Too, too, too many moms? Or mom-o-rama?

The question of whether one can have too many moms is a complex one. Some people are of the opinion that one is far more than any single person ought to need while others welcome the presence of matriarchal influences in all facets of their lives. It is an intensely personal conundrum that demands a great deal of introspective thought.

Beware! They’re not just here to hang around!

The question of whether one can have too many moms at a wedding…now that really depends on the moms. Gone are the days where we can assume that the bride has one mom and the groom has one mom. Perhaps the bride-to-be’s father has remarried, bringing a step-mother into the mix. Her mom has come out as a lesbian and has also taken a wife. The bride herself is close to each of the three moms and has dreams of including them all in her nuptials.

Then there’s the groom-to-be. His father, surprisingly, has come out as a homosexual, but his mate is currently living as a woman for whatever reasons. His mother has never remarried (though she kept her married name) and she lives right down the block from the marriage venue and has become very, very involved in the proceedings. Like his intended, the groom is close to all of these individuals. In fact, the whole family is quite tight!

Holy moly, that’s a lot of moms, all of whom may want to emulate the MOG by helping the bride-to-be choose her dress, criticizing the groom-to-be’s musical tastes, participating in the ceremony, making a speech at the reception, wearing a corsage, walking in the pre-processional, recessing, doing a reading, and so on. Yipes!

So how can this conscientious couple include their many moms and avoid offending anyone? The first step is to steer casual conversation toward the topic of expectations. The moms are going to have their own expectations that may or may not mesh with those of the bride- and groom-to-be. If everyone puts their hopes and dreams on the table before moving forward, the engaged couple has a chance to nix the ideas they absolutely hate and the moms have a chance to say, “I was really hoping you’d let me help with X, Y, and Z.”

From that point onward, it’s up to the future newlyweds to decide whether they’d like the moms to pick out their own duds and get themselves to the church on time or they are going to go bridal salon hopping with a gaggle of MOBs and MOGs in tow. Of course, they may opt for some compromise in between. As for what the invitations might look like, one option appears immediately below.

John and Cyndi Smith
Jennifer and Mary Lane
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of
Carla Deann Smith
Mitch Elrod Jones
son of Lynn Jones, Jeff Jones, and Josh Jones
on Saturday, the Nineteenth of May
at twelve o’clock in the afternoon
The Banana River Country Club
Merritt Island, FL
Reception to follow

The sky is the limit here, because crafty brides- and grooms-to-be will have no trouble finding a way to include extra moms. I myself had my dad recess with his wife and my mom recess with her wife, and I furthermore did my best to keep everyone in the loop where my wedding planning progress was concerned. For those with lots and lots of moms, the best advice I can give you is this: Ask your many moms how they’d prefer to participate in the planning. You don’t necessarily have to acquiesce to their wishes…most moms will simply be happy that you were thoughtful enough to ask.

4 Responses to “Too, too, too many moms? Or mom-o-rama?”

  1. Chloe says:

    My fiance & I decided to go with “together with their parents” as the wording on our invitations. My side of the family is just one mom, one dad. My fiance however… has one mom, one adopted step-dad, his late biological father’s common-law wife and her new husband! “Together with their parents” seemed like the best way to deal with it – without excluding anyone 🙂

  2. Twistie says:

    We went with ‘together with their parents’ despite the fact we each had one living parent, no steps, etc. It just seemed silly to put my father or his mother as the hosts when we were both past thirty, were paying for the wedding ourselves, and it was his second marriage. To have left any mention of them out would have looked a little sad to me, but to have listed the names would have looked a little wrong to me, too, under the circumstances. YMMV, but it worked for everyone involved.

  3. Never teh Bride says:

    Nice works, guys! “Together with their parents” works in a variety of circumstances, from the ‘too many parents’ situation to the ‘we’re hosting it’ situation to the ‘we’re not terribly close to our parents but we want to mention them anyway’ situation.

  4. warmarkwoman says:

    We went with: me, daughter of her, and him, son of her and him, invite you to blah blah blah. No one dropped dead from bad etiquette, so I guess it was okay. (We did it that way mostly because we were paying for the whole thing.)