STDs…useful sometimes
By Never teh Bride
Save-the-dates are by no means necessary if your wedding will take place close to home. If, however, a large number of your guests will have to make travel or accommodation arrangements, your STD cards can help people plan. Those individuals may even save a little dough by reserving their spots on planes and in hotels early.
Pop ‘em in the mail about four to six months before your nuptials, and make sure you include your names, your wedding date, and the location of your nuptials. You should also add the URL of your personal wedding web site–especially if you’ve put up a page linking to local accommodations, airports, and directions.
If you don’t feel like putting anymore paper into an already bloated postal system, you can always warn your intended guests that they ought to save-the-date via telephone or e-mail. On that note, know that not everyone cares for cute STD magnets, postcards, and stickers. On Indie Bride’s Kvetch boards, joplin4 wrote:
I know I’m in the minority, but to me, I sense an implied feeling of “My wedding is so important that you need to clear your calendar for it 8 months ahead of time so you can be sure you’re there.” And you know what? Most weddings I attend are simply not *that* important to me, with some exceptions for really close friends and family.
I know that’s not generally the intent (I hope!), but it does come across like that ever so slightly to me. Don’t get me wrong — I also let the “important” people know my wedding date as soon as I knew it myself. But somehow it comes across as a tad self-important to me to actually write it up, print it, mail it, etc.
Are you sending STDs? Do it right! Inkielivie puts pen to paper to make fabulous stationery like the STD cards above, and she’s not the only one. Pop over to Etsy to see what independent designers can do with a little paper and some ink.
December 7th, 2007 at 1:03 pm
That seems a rather extreme reaction to a save-the-date card! Personally I think they’re indispensable if a large percentage of your guests need to make travel plans, and I get annoyed when couples *don’t* send them out. I hate waiting to make my reservations until the official invitation comes. Buying a plane ticket 3 months in advance as opposed to 3 weeks in advance could easily save your guests a couple hundred bucks, and for cash-poor twenty-somethings it could mean the difference between attending and not attending.
December 7th, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Yeah, joplin4 needs to get over herself. STD notices are a courtesy, just in case you want to make plans. Receiving one doesn’t t impose a social obligation on you; after all, you don’t even have to respond to one, unlike an actual invitation.
December 7th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
I was terribly annoyed when someone sent me an invitation to an out-of-town wedding only six weeks in advance, and didn’t give me warning. I had already planned to go to that location for ten days just before the wedding, and changing my plane ticket to stay a few extra days would have cost more than the original ticket. I ended up not staying the extra three days.
I think StDs are not so much “my wedding is so important you that you need to clear your calendar for it 8 months ahead” as “I think you’re important enough to warrant advance warning that my wedding is out of town, and since I’d love for you to be there I want to make it as easy as possible for you.” (It was also incidentally helpful to me, since some of my StD cards came back–people had moved and hadn’t told me. I was able to find out their new addresses so that the invitations would arrive in a timely fashion.)
December 7th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Am I the only one that agrees with joplin4? I think save-the-dates are a tad unnecessary. I do think it’s important to let people know about your wedding date more than 6 - 8 weeks before hand, especially for people who are traveling or if your wedding is on a holiday weekend or other time of the year when many people might be taking vacations. But I think this information can be conveyed much more informally, like a phone call or an email. Plus, I find them to be a waste of money and resources. Save-the-dates seems like a relatively new wedding fad, and it seems like people got along fine without them!
December 7th, 2007 at 5:14 pm
It is called a “Save the Date”. I mean, grammatically, it’s an imperative. So I don’t think she’s crazy or needs to get over herself. I agree with what’s been said about how the thing functions socially, I get that and I do think they’re useful. But the instruction on the card is, “(please) save the date”: joplin isn’t making anything up or reading into it, that’s exactly what the text says!
December 7th, 2007 at 5:49 pm
Unless the majority of your guests are coming from a considerable distance and need to be informed en masse, I tend to agree with joplin4 and Wendy. For the vast majority of brides, it’s one more way to be separated from your money. Mentioning your wedding date in a phone call, email, or letter to those who need a little extra planning time is a lot more personal, too.
When I was planning my wedding fifteen years ago, nobody had heard of Save the Date cards, let alone magnets, bottle stoppers, etc. We had two bridesmaids and a groomsman living on the opposite coast and guests coming from four different states - not to mention spread out all over California. Somehow we managed to keep everyone in the loop who needed the information without anyone finding themselves without enough time to plan the trip reasonably. And this was before I became a computerholic, so I wasn’t even emailing them.
Now I get Save the Dates (I refuse to use the acronym because…well…it sounds as though someone is spreading unpleasant ailments requiring judicious use of penicillan to heal the victims) for weddings happening in my own town. Really, guys, it’s not necessary.
It’s not that I find them self-important or bossy, it’s just that I find them wasteful and frankly a rather silly thing for most weddings. YMMV.
December 7th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
We used Save the Date cards that we made ourselves. We were engaged for 2.5 years and sent them out about 1 year ahead of time. We did this because we had a large number of guests coming from overseas and wanted to give them ample time to prepare for a trip. We also were married around a holiday and wanted to give some of our other guests some notice before they planned holiday vacations. In addition, most of our friends did not have flexible vacation time, and needed 6-12 months lead time to actually get vacation time.
December 8th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
I did send out Save the Dates. When we first announced our engagement we planned to get married in 2009. We wanted everyone to know we moved the date forward. A lot of my friends found a mass email to be impersonal and I didn’t want to call 40 people and to basically say the same thing over and over again. Plus I wasn’t calling for any other reason.
Our Save the dates were a simple piece of paper that I printed out of the computer. No magnet, nothing too fancy.
December 9th, 2007 at 6:23 pm
I’m having a large Indian wedding, and half of my guests are coming from somewhere abroad. I’m not having save-the-dates, though… not with the Internet at hand! My mother and I just sent out emails to everyone letting them know. It’s saving us a bundle and was one less thing to worry about.
December 10th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Rather than sending Save The Date cards, we just sent out our invitations earlier than “normal”, allowing our guests plenty of time to plan, since most of them were coming from out of town. I don’t really understand why more people don’t do that… I know there’s an “etiquette” guideline for invitation timing, but really, what’s the problem with sending them early?
December 10th, 2007 at 5:01 pm
We run an invitation company (www.invitationconsultants.com), here is my take on this issue.
At first it was more common for destination weddings, and weddings with a lot of out-of -town guests. Nowadays, more and more people tend to send save the dates. It is becoming current practice.
As several of the comments point out above, it is seen as a courtesy to guests.