Manolo for the Brides

Once again, it’s time to think about what to give the special people in your life for Christmas. With so many options to choose from, it can be difficult to narrow things down. But if you have a movie buff or a couple in love on your holiday gift list, any of these romantic classics (all available at amazon.com) might well be just the thing.

1: It Happened One Night is the screwball comedy that single-handedly destroyed the undershirt industry and made hitchhiking sexy. Sparks fly between Claudette Colbert and Clark Gable in this delightful film. If it doesn’t make you laugh, you have no funny bone.

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She’s a beautiful bird, but she’s gonna get ate. Not by me, though. The Beard and I feed the kitties meat but we’re not fans ourselves, so we’re cooking up a Tofurky. I’m pretty sure The Beard plans to deep fry it (how distinctly American!) but I can’t say for sure. Cooking is just not my thing, and this is a working holiday for yours truly as the book deadline approaches almost too quickly for comfort.

Anyway, eat something tasty on my behalf and I’ll eat something tasty on your behalf. Happy Thanksgiving!

Finding an officiant to officiate is easy when you’ve got strong ties to a particular faith. If you and your sweetie belong to a church or are members of a synagogue, you may spend no more than a couple of seconds asking yourselves who will perform your rites. Those who are either unaffiliated or nonreligious don’t have it so easy.

What’s an officiant good for? Unless you’re in Colorado, where you can legally perform your own ceremony with the right forms, you need someone to sign off on your wedding to make it official. What are your options? You could hit up the Yellow Pages and pick some random minister or JP. Unsurprisingly, there are numerous search engines for this sort of thing. You can find interfaith officiants, Humanist officiants, Pagan officiants, and freelance rabbis.

Or you could have a friend hit up one of the many, many, many online ordination services out there. Before the Internet got hot, the Universal Life Church ordained folks via mail. Nowadays, you can pick and choose between nonreligious online ordination or heavily religious online ordination. Do a search for “online ordination” and you’ll have more opportunities for ordination than you can shake a stick at.

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My favorite part of the book-writing process is the research. Buckling down and actually doing the writing kind of sucks because it can be tedious if you’re not in the right frame of mind. But dang if I don’t love me some serious hardcore research. When you plug something like, oh, “unusual wedding flowers” into Google or Images.google.com you get some super cool results. For example, Lisa Shea makes colorful origami flowers that can be used as a floral alternative in bouquets and centerpieces.

There are a ton of paper options, so you’re almost guaranteed to find something that matches your wedding color scheme. I think a mix of textured and monocolor flowers would look awesome. Of course, if you’ve got all the time in the world, you could try making your own origami flowers with sheets of origami paper and long green pipe cleaners. Directions for various sorts of origami flowers can be found here, here, here, here, and here. If you want to go all out, spring for Origami Flowers: Popular Blossoms and Creative Bouquets. Be aware, however, that the book isn’t really for beginners. Bone up on your origami skillz before attempting a full bouquet.

My littlest brother was six when The Beard and I got hitched. I didn’t have a ring bearer because I think they’re kind of silly, what with the fake rings most carry, and furthermore, I doubted my bro would have much fun wearing a miniature suit for the day. As it turned out, he was run over by a car and stuck in a rolling chair during the whole wedding anyway. Now that he’s up and about and good as new, I don’t feel so bad about imagining him in short pants and a little velvet or satin jacket with a big bow collar.

Back in the day…by which I mean the Victorian day…little gentlemen were given the responsibility of holding the bride’s train. In the most formal of weddings, these boys would wear white silk hose, buckled shoes and matching hats. A Fashion Timeline has a few more interesting things to say about mini-men and their roles in Victorian weddings.

No fashionable Victorian bridal party was complete without small boys as pages. The pages were usually chosen from among the young brothers or nephews of the bride. They were one of the most picturesque features of the bridal group when quaintly dressed in little prince costumes or Lord Fauntleroy suits of white or pale tinted satin with collar and cuffs of lace and a sash of soft silk in a contrasting shade.

Getting my rambunctious younger brothing into a getup like that would have required stuffing him into it by force and then sewing him into it so he couldn’t escape. Even then, he probably would have found some way to cut it off. How did your ring bearer feel about suiting up for the day?

“The dress of the bridegroom is regulated by that chosen by the bride; if she wears a white veil, he is expected to appear in black trousers, dress coat, which may be either black or blue, white waistcoat, and white cravat; or, if a naval or military person, in full uniform. If the bride should prefer to wear a bonnet, the bridegroom should put on a frock-coat of black, brown, or other tasteful color, and light-colored waistcoat and trousers.”

from: “The Bazar Book of Decorum.
The care of the Person, Manners, Etiquette, and Ceremonials.” 1873

It’s no longer 1873, but to this day, the bride generally determines what the groom wears - at least to some extent - and the groom has minimal leeway as to what that is. Chances are he’s going to wear either a black tux or a dark suit unless he’s in the military, in which case he wears his dress uniform. If he’s of a Scottish or Irish background, he may choose to wear a kilt. Unless you’re willing to buck every trend going, that’s about the limit, though, and how far the groom may stray from the standard is usually determined by what the bride chooses to wear.

Still, there are options for the fashion-forward groom who wants to show due decorum and still have a bit of personal pizzazz. Take, for instance, this handsome stand-up collar tux from Jean Yves Mirage:

Better yet, I’ll take it and put it on Mr. Twistie.

See you later. Much later!

Friday, November 16 was a big day on BBC Radio 4. It marked the golden wedding anniversary of radio soap couple Phil and Jill Archer on The Archers. Fifty years ago, widower Phil tied the knot with Jill after meeting her at a village fete. While their children have struggled with romantic relationships, Phil and Jill remain constant and devoted. Not only that, they’re still played by the original actors.

Also in the world of imaginary couples on British soaps, Jack and Vera Duckworth on the long-running TV series Coronation Street are also set to celebrate fifty years of marriage. But it might be considered cheating on one level, since the characters didn’t appear on the show until the 1970s.

It’s nice to know some marriages last, despite the fact they don’t even exist.

In the real world of marriage, actress Sarah Michelle Gellar has taken her husband’s name as a five year anniversary gift, UPI announced yesterday. She will now be known as Sarah Michelle Prinze, which is a major step in Hollywood marriages. A source ‘close to the actress’ told USA Weekly:

“On their anniversary, she showed (Freddie) her new driver’s license. It was so sweet.”

I’m sure it was.

On the other hand, fourteen and a half years later, I still have a different last name from Mr. Twistie, and we’re still going very strong.

Does anyone reeeeaaaaaally need a custom hand-painted aisle runner? No. But they’re still kind of cool.

Truth be told, I was not aware that this sort of thing existed when I tied the knot. I thought all the aisle runners out there were plain ol’ white plastic! It’s too bad, because I definitely would have bought a pretty cloth one from Artistic Aisles, all monogrammed and painted with flowers.

Then again, at $300 bucks for a 75-foot-long runner in a “designer color,” maybe it’s better that I didn’t stumble onto these until after I was officially hitched. Have you bought a runner? How much did it, er, run you?

Can I just tell you that I need to find someone willing to give me 7,500 AUD? Oh, and plane fare to Australia so I can go to my fittings. Plus maybe a time machine. The heart stopping gown you see before you was not created for a bride–though Culture Shock does create one-of-a-kind bridal gowns. Yet if I could go back in time and redo my wedding, I would find some way to wear this very gown. I’d have to redo all my colors and my decor, but I’m willing to make that sacrifice!