It’s a nice day for a wild wedding

What happens when there’s less wedding bliss and more WWF? Newlyweds land in jail, natch. I don’t know why stories of brawling brides and bridegrooms tickle me so, but if I had to guess I’d say it’s the pure unexpectedness of the whole fracas.

Note: This is a dramatization!

Just yesterday The Beard sent me a link to an article about Christa Vattimo and her husband David W. Wielechowksi. Freshly returned from an official wedding ceremony that took place in the Bahamas, the couple was ready to renew their vows in front of 150 friends and relatives.

But something must have gone sour after I do number two, because Dennis, according to the criminal complaint, “used a karate-style kick with his leg to kick Christa, knocking her to the floor” as they were making their way into their hotel room…presumably for some post-post-marital you-know-what.

Two guests of another wedding heard the bride’s screams and rushed over to help her. But when they restrained Wielechowksi, his bride began attacking her rescuers, police said.

The fight traveled from a hallway to an elevator then into the hotel lobby where, police said, the couple threw metal planters containing live plants into an elevator at the men who tried to break up the fight.

Police arrived to find the dentist lying on the floor of the lobby and his bride “yelling loudly” and “apparently highly intoxicated,” according to the complaint.

Highly intoxicated, you say? SURPRISE SURPRISE! I kid…what’s really surprising is Christa’s claim that her husband didn’t start any fights with her or anyone else. Why do I doubt that other hotel guests conspired to get the couple thrown into the pokey?

2 Responses to “It’s a nice day for a wild wedding”

  1. Twistie says:

    I imagine Perry Mason could work out the tangled web of intrigue that would make sense of the reasons behind some random couple trying to get another random couple tossed in the hoosgow…but there would have to actually be some reason, wouldn’t there?

    Then again, Perry Mason always found a way to connect the dots to the least likely suspect.

  2. So…the bellhop started it all?