Can I get a rewind?
Writing about all things bridal for a living does funny things to your head. For instance, being that my own wedding has come and gone, I’ve taken to rewriting it in my imagination. It’s an unusual day when I don’t accost The Beard the moment he walks through the door to tell him that “if I had to do it all over again, I’d buy/do/wear this!” It’s not that I’m unhappy with the way my own wedding turned out. Rather, it’s that there were simply all these wonderful things I didn’t know about while shopping for it!
My latest “I wish I had some reason to buy it” find is a dress from Eden Bridals, of all places. I tend not to like most of their inventory — what, for example, is up with the gathers on this number? The dress I’m lusting after today, however, is rather different than most of the ones I’ve come across on that web site.
For one thing, this organza and taffeta dress is green. Specifically, it’s a color Eden Bridals likes to call thistle, which is an incredible muted green that reminds me of twilight and old fashioned things. It is also available in all white, all ivory, or all iridescent rose. The rose sounds intriguing, but as it turns out, it’s way too much pink for me.
I’ve been entertaining thoughts of buying it and hemming it, but at around $900 it’s going to remain a fantasy dress. I could, after all, spend less than half of that and get something utterly stunning from Bluefly. But if I was getting married all over again, I might just consider dropping a phat wad of cash on it.
For those already married readers out there, do you keep a mental do-over file? What did you find after the fact that you wish you’d known about before you said, “I do?”
oooo I love love LOVE that thistle color. For an outdoor garden wedding that dress would be amazing.
I try not to, but there are a few things. In terms of the gown, I found my dream gown years later (link below):
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v379/Arghlita/Clothes%20I%20Want/twopiece.jpg
I was married in a white “Quinceañera” dress from a chain store in the mall. It was very lovely and in my price range at $125, but the whole china doll look doesn’t represent me nearly as well as the romantic but strong mix of mandarin collar, corset top and palazzo pants found above. I know a lot of people who have had a ‘tude about the bride wearing pants, but at this point I don’t care anymore.
Other things I would do differently?
Not be so self-centered. I wasn’t the worst ever, but I’m not going to kid myself – I seriously let things slide in the “do-unto-others” department. The one bridesmaid from out-of-town who did make it? I did a terrible job of making sure she was comfortable and she was NOT used to traveling. She picked a hotel near my house that was overpriced and really shabby, and she basically hung out in her hotel room because she didn’t have enough contact info to catch up with many of the events.
Do a better job with invitations and thank you notes. My MOH offered to help me address the notes and then (oopsie) lost them – the box blew away in a strong wind on her way from the car to the post office and ended up on the highway. I was so moody and bitchy that she was afraid to tell me, so… she didn’t. She told my mom, the day of the wedding. I’m still working on forgiveness, mostly myself at this point. If I’d been a little less self-centered, maybe she would have felt like she could talk to me about it. There’s no excuse for the boneheaded way I dropped the ball on thanking people, even with all the drama that happened soon after my wedding. It should have been even *more* important to thank people. I didn’t send notes to basically anyone, and now I’ve lost touch with many of the people.
Most of all, I wouldn’t take myself or the day so seriously. Yes, it’s important and it’s a lot of planning and money, but I wish I’d stressed less and enjoyed myself more. So my MOH had a dentist appointment during the rehearsal? Big whoop, she knows how to walk. So everyone misunderstood where to be at 9am and went to the church? It was only 10 minutes away, it’s not a big deal. Me shrieking “FIX IT!” over the phone at my groom? Yeah, everyone remembers that moment, and the following moment when he borrowed a van and came tearing over to my house even though he didn’t have a valid license in that state (long, long story but it was lack of birth certificate not substance abuse). If I’d had a sense of humor about it all, we’d all be remembering it with a laugh instead of a wince.
I’m not usually a pants kind of gal, but I love that look, Mcmiller. All I can say is wow!
And thanks for your honesty — I think that there are former brides who look back on their nuptials with some regrets and then feel bad because they think everyone else looks back with a big sigh and a happy tear. It’s nice for those suffering in silence to know that almost everyone looks back and sees something they’d have done differently.
My first wedding was the expected thing- we still kept it small (in size and in budget), but there were a lot of things that were included because it was “expected” and not because we wanted it. Fortunately, I got a do-over (new groom! new ceremony! not a quickly-rectified mistake!)
Since this was the second wedding for both of us, we knew enough to do what WE wanted, not what we thought we should do. We had 15 people for the ceremony- all family, a small reception for cake and champagne at home, and a cocktail reception for our friends who weren’t invited to the ceremony. The reception was small enough that we actually got to mingle and talk to all of our guests, instead of the sit-down dinner I’d done before. We also asked for handmade gifts like cookies, drawings (from the kids), photos, etc. instead of store-bought, which led to a lot of fun, creative stuff.
It was a LOT more fun and less stressful than the first. I had a big dress, but I didn’t even order the flowers for the house until a week ahead of time, while I had a giant hangover from my impromptu hens’ night the night before. I think I managed to cram everything I had wanted to re-do from the first one and do it more personally this time.
I loved my wedding. It was gorgeous without being fussy and everybody had a great time. However, I wish I had had a better job at the time. I got married during my first teaching assignment at a BAD school and whenever I think about that time I get stress flashbacks of the job. I have great memories of that day but not of the surrounding time and it makes it hard for me to think about.
That’s probably weird, right?
Also I wish I had realized my sister-in-law no longer had pierced ears when I was buying bridesmaids gifts. Oops.