Divorce. Most people think it’s pretty dang serious.
By Never teh Bride
Most people consider divorce one of the most solemn and serious rites of passage. It’s a new beginning that is tainted by a traumatic ending. I say “most people” because I just know that someone is out there right now ordering a tiny coffin for their now defunct wedding band. Personally, I don’t think divorce itself is particularly humorous, though I will occasionally chuckle at impulsive Hollywood weddings followed by speedy Hollywood divorces.
I honestly would not be surprised if this sort of thing starts to catch on. As The Boomer Blog so aptly put it, “For marketers this serves as a revelation: the wedding industry is a gloriously profitable one. Why not create a divorce industry—tailored to boomers who are going through the difficult but ultimately freeing divorce passageway and might appreciate a little levity.”
Last year, someone named Shanna Moakler got in on the action. Her claim to fame was apparently being married to Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker. Like that cake? It’s the divorce cake she chopped into delicious edible bits at her divorce party as a means of finding closure. Back in my day–I’m 28, can I have a day?–closure was the product of a lot of crying, a lot of money, a lot of paperwork, and a few tubs of very expensive ice cream.
So what’s going to be the next hot item in the novelty divorce market? Perhaps the ex-husband voodoo doll? Humorous sweatshirts? Cheeky breakup care packages? Only time will tell…
November 13th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
When I got divorced, my roommate got me a cake. Apparently the girl at the store had a great time with the “Happy Divorce, Kate!” part. Wasn’t anywhere near as elaborate as that cake, although it did the trick. As for the ring-coffin, I find that the shoebox wrapped in duct tape (which still lives in the aforementioned roommate’s attic) works just great for rings, the dried bouquet, photo proofs, and a couple of mix tapes.
November 13th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
I like the ring coffin, and I might have bought it right after my divorce. I still have that ring–what do you do with an old wedding ring, anyway? My kids don’t want it; I took the diamond out and put it in a mother’s ring; but I still have two (soldered) white-gold bands.
November 13th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
After my divorce a very dear friend of mine gave me 2 pieces of advice about remarrying. He said: 1. Never marry a man who doesn’t have his own health insurance. and 2. Never marry a man who presents you with a diamond engagement ring that is too small to be made into a necklace after the divorce.
November 13th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
As a companion rule to the above, never marry someone you wouldn’t want to divorce.
November 13th, 2007 at 10:48 pm
this doesn’t really have anything to do with the post, but that shanna person and the blink-182 guy are now back together. so much for the divorce party, huh?
November 15th, 2007 at 10:30 am
Check out this article on salon.com: http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2007/10/29/divorce_announcements/index.html?source=rss&aim=/mwt/feature
Apparently one of the hot new party trends in Vegas (and other places) is the Divorce Party, complete with invitations and gift registries. There are even divorce cards you can send to people.
Wonder if they’ll come up with a new magazine too? And how about Divorce Gowns and Divorce Tuxes? And bouquets and photography and … okay, I’ll stop now.
November 15th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
How about a “My sweetie doesn’t have to pay alimony anymore to that lazy wretch who’s had the five years since he filed for the divorce (and she just now signed the papers) to get a job and her own health insurance and he even gave her the entire house and put her and her daughters through college because she wouldn’t go after her daughters’ father for child support” party? That’s what I am looking forward to celebrating five years from now.
November 15th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
That sounds like it will be one hell of a party, class-factotum!