Never teh Bride says, Give the gifts you’d like to get

Start your engines, people—the holiday shopping season has officially begun. Some people start stock piling prezzies in February, and stores have been displaying Santa Claus stuff since October, but who cares? It’s Black Friday! Hours and hours ago, large groups of utterly insane people drove through the dark to malls and big box stores to take advantage of deals like $3 DVDs and $800 HDTVs.

My stepmother is a seasoned Black Friday shopper. Ignoring the fact that she got up wicked early the day before to start cooking, she gets up even earlier—around 3 a.m. or so—on Black Friday to ransack the nearest Wal*Mart. When you have seven kids, it makes a lot of sense. Christmas gets damn expensive. Me? I don’t have the stomach for a pre-dawn trek to a crowded store. The whole thing is one big marketing gimmick designed to get shoppers into the store by offering them seriously limited quantities of deeply discounted merchandise. Bleah.

I prefer to shop from the comfort of my own desk chair for two reasons. One, I am a wuss who just can’t handle the Black Friday “action,” and two, I can find the things I actually want online. Those $3 DVDs? I’m guessing it’s a big bin full of copies of movies like Zardoz and Bride of Chucky. No thanks!

I’ll admit that I am shopping today. The Beard and I don’t exchange gifts in the name of frugality, but I’ve got family members who are expecting presents. My gift giving strategy involves buying people things I want for myself, and it’s worked well for going on five years now. Seriously, I win Christmas. If you’re stumped for gift ideas this year, feel free to get everyone on your list stuff I’d like to see in my stocking. As always, clicky for more info.

Women: Women's Turtleneck Sweater Dresses - Tan HeatherWomen: Women's Turtleneck Sweater Dresses - Gray

Dresses are good all year long, but knit dresses rock my socks in the wintertime. I have three younger sisters, all of whom are pretty girly. Do they know they want dresses? No, but they’ll love ’em anyway!

Kevia gold open leaf pendant necklace Argento Vivo tri-tone leaf charm pendant necklace

I’ve been digging nature inspired jewelry since the first time I saw a pendant like these hanging from the swannish neck of one of those starlets who ends up in every supermarket tabloid. Who else would love one? My stylin’ gram.

Regent 3-Piece Herringbone 1818 SuitGolden Fleece® 3-Button Chalk Stripe Flannel Suit with Lapeled VestFitzgerald Saxxon  Plaid 1818 Suit

I don’t exactly crave suits for my own self but I do wish I had more money to spend on my own clothes. A quality suit—like a quality evening gown—will last ages…especially if the man in your life is like my dad, who never gets around to wearing his suits. Still, they’re good to have a couple in the back of the closet in case of emergencies. Now if I could only figure out how to get my brothers to stop resisting my attempts to spiffy them up…

Chantal 1.8-qt. Copper Teakettle, CopperCalphalon 2.5-qt.  Tri-ply Copper Shallow Saucepan, Copper

I know of very few people who will say no to shiny copper cookware. If I accidentally give some to one of those unusual people who’s all, “Ick, copper” I’ll just have to take my gift back and hang it up in my own kitchen! You hear that, mamman?

Fendi beige sequin zucchino canvas overnight bag

Can I pick out just a little something for myself? Okay then, I want this utterly bizarre bag. Have you ever fallen in love with something because it was just too impossibly ugly? That’s how I feel about the bag you see above. WTF, Fendi? My logical brain says “Chocolatey Damier Speedy 30,” as clichéd as that sounds. My animal brain says, “Sequin Fendi!”


And finally, I’d like a little more joy in my life…along with a whole bunch of JOY. Maybe my family will take my requests for pricey perfumes more seriously after I wow all the ladies with something that smells sweet.

Happy shopping!

5 Responses to “Never teh Bride says, Give the gifts you’d like to get”

  1. Embly says:

    Have you lived though…really? if you havn’t seen Zardoz?

  2. Never teh Bride says:

    I don’t know how to answer that, Embly…mainly because I actually own Zardoz on DVD. I paid a lot more than $3 for it, too!

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