Comments on: A reception, sans booze?

By: rekke

rekke — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 02:10:00 +0000

My sister had a wedding with no alcohol because they didn’t drink and they were trying to be thrifty. Only about two people clearly cared about the lack of booze and they seemed like jerks for it (and we pointed them to the nearest bar where I believe they sat out the reception).
The rest of us had an awesome party. We came for their celebration, and it was up to them to decide what kind of celebration it was going to be. Of course that wasn’t the only break with tradition– they also had chocolate mousse and fruit instead of a ridonkulous wedding cake. No one pitched a fit because they couldn’t get any buttercream frosting (hmmm). They rejected a lot of the silliness of weddings– they kept the love and the joy and left behind a lot of the pomp and circumstance. They rock.

By: anonymous

anonymous — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 06:12:20 +0000

In traditional Jewish weddings, wine is a necessary part of the ceremony (or grape juice) but it’s not necessary for the guests… in any case, at my sister’s icy January wedding, my mom decided that serving wine was fine but wouldn’t serve any liquor because of all the people driving. A few guests were horrified, and brought their own, but I don’t think anybody else even noticed – and it set a precedent for the rest of us to do the same when we married. Somebody usually brings a bottle of scotch, but then he has to share it among lots of guys.

By: Talix

Talix — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 14:48:23 +0000

A final thought about the customary toast – provide champagne along with another sparkling beverage of a different color. That way, when facing a table of drinks placed haphazardly the risk of confusing a “leaded” drink with an “unleaded” is somewhat mitigated.

By: Talix

Talix — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 14:44:55 +0000

I am a recovering addict as are many of my friends. I would hope that for one occasion, the people who care most for me and want my happiness would be willing to forgo alcohol. I think it would pretty selfish of people to expect alcohol at a wedding if both the bride and groom were in recovery!

That said, I also still associate with friends and family who drink. While I don’t think I’d feel obligated to provide alcohol for them, I’d probably have a couple of cases of wine to, as Amy said, make them feel welcome. On the other hand, those friends know and support me in that if I’m uncomfortable at an event where alcohol is plentiful, I will leave. I’d (and I’m sure they’d) prefer my reception not be one of those events.

By: Dianasaur

Dianasaur — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 05:00:31 +0000

I forgot to mention that after a relatives wedding the year before mine, her grandmother was killed in a car crash on the way home. Alcohol was not related, but that was still a painful memory in a lot of the family’s minds, and her wedding day is forever the day her grandma died. People are responsible for their own actions, but I’d still feel terrible if I had a party/wedding/dinner with alcohol, and someone was in an accident driving home.

By: raincoaster

raincoaster — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 13:51:42 +0000

One of the nicest weddings I’ve ever been to was a dry one. It was an afternoon tea reception with all the tea party trimmings (except the sherry, of course). As long as what you offer your guests is of high quality, festive, and of sufficient quantity to serve as a meal, you have done your duty as hosts at a wedding reception.

That tea reception was so nice I’m thinking about that for myself, although I am an amateur booze snob, myself. Now all I need is the victi- uh, GROOM.

By: amy

amy — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 01:40:52 +0000

hear hear, southern. those boards give me the willies.

By: southernbella

southernbella — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 23:58:50 +0000

the knot is so trashy.

By: Megan

Megan — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 22:55:28 +0000

Hey, guys– just wanted to thank you all for your thoughtful and helpful comments. I’ve really enjoyed reading your insights into this touchy topic.

By: talda

talda — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 22:48:20 +0000

we will most likely be having a dry wedding because no one in our families really drinks so it’d just be a waste of time and money to have the alcohol available on a general basis. while i do enjoy the occasional cocktail, i can honestly have a bang up time without it. besides, its a wedding…do you need any more incentive to get up and dance and celebrate? or at least mingle?

most of the weddings i’ve been to have either been dry or with a limited bar [beer and wine] and all were fun. it’s sad that, according to some people, that my wedding wouldn’t be worth attending if i wasn’t going to liquor them up. while i don’t think it’s rude to not offer alcohol at a wedding i do think its definitely rude to demand it as a guest.