Manolo for the Brides

I was deeply engrossed in Style Scoop when my little eye happened upon this intersection of the nuptial and the presidential:

Whether you give two toots about Jenna Bush’s May 10th wedding to Henry Hager (I don’t, oddly enough), it’s beyond cool to see all of the potential dress designs. As Style Scoop tells it, the first lady (hey, should I be capitalizing that?) asked twelve notable designers to submit sketches of the gown that may just clothe her daughter on said daughter’s special day.

The twelve designs sprang forth from the minds of the following designers (from one to twelve): Vera Wang, J. Mendel, Arnold Scaasi, Carlos Miele, Amsale, Carmen Marc Valvo, Angel Sanchez, Badgley Mischka, Nicole Miller, Lela Rose, Marc Bouwer, and Oscar de la Renta.

My personal favorite is number nine, but I have always fancied those Nicole Miller ruffles. Number one looks like it ought to be in the annual toilet paper gown contest. Three gets a big ol’ yawn from me, but all things considered it does look sort of right for a White House wedding. Eight is too daring for the same, and I have nothing to say about seven other than that the cartoon model looks entirely undead.

Which, pray tell, do you favor?

The designers of a good portion of today’s MOB/MOG wear would have you believe that every proud momma is trim, toned, and ready to show off her dangerous curves. It’s a nice thought, but you guys have always been quick to tell me that your moms don’t quite fit that ambitious mold. I know from personal experience that my own MOG was rather nonplussed at the dresses my MOB was eying, as their body types couldn’t possibly be more different than they already are.

I’m not saying that moms of all shapes and sizes shouldn’t consider wearing something that’s a little more slinky than it is boxy, but there is definitely a contingent of moms out there who’d rather keep their assets to themselves, thankyouverymuch.

Sydney’s Closet is a pretty reliable dress source if you’re looking to “size up glamour,” though their selection definitely features a staggering number of what I like to call MILF dresses. If mom doesn’t see anything she likes in the MOB section, point her toward the straight up formal wear area.

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It seems that there’s no denying the crossover points between modern nuptials and Nintendo. Previously, we’ve seen the Super Mario wedding cake and the stacked console cake with a GameCube on top. Now gamer gals and grooms who are so inclined can replace the boring old bride and groom cake toppers with custom created Miis.

You can’t argue with the popularity of the Wii! Paul Pape, Lindsey Pape, and perhaps certain other unnamed artists will whip you up a couple of Miis made to match your own for the relatively low price of $100 to $200, depending on options. The higher end topper is entirely customized — each Mii is wearing whatever you’ll be wearing on your wedding day.

I’m no topper fan when it comes to generics, but I love things like this. With many of the custom jobs out there starting at about $500 per piece, I’d suggest jumping on Paul’s offer if you happen to be a Nintendo junkie. Just don’t tell him how reasonable his prices are, lest he up them because he can!

The question of whether one can have too many moms is a complex one. Some people are of the opinion that one is far more than any single person ought to need while others welcome the presence of matriarchal influences in all facets of their lives. It is an intensely personal conundrum that demands a great deal of introspective thought.

The question of whether one can have too many moms at a wedding…now that really depends on the moms. Gone are the days where we can assume that the bride has one mom and the groom has one mom. Perhaps the bride-to-be’s father has remarried, bringing a step-mother into the mix. Her mom has come out as a lesbian and has also taken a wife. The bride herself is close to each of the three moms and has dreams of including them all in her nuptials.

Then there’s the groom-to-be. His father, surprisingly, has come out as a homosexual, but his mate is currently living as a woman for whatever reasons. His mother has never remarried (though she kept her married name) and she lives right down the block from the marriage venue and has become very, very involved in the proceedings. Like his intended, the groom is close to all of these individuals. In fact, the whole family is quite tight!

Holy moly, that’s a lot of moms, all of whom may want to emulate the MOG by helping the bride-to-be choose her dress, criticizing the groom-to-be’s musical tastes, participating in the ceremony, making a speech at the reception, wearing a corsage, walking in the pre-processional, recessing, doing a reading, and so on. Yipes!

