There are wedding favors, reception centerpieces, bridal jewelry sets, and wedding shoes for sale on Amazon, so I thought I’d poke around in their gown selection. Searching for ‘wedding gown’ net me plenty of results, but it appears that Amazon’s commitment to carrying everything under the sun does not yet extend to nuptial garb.
I know there are some perfectly serviceable gowns on Amazon, but looking at those is no fun. Plus, there are way more wacky wedding dresses for sale than there are the sort that most right-minded women would consider buying. Here’s a sample set for your amusement:
Home shredders are so convenient, right? Just be sure it’s nowhere nearby when you’re trying on your wedding gown, lest you end up with something that looks like this. But, hey, it’s no worse than this, right?
A little sheer paneling is all right…say, just over the bust line or around the armular area. However, this particular dress defines the word “overkill.” And what, pray tell, is up with the cutout under the model’s bosoms? With all that see-through fabric, I don’t see much need for added ventilation.
The seller calls this one a “glamor dress,” but I call it a cross-dressing football player’s dream. There’s plenty of room for shoulder pads, because who wants to worry about a quarterback sack* on one’s wedding day?
I’m sitting her wondering who, exactly, thought that the one-strap-hanging look would be the hot new thing in bridal fashions because I’ve been seeing it A LOT. To me it looks like the wardrobe consultant for this shoot forgot to pin the model’s bra to the strap itself, resulting in a very minor G-rated wardrobe malfunction.
*Unless that’s what you’re into, of course!