Two days ago the California Supreme Court ruled that people have a ‘fundamental right to marry’ and that gender restrictions violate the equal protection guarantee in the state constitution.

While the war for marriage equality has been going on for some time, this particular battle began in 2004 when Mayor Gavin Newsome announced that gay marriage would be legal in San Francisco, regardless of the law in the rest of the state. Gay and lesbian couples flocked to the city, got married, and were then told their marriages were invalid because of a law passed in 2000 declaring “only marriage between a man and a woman is valid and recognized in California.” After that law was passed by voters, California developed one of the strongest domestic partnership laws in the country…but that still isn’t the same as marriage.

When I heard the news of this ruling, what struck me was how the wording sounded familiar to me in content. I heard a distant echo of Brown vs Board of Education of Topeka which struck down racially segregated public schools in 1954. The argument then was that ‘separate but equal’ as a policy may always be separate, but was almost never equal.

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It’s a good thing I’m not in Sydney, Australia right now. I mean, seriously, what is it with the absolutely fantastic dresses that come out of that country? First there was Culture Shock, and now I find Gallery Serpentine via my fabulous friend Kristina.

Most brides don’t dream of walking down the aisle in jeweled green…what is that, PVC?…but I know there are at least a few of you out there.

I still cry a little inside when I think about all the amazing colored gowns I found AFTER I tied the knot. Oh, I looked at dresses in reds and greens and blues, but all of the ones I found looked chinzy or promish or too solidly 80s to be retro cool.

That said, aren’t these gowns GORGEOUS? My want-O-meter is in the red zone!

Huh, it looks like LOVE/HATE is turning into a regular Thursday feature. The question is whether I’ll be able to keep up with it, as details like that have a way of slipping my mind. I’ll do my best to remember, because if there was a “LOVE/HATE: The love/hate edition” I’d be in love, love, love. Seriously, reading your thoughts on the fashion at hand always makes my day.

But enough about you…let’s talk about pants. I’ve posted about pants a mere two times, but they’ve come up in the convo often. Just recently, one of y’all posted a link to a picture of an utterly fantastic pantsuit.

Unfortunately, I lost that link, so I’ll show you something else instead.

Whaddya think? Wow or bow wow? While Ashley Rowe of Miss Rowe did not intend for her designs to be worn as wedding wear, they certainly satisfy two important requirements. One, they’re pricey…the bustier alone costs $795. And two, the models have twisted themselves into unnatural positions and are scowling at the camera.

As to whether I like them, I’ll say this:

I like the idea. I like the look on ultra-skinny models. I like the fact that a forward thinking bride could list this among her day-of outfit options. I like the concept of a bustier with tails.

What I don’t like is what I see in my brain when I try to imagine myself in blazingly white skinny pants, and I’m not exactly what you’d call heavy. That said, I’m gonna guess that this isn’t exactly a realistic look for most people.

Tiny cakes continue to be a hot nuptial commodity based on the preponderance of cupcake stands and cupcake wrappers out there. As grand as traditional tiered cakes can be–and wow, are they ever fabulous when they’re done right–couples are still gravitating toward cake in personal portions.

I’ve seen cupcakes doled out during cake cuttings and cupcakes stacked as centerpieces all reception long, which meant that some guests were noshing on cake before dinner was even served! What role haven’t I seen cupcakes take on? Well, I’ve never seen cupcakes given away as a wedding favor. This is probably because cake is smushy-mushy and must be boxed well lest it be rendered inedible during travel.

So how do you render little cakes fit for transport? If you’re the lovely and talented Bakerella, you make them EVEN LITTLER! And, sometimes, but not always, you put them on sticks:

Bakerella’s tiny cupcake tutorial makes it look so easy, which usually means that the project at hand will be really difficult. Not this time, however. As long as you’re patient enough to wait for melted chocolate to dry (just eat some while you wait) and mold a bunch of cakeballs into cupcakes, you’ll do just fine. The best thing about these…besides the fact that they’re so dang simple to make…is that there is icing mixed right into the cake. Yum!

If you’re looking for a fun DIY favor, think about whether you fancy spending a bit of time in the kitchen baking, rolling, and icing one or more mini-mini cupcakes per guest. Should it happen that the answer is yes, go thank Bakerella for posting such a well written and easy-to-follow tutorial. I’ll be doing just that when I whip these up for my impending book release party!

EDIT — Here’s an alternate, even easier tutorial!

No one threw a bachelorette party for me. I know, wah wah wah. My bridal shower ended up being slightly weird because a goodly handful of my friends never received invitations. This was probably due in part to the fact that my MOH was 16 years old. All I know is that I dutifully gave up the names and contact info they asked me to provide and that’s where my responsibility ended.

I heard from numerous girlfriends in the days leading up to the affair, all of whom were sooo sorry they couldn’t attend but they’d only just heard about it and simply couldn’t travel out of state on such short notice. At the time I was too busy working three jobs and planning a wedding to lost much sleep over it, but it was a tad disappointing.

To make a long story even longer, a bachelorette party would have been nice, but the only person who suggested one was my soon-to-be ex-stepmother and her idea of a good bachelorette party is going out for a rowdy evening with the gals the night before the wedding. Get hitched with a hangover? No thanks!

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We’ve talked about weddingish regrets more than a few times here at MftB, and it truly is a bittersweet exercise. On one hand, it’s fun to keep looking at favors and frocks and flowers when one has no reason to buy them. On the other hand, it can make one question decisions already made…choices that can’t be taken back.

Now, when I start thinking “oh I wish I’d done/bought/used such-and-such a thing” I just plan a fabulous house party that incorporates all those products and ideas. Favors aren’t just for kiddie birthdays and weddings. Brides don’t have a monopoly on fresh blooms. And there’s no reason not to dress to the nines if you feel comfortable in a gown…the trick is learning to feel comfortable in a gown when everyone else is wearing slacks. Master that, and you’re golden!

The number one thing I wish I’d known about would have to be Bluefly. I didn’t start seriously thinking of this shop to end all shops as a source for reasonably priced, re-wearable bridesmaids’ garb until after I’d had a pickle of a time badgering my own ‘maids into picking something, anything, because we’re really getting down to the wire, here. Maybe telling them to go to Bluefly would have made everything easier for everyone…then again, probably not.

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Happy Mother’s Day, everyone, from Twistie and Never Teh Bride!

Speaking of mothers…

I have a couple questions about the role of the mother of the bride in modern weddings. I hope this will encourage a lively discussion.

What role did/do you expect your mother to play in your wedding planning? Is/was it her show? Yours with her input? None of her business?

What about mother of the bride outfits? Something you want(ed)? Something she want(ed)? Or something you both feel/felt is/was unimportant? Are/were the choices designed for the purpose too frumpy? Too sexy? Just right?

Any other thoughts on the subject?