Was the big discount store in Manhattan RK Bridal?

But I totally agree that the “aha!” moment is largely manufactured. At one salon, my friend tried on a dress the saleswoman suggested. It was all wrong for what she wanted — strapless and plain satin when my friend had told her she was looking for cap sleeves and beading. She tried it on mostly to be polite. When she came out of the dressing room, the saleswoman clapped her hands together and gushed, “I’ve never seen anyone look so beautiful in that dress! It was *made* for your figure.” I think she was hoping to push an “aha” moment on my friend to make the sale, which kind of annoyed me. I do understand that she works on commission, but the dress was so clearly wrong based on what my friend had said she wanted that the whole moment came off really phony.

I saw a dress in a magazine that I wanted from the start but I was wary of ordering a dress I hadn’t tried on, and there were no shops in my state (or any surrounding ones) that had the dress is anything but a size 2 (I was a 12 at the time). So, I found a dress at a bridal shop that I liked and was able to try on and I was so happy that it fit after being told at several shops that with my street size 12 body I wouldn’t find any shops but David’s that catered to “big girls like [me]” I decided to get the one I didn’t love, but liked all right. So I dragged my mom, sisters, and sister-in-law to the shop, tried on the dress and everyone cried. Everyone except me. I was resigned to wearing it but then I had a major breakdown and decided to buy the one from the magazine even though I hadn’t tried it on. I am so glad I went with the one I loved…it looked amazing and I felt like a super model.

I ended up ordering the gown, which I’m sure will be lovely when I have the correct size. So far I haven’t had any second thoughts – stay tuned!

So one of my bridesmaids and I designed my gown and she amazingly cobbled my ideas together out of about three different commercially available patterns with a few tweaks to add all the special details I really wanted from a couple illustrations I had of historical gowns. It was a huge effort on her part, and I can never properly thank her for the way she made my dream come true.

Of course, between her work, her family, a good social life and several extra-curricular activities, it was hard to add in making my gown as well. Throw in a couple last-minute personal crises and I was beginning to worry that I’d have to race out the night before my wedding to buy a white dress – any white dress! – and do without. If it had come to that, I was absolutely prepared to just let my dream dress go, too. I’d hit this sort of weird Zen state a couple weeks before my wedding and absolutely nothing seemed able to shake me.

My friend, however, did come through and the gown was delivered at the rehearsal dinner. That meant that I didn’t see it completed and on me until my wedding day. I was still feeling super Zen when I got up that morning, but in the moment when I finally saw myself in my gown…I didn’t cry, but I don’t believe I have ever felt so entirely delighted in my life. It actually rivals the moment Mr. Twistie and I were officially declared married.

My mother, sadly, wasn’t there to share the day, but I know she would have loved the gown, and probably would have gotten teary at the sight.

And the gown went on to win second prize at the county fair. True story.

So when I got engaged, I started looking for something off the rack. I picked up a lace halter dress at a Nordstrom’s outlet on clearance for $50, considering it to be a back-up dress. In other words, if I couldn’t find the ‘oh mommy dress’, at least I had a go-to dress. Which was good for me, since it took off some of the pressure to find the perfect dress.

Later, after reading reviews of the jcrew bridal line, I bought another dress. Since it was purchased off the internet, there was no trying it on in front of Mom and MOH, no tears of joy. I have ‘the dress’, but without any ‘oh mommy’ moment. I felt kind of weird about that for a while, like somehow even though I love my dress it couldn’t be right because I didn’t have that moment. It’s a bit of a relief to think of that moment as commercially contrived.

And I suspect that I will be one of the few women who never has to look back on her senior prom pictures and cringe.

I hope I have that moment when dress shopping but I think I’d be wary of it. I’m so afraid I’ll get bored with something I have to pick so far in advance.