The ugliest cake topper in the world
By Never teh BrideThe other day, I extolled the virtues of Wilton’s DIY cake guide because it is the most comprehensive free guide I’ve ever come across. Wilton, I thought naively, must rule at all things. It was only much later that I realized that this picture of an utterly horrid cake topper has the Wilton logo splashed in the upper left hand corner.
When I look at this topper, all I can see is a man in drag carrying around one of those o-mouthed blow up dolls. I can’t be the only person who felt they were looking at Mr. Wife and his friend “Rock Hard,” as this particular bride and groom set is nowhere to be found among Wilton’s current offerings.
Not that there’s anything wrong with silly toppers, if that’s your thing. Check out a snapshot of my own less-than-bridey topper under the cut.

That, in case you were wondering, is Mannix (the flame point), Moya (the tabby), and Kilgore (the black one).








March 18th, 2008 at 8:37 am
To me it looks like she’s carrying the unconscious sacrificial virgin to the pyre (”What kind of pyre?” “A pyre of fire.” “Oh, a fire-pyre.”).
March 18th, 2008 at 9:13 am
Haha great Forum referecnce, srah.
That is the ugliest cake topper in the world. But I love the kitty cats. I like when the cake topper (or any other aspect of the wedding, really) has a personal touch that identifies with the bride and groom.
March 18th, 2008 at 10:01 am
ooooh - you had proper 00long cake toppers. They’re great!
March 18th, 2008 at 10:05 am
I love the cats.
We didn’t have a wedding cake, so for our first anniversary I made a cake for my husband and put an okapi (for me) and a wild dog (for him) on top.
March 18th, 2008 at 11:37 am
You know, I’ve seen versions of the bride carrying the groom topper where it didn’t look like the bride was a drag queen who had just knocked the poor guy unconscious. Didn’t do much for me then, but this…yikes!
I much prefer your cats, NtB. Personal and cute. What more could you want?
March 18th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
Okay, so I don’t get this cake topper…is the bride supposed to be a man? Is the groom supposed to be a blow-up doll? Is this for gay weddings? I think gay men deserve better than this, and probably have better taste than to get this thing anyway.
I also love the cats. Offbeat, but very tasteful and cute.
March 19th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Now this is what you call a comical cake topper.
March 19th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Man, I thought mine was ugly! I wanted a pretty Lenox dancing bride/groom on or near my cake, but DH insisted on a “traditional” bride and groom standing next to each other. Do you know how hard that is to find these days? Particularly one with a dark-haired groom and a blonde bride - for some reason they only come in matching pairs. Finally the baker offered to paint the hair blonde for us. It was ugly as sin. But it made DH happy and he insisted on so little I had to give it to him.
But that beats all. Maybe I just don’t have a sense of humor but I don’t find any of those ilk (groom with ball and chain, bride with fishing pole/groom as fish, etc) attractive, or funny. Maybe for your fifth wedding?
I love the cats! They are super cute.
March 19th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
THAT THERE IS UGLY!!!!
Carlene