Comments on: Rigid French Net Peek-a-Boo Babydoll — Requested (1) Purchased (0)

By: E

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 17:59:04 +0000

I don’t think lingerie showers are a good thing. I buy my own underwear and lingerie myself thank you very much and wouldn’t want anyone else to pick them. Odds are they’ll pick the wrong size, cut and colour

By: Never teh Bride

Never teh Bride — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 19:16:30 +0000

Sounds like you had some lovely showers, Dianasaur! When are we gonna get to see some more of your wedding pics

By: Dianasaur

Dianasaur — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 19:01:47 +0000

I was very blessed to have 3 showers, 2 kitchen showers thrown by both sides of my husband’s family, and a lingerie shower/bachelorette perty thrown by my sister who was my MOH. For the kitchen showers they went off our wedding registries for gifts. For the lingerie they just had my sizes. My MOH checked very carefully with me on who I wanted there so that I would be comfortable. She was really thoughtful about it. There was still some embarassment but it was all in good fun and I was able to get a lot of things I couldn’t have afforded on my own. Honestly, I’m not a fan of doing things simply because that’s how they’re always been done. 2 out of the 3 people who threw the showers asked what I wanted. If they hadn’t, I know them well enough and they know me well enough that I would have felt comfortable asking if they’d be okay with it having a specific theme without worrying that they think I’m being overbearing. Also, I’m pretty easy to fit things to, but I can understand if someone is having a lingerie shower, and has trouble getting things to fit, wanting to register for specific sizes. Lingerie is one thing you need to feel comfortable and beautiful in. It might be easier to simply go to a place like Victoria’s Secret and figure what sizes in their line fits the best. Ultimately, no matter what, the shower itself is a huge blessing and as wonderful as the gifts are, it’s the time with people who care about me that I will remember the most.

By: de

de — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 13:53:52 +0000

What really stands out to me is that A needs to remember two things:

1) showers are not mandatory
2) registries and the items on them are not either

Gifts are NEVER an actual requirement. The moment they are, they become a tithe and not a gift, no?

And if someone wants to get a gift, they are not required to use a registry to do so.
Nor are they required to host/throw a shower in order to give said gift.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 18:31:26 +0000

I think it’s possible to tell your bridal party what you like without registering for the exact items. During my most recent stint as a bridesmaid, we threw the bride a lingerie shower at the bachelorette party, and the bride (at our request) sent us her sizes and gave us some idea of the colors and cuts she likes (e.g. no animal prints or itchy lace). Plus, a lot of the nicest lingerie tends to be sold in small boutiques — limiting your friends to places with online registries could mean you miss out on some beautiful and unique items.

By: the unfashionista

the unfashionista — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 17:42:10 +0000

It is also possible to make an Amazon.com wishlist. That is what we are doing for my sister’s shower. Her’s will be honeymoon theme, which I decided on as the MOH, but I ran it by her for approval, and if she’d said “I’d rather have a lingerie shower instead” I wouldn’t have a problem with it. I think NtB is right that a lot of bridesmaids ask the brides what kind of shower they would like, because we are their bridesmaids and we want them to be happy. If you ask me, throwing a shy, uncomfortable person a lingerie shower or throwing a person who can’t boil water a kitchen shower because its what you think you should do is just plain rude.
She requested to keep it not-old people, but I vetoed that because my mother and aunts will all be hurt if they don’t get invited. So instead, any lingerie will be opened at the bachelorette party, which takes care of the discomfort.

By: Never teh Bride

Never teh Bride — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 16:47:24 +0000

Aw, that’s not corny! You’re absolutely in the right. The Beard and I didn’t register for gifts, though we did give my mom and gram some ideas they could pass along if anyone asked. We received money, mainly, but we were delighted by the gifts people picked out. In fact, I ended up receiving some gifts I would never in a million years have registered for, and now those gifts are among my favorite possessions.

Of course, I’ve known some people who get utterly miffed when a couple DOESN’T have a registry because it means they have to think up a gift and they run the risk of getting something the couple already has.

By: Anusha

Anusha — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 16:38:08 +0000

If the MOH (or whoever else) asks what type of shower would be good, then I do agree that the bride can let her know what she likes. In fact, I think this is a very good idea. When my mother and I threw a shower, we asked the bride-to-be’s friends and relatives (since we wanted the shower to be a surprise) what she really likes, in terms of little housewares, hobby stuff, interests, etc. She really likes candles, so we threw her a candle shower, where everyone got her nice candles for her home.

But, you can’t compel people to get specific things for you, whether it’s for a shower or even your wedding. If you don’t like the gifts you get, you can always discreetly return or exchange them.

I just think all that really matters is that your friends care about you enough to throw you a shower, at all. Just the fact that they’re getting together to celebrate your upcoming marriage is such a wonderful thing. At the risk of sounding really corny, I think that’s truly the best gift of all.

By: Never teh Bride

Never teh Bride — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 16:28:17 +0000

You’re entirely right, Anusha, so I’m going to edit the post so no one gets the idea that I’m advocating this sort of thing. Unfortunately, more and more brides-to-be are stepping in to dictate what sort of showers they want because they see it on TV or some web site says it’s all right.

But I’m not going pass judgment because for all I know, A.’s MOH asked her directly what kind of shower she wanted. Some bridesmaids do decide to let the b2b choose for whatever reason.

By: Anusha

Anusha — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 16:19:37 +0000

Okay, wait a minute: since when did a bride-to-be decide on what kind of shower she wants, and get to dictate those wants to OTHER PEOPLE?! I thought even the bride’s immediate relatives are not supposed to throw here a shower, but that it has to be done by someone else.

If we’re truly at the point where brides choose what kind of shower they want and tell people what to buy for them, we’re all in big trouble.

I didn’t even know anyone was throwing me a shower till the day before it happened. I feel so thrilled and blessed to have been given a bridal shower at all. The gifts, while nice, are secondary to the love and joy that surrounds you. But, no-one’s going to feel all that loving or joyful if you tell them what to do and what to get you, for your shower, of all things.

I don’t even want to know what such a person’s wedding registry is like!