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Hey, guys! It’s time for another round of Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness!

For those who are here for the first time, here’s how it works: I post a picture, you reply in comments with the best caption you can come up with, and next saturday, I declare a winner.

This week, I have to give a very special shout out to our own Never teh Bride for discovering and passing on this…very special photograph. Truly, I am glad I wasn’t trying to eat or drink anything when it arrived in my inbox, so you might want to put anything you’re eating or drinking down about now. No really.

And here it is:
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In a recent article here, I begged wedding gown designers to offer us something they haven’t in years: sleeves. I truly thought I was whistling in the wind and it would take a very long time to see any sort of action on this request.

Lo and behold, yesterday I went shopping in my local bookstore and paused before the magazine rack, only to see this looking back at me from the display:

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As I was merrily surfing the web, I ran across a site for wedding vows. What fun! I love wedding vows! No, really, I do. In truth, the vows are the single most important part of a wedding. This is what makes the whole thing legally binding and what all the fun window dressing of pretty clothes, delicious food, and beautiful music are there to celebrate.

The part of this particular site that rather tickled my particular sense of humor was the section of Celebrity Vows. Yes, you can now choose the same wedding vows used by Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, or Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller. Actually, most of them are pretty much standard forms from various protestant denominations, and not that unusual.

There was, however, one part in one ceremony that caught my eye. I’d like to share it with you. It comes from Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward’s wedding. While it’s not the vows, per se, it strikes me as a particularly wonderful way of expressing what marriage is really all about:

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In the Art of Marriage: The little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say ‘I love you’ at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel. It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding room for the things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

And I think that sort of says it all.

Reader comments have been unbelievably fabulous lately, so I thought I’d share a handful here in case there are actually people out there who haven’t given in to the impulse to explore popular opinion.

Alex said:
If you want to donate to charity, that’s wonderful and generous of you. Please don’t make the decision for me. It is in no way shape or form a favor or gift for me. Don’t get me wrong, I think donating to a charity you believe in is great and I think people have their hearts in the right place…I’m just not sure why exactly it has to be announced to me, you know?

Innkeeper Jason said:
Sometimes these doubts are seeds that have been planted by other people and sometimes it is just nerves and sometimes perhaps you are marrying the wrong person. For those of you who have called it off, I applaud you for the courage it must have taken.

Toby Wollin said:
Actually, my favorite periods are up through about the mid-60s: you could still get a dress with a decent neckline, sleeves, and interesting skirts and waists. Once you get into the 70s it was Gunnysack Hell, and then straight down the road to the Strapless Follies. If I had to make myself a bridal gown today, I’d go straight to the vintage pattern folks and look there.

C* said:
If any of you have purchased (or been given) any diamond jewlery between Jan. 1, 1994 and March 31, 2006 check out Diamondsclassaction.com and file a claim to get a refund from the lawsuit against DeBeers. Apparently they had an illegal monopoly on diamond sales during those years (is that really surprising at all?).

From the comments on my recent post, it’s pretty clear that there are still those old fashioned gals who crave an out of this world rock with a price tag that makes their men feel a little uncomfortable. Ask ye shall receive, ladies…but be ready to expect the unexpected. I do indeed have some rings for you.

Out of this world? Check. A tad pricey? Check.

See that gray stuff? It’s straight up meteorite, i.e. those big old hunks of minerals that originate in outer space and survive a fall to earth. I think these are utterly gorgeous.

The ring on the left is a genuine piece of Mars inlaid in 18k gold. The chunk of the red planet was cut from a Mars rock, found in the desert and officially cataloged under the name Dhofar 019. The ring on the right contains a certified piece of the moon inlaid in 18k gold. The moon bit was cut from a larger moon rock cataloged as Dhofar461, which was classified by researchers A. Rubin and Paul Warren from UCLA. They do look kind of cheap (in terms of aesthetics, not the price tag), but might be just the thing for the astronomy buff in your life.

Okay, so it’s not the big bling…but I think there is something cool about the idea of exchanging rings made of stuff that has been outside Earth’s atmosphere in the not so distant past.