Following on the heels of those ubiquitous bridal checklists, you’ll find the slightly less common bridal beauty timelines. Sometimes they’re squished into one perfect package so you’re reminded to have yet another facial right around the time you ought to be breaking in your bridal shoes…TIP: wear tube socks over your heels to keep them whitey white white white.

In other instances the beauty timelines stand alone, like one I found at Chopstick Bride, which advises brides-to-be to start treating acne one year before the wedding, schedule four to six acid peels six months before the wedding, and begin drinking a gallon of water per day at a month before the wedding. Sadly, they offer no advice at all with regard to explaining those frequent bathroom breaks to coworkers and friends.

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You know what is truly fantastic? Ill tell you: When I come across a designer’s web page that doesn’t use all manner of Flash, so I can actually pull some images without having to resort to PrtScn–>Paint–>The Gimp. Jesus Peiro, I thank you for your use of plain old jpegs!

Damn, that is just gorgeous — perfect for those looking for a little shoulder and décolletage coverage. I usually like a little more flare in the hips, but if you’ve got kind of a flat tummy (or some super foundation garments) why ruin a good straight line? I think the classic simplicity is what I love best.

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Not one, but TWO (!!!) instances of nuptial tasing were recently brought to my attention. The first involves a Californian groom who was tased by police after adopting a “fighting stance” when police were called in to investigate a too-loud reception. The second…well, see for yourself.

Last I heard, bachelor parties involved great quantities of booze with slightly smaller quantities of boobs. A group of men in Knox County, Maine apparently thought the usual pre-wedding rituals were simply too ho-hum, and decided to switch things up a bit. Lucky for us, they videotaped the entire extravaganza!

Unfortunately there’s no way to embed the vid here, so you’ll have to follow the link. I can, however, sum up the party for you: The groom-to-be was tased, handcuffed, tied him up with duct tape, oiled and feathered, and paraded through downtown strapped to a lawn chair.

I cringed watching the antics of what are supposedly grown men–though I have my doubts–and hope you cringe, too. Getting tased is no laughing matter, and yet the entirety of the video is full of the yuck-yuck-yucking of the groom-to-be’s buddies. It’s hard to tell whether the feathered fella is perhaps a Jackass fan and thus into it, but he does seem pretty unsteady on his feet after getting zapped. I vote that he find a new group of friends, stat, and I frankly pity the poor bride-to-be.

In the now grand tradition of the Teeny Manolo Sweepstakes, we’d like to present the Manolo for the Brides Sweepstakes!

We wanted to give brides everywhere — as well as all the former brides and wedding enthusiasts — a little extra buying power in these uncertain times, so we’re giving away two tasty $50 Amazon gift certificates and one grand prize of a $150 Amazon gift certificate. That’s enough scrap to purchase some extra favor boxes, a couple of cute monogrammed clutches for your maids, or a few shades of Chanel lipsticks. Yum.

To enter, do one of two things:

• If you have a blog celebrating all things bridal and groomal, add Manolo for the Brides to your blogroll and leave a comment on this post letting us know (don’t forget to include a link to your blog). We love cross-promotion, so we’ll add you to our own blogroll when we see your comment. You say you already link to us, but we don’t link to you? Très horrible! Let us know in the comments!
• If you don’t have a blog, simply leave a comment on this post describing the ultimate dream wedding product that, for whatever reasons, you can’t or couldn’t have. Maybe that perfect $15,000 dress just doesn’t fit into your budget. Was sourcing hand sewn lace from Burano too troublesome? Perhaps your dream product doesn’t exist yet… Tell us about it!

Easy peasy, right? Our job is easy, too — when the contest deadline rolls around on 12 a.m. EST, April 28, 2008, we’ll assign each commenter a number and use a random integer generator to choose the winners in a fair fashion. The first two commenters chosen will receive the $50 certificates, and the third commenter chosen will win the grand prize.

I should add that we here at Manolo for the Brides are tickled pink to have the opportunity to give something back to our readers and to get to know their blogs. So spread the word, and don’t miss out on a chance to win because time passed you by. Two weeks is over in a flash!

That’s the battlecry of my family. If one of us asks another if there might not be a better approach to a task without being asked for advice first, this is what they’re most likely to hear in return. Witness these (semi) real exchanges:

Me: Are you really sure you want this whaling song about a guy leaving his woman for quite possibly ever as your first dance at your wedding reception?

My Brother: Who’s milking the frog? We like it.

Me: And that’s great. Enjoy. (makes mental note not to use same song for own wedding)

or

Me: What would you think of this for the cake?

Mr. Twistie: I don’t really like cake.

Me: What would you like?

Mr. Twistie: No, no, you can have your cake.

Me: But what would you like?

Mr. Twistie: I like fruit tarts.

Me: Wow! That sounds great! Let’s do it!

Mr. Twistie: Don’t you want your cake?

Me: Hey, who’s milking this frog? I can have cake any time I like. You don’t like it, and truth be told I like tarts better, too. Let’s have tarts.

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In a recent article, I talked about how to decide whether to use a professional planner to help create your wedding dreams. It seemed only fair that I also talk about how to decide whether to create most of your wedding from scratch or not.

I’m going to come right out and say that I was a total DIY diva for my wedding. I love to make things by hand, and I hate to spend money on paying someone to do something I’m more than capable of doing for myself. Further, I felt that putting my handwork into the day was part of putting my heart into the event. On top of all that, we had pretty much two shiny nickles to spend on making a day that our friends and families would remember fondly. We just plain didn’t have the bucks to spend on a lot of pros…but even if the budget had been more flexible, I think I would have done the DIY thing pretty much to the level I did. See above in re: putting my heart into the day.

I’ve known brides who have made their own gowns, grown the flowers, deisgned and printed invitations, baked their own cakes, made the wedding feasts in their own kitchens, designed and made all the decorations…I think about the only thing I haven’t seen yet is a bride who cobbled her own wedding shoes. I’m equally sure that somewhere out there is a lady who has done just that.

Still, it’s not for everyone. And that’s why you should ask yourself the following questions when deciding whether or not to DIY and to what extent:

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Few and far between are the lucky individuals who haven’t found themselves simultaneously single and invited to a wedding. If you’re invited as a onesome, the pressure’s off, and you can start worrying about what to wear and how you won’t know anyone at the reception and whether the buffet will include anything you, a vegan with a gluten allergy, can safely eat. It’s when your invitation comes addressed to “you plus one” that the fun begins.

Anon wrote in to ask about this very topic.

I (a straight female) received an invitation this week from a college friend, inviting me-plus-guest to her wedding. My immediate reaction, since I’m not dating anyone and don’t really want to scrape someone up to go to a wedding in another state, was to RSVP for myself alone. Then I remembered that my sister also knew the bride in college, as well as a lot of the other guests I’d assume are being invited. Would it be a no-no to bring my sister as my guest? Will it throw off the girl-boy ratio and ruin the wedding if I bring an extra female, rather than the expected extra male or coming alone? Is it weird to invite someone that the bride was friends with, but who she didn’t invite to the wedding herself? If I don’t have a date-date, should I just save the bride and groom the cost of another plate and go by myself? Am I just overthinking this and making a bigger deal of it than I should?

In the realm of traditional etiquette, it’s a well-established fact that one should never address an invitation to “and guest” or “plus one.” The bride and groom should invite those people they are close to, paying attention to social units and finding out the names of everyone’s significant others. It’s not gauche to invite solo guests — far from it, in fact! A friendly, outgoing single can have a marvelous time at a wedding.

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