Comments on: Is This a Wedding Or a Funeral? The Dos and Don’ts of Memorials at Festive Events http://manolobrides.com/2008/02/23/is-this-a-wedding-or-a-funeral-the-dos-and-donts-of-memorials-at-festive-events/ Manolo Loves the Brides! Wed, 08 Feb 2012 11:59:52 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Phyllis http://manolobrides.com/2008/02/23/is-this-a-wedding-or-a-funeral-the-dos-and-donts-of-memorials-at-festive-events/comment-page-1/#comment-159025 Phyllis Sun, 02 Mar 2008 17:55:02 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/2008/02/23/is-this-a-wedding-or-a-funeral-the-dos-and-donts-of-memorials-at-festive-events/#comment-159025 My husband's younger brother and his wife must have been at the forefront of this trend when they married in 1994. Both fathers were deceased by then; so at the reception there was a side room that played a silent video of blended home movies and still photos from each family. There was also a small placard acknowledging both men. It was low key and not the main event at all, and to this day I think it's one of the most touching things I've ever seen at a wedding. My husband’s younger brother and his wife must have been at the forefront of this trend when they married in 1994. Both fathers were deceased by then; so at the reception there was a side room that played a silent video of blended home movies and still photos from each family. There was also a small placard acknowledging both men. It was low key and not the main event at all, and to this day I think it’s one of the most touching things I’ve ever seen at a wedding.

]]> By: The Manolo Week in Review » Manolo's Shoe Blog http://manolobrides.com/2008/02/23/is-this-a-wedding-or-a-funeral-the-dos-and-donts-of-memorials-at-festive-events/comment-page-1/#comment-158910 The Manolo Week in Review » Manolo's Shoe Blog Sat, 01 Mar 2008 19:27:19 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/2008/02/23/is-this-a-wedding-or-a-funeral-the-dos-and-donts-of-memorials-at-festive-events/#comment-158910 [...] Twistie… Where is the line between honoring those we loved who cannot be with us and turning a wedding into a mass memorial service? [...] [...] Twistie… Where is the line between honoring those we loved who cannot be with us and turning a wedding into a mass memorial service? [...]

]]> By: Pencils http://manolobrides.com/2008/02/23/is-this-a-wedding-or-a-funeral-the-dos-and-donts-of-memorials-at-festive-events/comment-page-1/#comment-158640 Pencils Wed, 27 Feb 2008 16:13:05 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/2008/02/23/is-this-a-wedding-or-a-funeral-the-dos-and-donts-of-memorials-at-festive-events/#comment-158640 My husband lost his mother about three weeks after we became engaged. Even though neither of us is religious (and I'm not Jewish) we were married in a Jewish ceremony to honor her. My husband knew it bothered her that only one of her children had been married in a Jewish ceremony, even though she wasn't terribly religious, either. I wish she had been at our wedding, but I'm very glad we were able to honor her in this small way. My husband lost his mother about three weeks after we became engaged. Even though neither of us is religious (and I’m not Jewish) we were married in a Jewish ceremony to honor her. My husband knew it bothered her that only one of her children had been married in a Jewish ceremony, even though she wasn’t terribly religious, either. I wish she had been at our wedding, but I’m very glad we were able to honor her in this small way.

]]> By: Toni http://manolobrides.com/2008/02/23/is-this-a-wedding-or-a-funeral-the-dos-and-donts-of-memorials-at-festive-events/comment-page-1/#comment-158635 Toni Wed, 27 Feb 2008 15:04:43 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/2008/02/23/is-this-a-wedding-or-a-funeral-the-dos-and-donts-of-memorials-at-festive-events/#comment-158635 My grandfather passed away a month before my wedding, and since we knew that the entire family was going to be in town soon anyway, we decided to postpone the memorial, especially since we were donating my grandfather's body to science, and therefore wouldn't have any sort of casket or viewing. We didn't do anything specific the day of the wedding, but rather held a memorial service at my parent's house the Sunday morning after. My grandfather passed away a month before my wedding, and since we knew that the entire family was going to be in town soon anyway, we decided to postpone the memorial, especially since we were donating my grandfather’s body to science, and therefore wouldn’t have any sort of casket or viewing. We didn’t do anything specific the day of the wedding, but rather held a memorial service at my parent’s house the Sunday morning after.

