Give me the biggest bow you’ve got. No, bigger! And affix it directly to the bust where it will have the most oomph.

I’m a huge fan of stepping away from the bridal salons when it comes time to choose dresses for your bridesmaids. For one thing, your gals can take all of the money they would have spent on “something they could wear again but won’t” and spend it on a dress that doesn’t scream bridesmaid. Of course, hitting up Bluefly instead of Eden Bridals is no guarantee that you’ll find something great.

Remember the bubble boob bow number I wrote about a few months back? As it turns out, that frock did not represent an isolated case of boobowocity. While trolling for potential bridesmaids’ dresses I came across more boob bows, which I have arranged here from the most minuscule to the most tuggable.

Nicole Miller chocolate shantung bow detail cocktail dressSignette mustard knit stretch jersey front bow dress
ADAM gold taffeta bow babydoll dressBetsey Johnson blush ombre taffeta bow dress

But why stop there? If you really want to drive home the point — Bows! You love ’em! You’ve got ’em! BOWS BOWS BOWS! — you can gift your gals with one of these Franchi clutches to thank them for dutifully encasing their bosoms in gigantic bows without complaint.

Franchi Handbags - Tania Bow Clutch (Champagne) - Bags and LuggageFranchi Handbags - Clarice Silk Bow Clutch W Rhinestone Ring (Blush) - Bags and LuggageFranchi Handbags - Shari Sequin Bow Clutch (Matte Gold) - Bags and Luggage

11 Responses to “Give me the biggest bow you’ve got. No, bigger! And affix it directly to the bust where it will have the most oomph.”

  1. C* says:

    Wow…um…those dresses are…*ahem*…special? The Adam gold taffeta number looks like a bed sheet wrapped around the bust and tied. Not good. Just not good.

    I like the purses though, especially the Clarice design, although I don’t really get the matching purses for bridesmaids thing. I didn’t even think about matching purses for my bridesmaids and I can’t even remember if any of them had purses with them.

  2. Never teh Bride says:

    We gave our entire wedding party (guys and gals) bags, C*, but they didn’t match a thing. Instead of boxing up our attendant prezzies, we stuck them all in Sanrio lunch totes. Every attendant received a different character, from Hello Kitty to Cinnamoroll to Keroppi and a bunch more.

  3. Wendy says:

    I don’t mind the top two dresses so much, because the size of the bow isn’t overwhelming. The bottom two dresses overdo it a bit.

  4. C* says:

    Love it NtB! That’s a great idea! Sanrio lunch totes are so awesome.

  5. Nariya says:

    i can’t imagine anyone consenting to wear those bottom ones. they’re just so bizarre! gift-wrapped bridesmaids, anyone?

  6. Jennie says:

    How about “Bows by Bodytype”??? Small chested, BIG bow. Small Behind, BIG bow. Big belly, BIG bowls all over! Bows as Balance….

  7. Anonymous says:

    I would have LOVED to purchase our BM gowns from a regular store, however, it was not meant to be. I have 3 VERY different BMs…one is very slim and petite, one will be about 7 months preggers and one is a plus size…so it was a challenge…

  8. hamiharri says:

    I would have LOVED to purchase our BM gowns from a regular store, however, it was not meant to be. I have 3 VERY different BMs…one is very slim and petite, one will be about 7 months preggers and one is a plus size…so it was a challenge…

  9. Kristen says:

    The first one isn’t too bad. The second one looks like it’s trying to cover a fabric cutting error.

    The bottom two? Just plain wrong. Ugh.

  10. Blake says:

    Um, yeah. Weren’t bows all about 2007? Really, I’m sick to death of them. Go on, mock them into oblivion, please!

  11. Holly says:

    Can I just put in a vote for the AMAZING Betsey Johnson blush ombre dress? I have no idea why there’s so much hate for the dramatic bows. I love them all, and the subtlety actually doesn’t wow me, but that one . . . perfection. I would even wear a longer version of that as my own wedding dress.