Comments on: When nerves are nerves and when nerves are not

By: La BellaDonna

La BellaDonna — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 00:24:52 +0000

I had no doubts, and might even still be married, if not for the near-death occasion that showed me that … OMG. He really didn’t care if I lived or died. It took two and a half decades for that to be inarguably apparent.

By: Top-5 Wedding Blog Posts of the Week! — Our Wedding Plus

Top-5 Wedding Blog Posts of the Week! — Our Wedding Plus — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 04:43:00 +0000

[...] you are trying to tell yourself something. Never teh Bride has a great post this week entitled “when nerves are nerves and when nerves are not” about what constitutes cold feet and when it’s time to run! Check it [...]

By: J

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 00:09:00 +0000

I’ve been married twice, and both times had cold feet–not the kind that was precipitated by a specific event, but the kind that lingered somewhere in the pit of my stomach for days and days and days, and I thought I was crazy–these were great guys, after all, and surely I had learned how to pick the right mate by the second time around, right?

Suffice it to say, the first marriage crashed and burned less than a year later. The second fared better–we managed to make it last almost 5 years before it slowly dissolved into nothing.

I wish I had listened to my gut instead of my brain.

By: Innkeeper Jason

Innkeeper Jason — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 15:23:50 +0000

Sometimes these doubts are seeds that have been planted by other people and sometimes it is just nerves and sometimes perhaps you are marrying the wrong person. For those of you who have called it off, I applaud you for the courage it must have taken.

By: amber

amber — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 02:04:39 +0000

We were over a year into our engagement and 4 months from the wedding when we realized that we were making a huge mistake and called it all off. Sometimes it’s just cold feet, but sometimes it really is for the best. I am SO glad I didn’t marry him, even when dumb romance movies make me cry and I contemplate the horrors of online dating for the umpteenth time. (Maybe this will be the time I meet a fun Depp-alike who doesn’t murder in his spare time…)

By: Sarah

Sarah — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 23:13:22 +0000

We had been together for seven years and needed a toaster. Instead of just buying a toaster he cheaply suggested that if we get married we would get one. We already owned a house together so it seemed kind of like, yeah, why not get married AND go for the toaster? (OMG SO ROMANTIC!) About seven months into the shoestring-budget wedding plans, on the way back from picking out our invitations and placing our non-refundable $125 order, we had a giant fight in the car. I do not even remember what the fight was about, but I do remember that it made me think to myself, dang, you go girl, RUN! Yet somehow I went ahead with it because of the stupid $125. We never did get that toaster. We got divorced 5 years later. I wish I would have trusted myself and jumped out of the car when we had pulled over to scream at each other.

By: satori

satori — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 17:51:00 +0000

See, this is why I think Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter have the whole thing figured out: two separate houses joined by a single sitting area-slash-hallway. That way Tim can chew like a ruminant (hee) all he wants, and Helena can sleep with no one snoring in her ear. Win-win!

Both my sisters were engaged to other men before they married their present husbands. Both called the weddings off. Neither has any regrets. Sometimes cold feet signify impending frostbite. I think that if uneasiness becomes chronic, counseling or postponing the wedding is in order. Maybe both. Marriage is (or is supposed to be) a lifelong commitment. It’s worth taking the extra time, if necessary, to make sure all the pieces are in place.

By: Void_Ptr

Void_Ptr — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 17:32:44 +0000

Strangely enough, I had no second thoughts whatsoever. I just wanted to get the wedding over with so that we could return to our lives.