I was browsing Manolo for the Big Girl just the other day when I came across this comment posted by one prowlcat:
ah yes! the poor taste in wearing bare-shouldered, backless, plunging-neckline wedding dresses in religious ceremonies. vera wang what have you wrought? also brides with crowns or tiaras. brides rejecting the veil, but keeping everything else. its all symbolism; borat will not put you in a sack and carry you away if you wear a veil. its traditional. dyed to match shoes, however, are not. and no flip flops at weddings, even in the jungle!
Now I do detest dyed-to-match shoes — though I’ll admit to fancying them when I was eight or so — and wedding flip flops, particularly the ones embellished with all manner of lace and rhinestones are indeed an abomination. But I can’t say I harbor any vitriol toward brides who choose to walk bareheadedly toward matrimonial bliss.
It was Vera Wang who said, “Other than the wedding ring, [the veil] is the most symbolic accessory a woman will ever wear.” I believe it was Never teh Bride (hey, that’s me!) who said, “Tradition be damned — honey, you’ll be just as married if you say ‘I do’ while wearing jeans and a bad case of bed head.”
There are as many reasons to ditch the headgear as there are to wear it proudly. I, for example, can’t stand having stuff in front of my face or flipping about my head, and thus find anything remotely veil-like entirely uncomfortable. Some brides don’t care for the potentially patriarchal origins of the veil tradition, whether or not it actually has its origins in bride-nappers tossing blankets over the heads of their prey or fathers tricking gullible young men into marrying the wrong sister. And I’m sure there are brides out there who think veils are just plain unattractive.
- Veils look great in photographs because they’re tres dramatic…especially long veils on windy days.
- For most, it’s a once in a lifetime fashion choice. I mean, really now, how often is a gauzy, lacy veil really appropriate?
- It’s not all about length — birdcage veils are awesome, as is evidenced in the above photo of a real bride wearing a veil from Something Bold!
- The longer ones are apt to blow around ridiculously on those dramatic windy days. Had I worn a veil, it would have stuck out at a 90 degree angle from my had for the whole of the wedding.
- They can look kind of costume-y if done wrong, and finding one that is more than a cookie-cutter piece of netting isn’t always easy.
- To some, the whole “lifting of the veil” thing is kind of creepy.
The choice, as always, is yours. If you’re not partial to veils, don’t let a few naysayers force you into wearing something you don’t care for just because “it’s tradition.” Veils (like just about everything else associated with weddings) have gone in and out of nuptial fashion over the years. Plenty of the wedding accoutrements we think of as traditional don’t really have the thousand-year-long history one might suppose. Believe me when I say that everyone is going to know you’re the bride, whether you top yourself with a veil or not.
(OT: FYI, you might want to head over and check out the newly revamped Bridesmaid Essentials. Right now, you can win a BCBG Max Azria handbag and a $100 PiperLime.com gift card, just by submitting a 27-word account of how you’ve gone above and beyond the call of bridesmaid duty by midnight EST of March 31!)