]]> By: dovian http://manolobrides.com/2008/02/23/is-this-a-wedding-or-a-funeral-the-dos-and-donts-of-memorials-at-festive-events/comment-page-1/#comment-158585 dovian Wed, 27 Feb 2008 01:44:44 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/2008/02/23/is-this-a-wedding-or-a-funeral-the-dos-and-donts-of-memorials-at-festive-events/#comment-158585 By the time I got married all of my grandparents were gone, as well as DH's grandfather. We put a bouquet of matching flowers on the placecard table with a little note, and then my parents took them to the cemetery the next day. We also used a design my grandmother had drawn for the cover of our programs, and I wore a MacLachlan plaid garter (which probably would have scandalized the grandparents in question, actually). DH wore his grandfather's prayer shawl. It was just little things, meaningful mostly to us, but still acknowledging the ones not with us. By the time I got married all of my grandparents were gone, as well as DH’s grandfather. We put a bouquet of matching flowers on the placecard table with a little note, and then my parents took them to the cemetery the next day. We also used a design my grandmother had drawn for the cover of our programs, and I wore a MacLachlan plaid garter (which probably would have scandalized the grandparents in question, actually). DH wore his grandfather’s prayer shawl. It was just little things, meaningful mostly to us, but still acknowledging the ones not with us.

]]> By: Never teh Bride http://manolobrides.com/2008/02/23/is-this-a-wedding-or-a-funeral-the-dos-and-donts-of-memorials-at-festive-events/comment-page-1/#comment-158449 Never teh Bride Mon, 25 Feb 2008 13:40:35 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/2008/02/23/is-this-a-wedding-or-a-funeral-the-dos-and-donts-of-memorials-at-festive-events/#comment-158449 I'm pro simple program listings, like the one mentioned by Sarah C. above. It's easy, unobtrusive, and doesn't color the atmosphere the same way an empty chair or a memorial candle might. I’m pro simple program listings, like the one mentioned by Sarah C. above. It’s easy, unobtrusive, and doesn’t color the atmosphere the same way an empty chair or a memorial candle might.

]]> By: Sarah C. http://manolobrides.com/2008/02/23/is-this-a-wedding-or-a-funeral-the-dos-and-donts-of-memorials-at-festive-events/comment-page-1/#comment-158406 Sarah C. Sun, 24 Feb 2008 19:10:07 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/2008/02/23/is-this-a-wedding-or-a-funeral-the-dos-and-donts-of-memorials-at-festive-events/#comment-158406 In my first wedding (the second is Friday!), we had a simple addition to the program, as we had both lost aunts we were close to in the months before the wedding. It was just a "In loving memory of" addition, so people could pay attention or ignore as they wished. I wore my grandmother's ring, too. In my first wedding (the second is Friday!), we had a simple addition to the program, as we had both lost aunts we were close to in the months before the wedding. It was just a “In loving memory of” addition, so people could pay attention or ignore as they wished.

I wore my grandmother’s ring, too.

]]> By: Glinda http://manolobrides.com/2008/02/23/is-this-a-wedding-or-a-funeral-the-dos-and-donts-of-memorials-at-festive-events/comment-page-1/#comment-158352 Glinda Sun, 24 Feb 2008 05:29:22 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/2008/02/23/is-this-a-wedding-or-a-funeral-the-dos-and-donts-of-memorials-at-festive-events/#comment-158352 A dear friend of mine had lost her father a few years before her wedding, and she used his favorite songs and had an empty chair for him. I can't say what's appropriate, I think it depends on the person and the wedding, as long as it fits. But I agree that memorializing too many people just isn't a good thing. A dear friend of mine had lost her father a few years before her wedding, and she used his favorite songs and had an empty chair for him.

I can’t say what’s appropriate, I think it depends on the person and the wedding, as long as it fits. But I agree that memorializing too many people just isn’t a good thing.

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