony. My m-o-h decided that she was not going to be able to do the reading during the ceremony that she was suppossed to do. Which she had known about for a year. Then here and the other bridesmaids were arguing over who was going to do it. This went on until we were in the back of the church getting ready to walk down the aisle. Finally I had to say: I don’t care WHO is doing it, but someone better be up there!

Can you believe it! In the end my sister go stuck doing the reading.

Other than that, it was great!
Luv
Poochie
http://www.shoedaydreams.com