NtB, I’ve known half a dozen brides who made their own cakes. And I know there were days when sitting there tossing the bobbins was the best thing I could have done for myself. Like your experience with the bouquets, I found it relaxing. The important part is being clear in your own mind which projects are relaxing to you and which aren’t…and the clear understanding that others will tell you that what they think would stress them will obviously stress you. But you know you best. You know whether baking is fun and relaxing or a huge stress to you. You figured out on your own that you would work better with faux flowers than real. Knowing your own nature is key to deciding what to and what not to do yourself.

Chloe, you are so right that playing to your strengths is important. That’s why I made no attempt to sew my gown. Hell, after a year of making the lace, I was ready to hand it off even if I was that good with a needle and thread! And grow flowers? No way. I have black thumb. I look at plants and they die. But knowing what you’re good at, what you’re not good at, and which jobs will be too stressful for you is vitally important. For me, it was great having fruit salad and bouquets to make the night before the wedding. Another bride may want to have everything off her plate at that point. It’s all about knowing which bride you are and acting accordingly.

I also realized that there are somethings I just couldn’t do! It was totally worth getting the cake professionally made, have the bridesmaid dresses sewn by a seamstress and getting a florist to make the corsages. Playing to your own strengths is key!

I loved our cake, but I was actually looking forward to making cake or cakes or cupcakes for the reception. Everyone upon everyone told us we shouldn’t even think about doing it. I’m a little disappointed about it still, but we had so many silly little family obligations to attend to that it really would have been hard to fit into our schedule. ::sigh::

But realistically, I’m all thumbs with the DIY stuff. My attempt to help my best friend assemble her out-of-towner welcome boxes ended with the bride laughing hysterically at my inability to fold the damn boxes correctly (as in, the bottom fell out when I picked it up. Many custom-made lilac M&Ms were lost under the bed that day). I love it when couples incorporate handmade details into their weddings, but I’ve accepted that I’m just not gifted in that direction!

Yes, the woman who makes her own lace doesn’t sew.

Good for you for recognizing when a DIY project wasn’t working out for you! It can be easy to go into autopilot and stress yourself out over something that isn’t working as well as you thought it would. Sometimes it’s important to know when to throw in the towel.

The key is having enough time — I had a year to work on my wedding — and being organized. I was also realistic about stressing myself out. I had planned to make my party dress, but a month before the wedding I realized I would be working up to the last minute and it wasn’t fun anymore, so I quit and took my mom shopping. We found a beautiful party dress and I was thrilled. So be the DIY diva you want to be, just make sure you are having fun and leave the rest to the pros.