LOVE/HATE: the funny florals edition

A blog called It’s a Wonderful World turned me onto bouquets weirder and wackier than any I came across when writing iDo. In the floral chapter of my book, I bring up cascade bouquets, arm sheaves, pomanders, hand tieds, crescents, composites, wristlets, trails, teardrops, tussie-mussies, ballerina bouquets, and floral scepters! I obviously know a little something about bouquets.

Thus I must surmise that I can’t possibly be the only one who was a little taken aback by the ring bouquet:

Does this concoction of water iris leaves and small spray roses make anyone else think of goatse.cx (extreeeeeeemely NSFW)? Because I know that I and my sillier guests would be taking some pseudonaughty snapshots if the bride ever left her bouquet unattended.


Now the “bouquet” on the left does look interesting…in addition to its looking arm-numbingly heavy. The shoulder arrangement on the right is woven into a scarf and looks a bit like my neighbors front yard when they’ve neglected to weed for month.

Orchid leaves, moss, and green tinted carnations come together to form…what, exactly? Xena has her Chakram, and Wonder Woman had her Lasso of Truth. Perhaps Superbride — coming soon to a comic shop near you — wields one of these for great justice!

Are these meant to be worn in the manner of a stole? Or carried in the manner of a blankie? Apparently, this kind of “bouquet” is meant to emphasize the waistline of the bride.

My verdict:I can’t must up enough love or hate to give a firm opinion. I think that all of these floral options are a bit silly, but I certainly wouldn’t discourage any bride from choosing one of them. After all, I think that brides who carry books, handbags, candles, or other non-blooms can look wonderful, so I don’t feel at all strange taking that in the other direction. Brides who want to carry a whole mat of blossoms might very well end up looking smashing!

What say you?

12 Responses to “LOVE/HATE: the funny florals edition”

  1. Abby says:

    I say blech, by and large. With most of those, you can’t even see the dress! Although I suppose if that huge green handled bouquet was a basket, you could stash your hanky, a flask for the nervous bride, and even the flower girl in there.

  2. Twistie says:

    I say that first one looks like a ring of cottage cheese sprouted something rather unpleasant.

    The bottom right one looks as though it could be spectacular if it weren’t being carried but was draped like a stole.

    The rest just leave me deeply confused…but slightly amused.

  3. blablover5 says:

    I’d be really scared of getting tripped up with most of those. What do you do, just sling it over your other shoulder if it gets too long?

  4. Cassie says:

    See, I think they’re all pretty enough – though not something I could see myself using. But my problem is the principle. I can understand wanting to do something “different” and “novel”. I can understand if a bride has problems with her hands and can’t hold a bouquet (though the only ones that would work in that case would be the stoles).

    But if you don’t want to carry a bouquet, then . . . don’t have flowers on your person. I’m sorry, I might be alone on this one, but if you want to shake tradition enough to eschew the traditional hand-held-buncha-flowers format, then maybe you need to think about whether you want to carry flowers at all. Like most wedding “tradition” it’s not a requirement. *shrug* Just my opinion, though.

  5. Kelly says:

    My FMIL owns her own bouquet business and I went with her to a demonstration once for new trends in the floral world. We saw a lot of these kinds of things. They are horrible. Sometimes it is best not to mess with tradition

  6. Wendy says:

    The fact that these “bouquets” are way over the top and attention grabbing doesn’t bug me so much, but atleast make them more aesthetically pleasing! The bottom right one might be okay, but it looks fake. I agree – if you are going to eschew the traditional bouquet, get rid of the flowers altogether (small, tasteful flowers woven into the hair are okay).

  7. I think at this point floral designers are just trying to think outside the box to give a bride a unique creation. These are definitely unique!

  8. Dent says:

    NtB, I can’t belieeeeve you mentioned goatse.cx! Please, post a warning for those of the weak fortitude and the curious. (Although I have to admit, now that you have mentioned it, I would probably be one of those taking pictures.)

    I can’t find myself liking any of those flower arrangements. They’re like high fashion. (Sometimes) pretty but mostly impractical, created in the name of fashion and art with the intent to inspire.

  9. daisyj says:

    To me, the first one says less “Just Married” than “Just Won the Derby.”

  10. La BellaDonna says:

    I rather like the flower boas, if they were worn as boas should be worn, but really, what’s wrong with a waterfall bouquet if you want something “different”?

    I was married in October, in a 17thCentury-style wedding. I carried a small bouquet of flowers in autumn colours against a sumptuous sheaf of gold ostrich plumes, which were destined for my 17thCentury cavalier hat after the wedding. My bridesmaids also carried small sprays of flowers against white ostrich plumes, which they in turn kept for hat-trimming after the wedding. It wasn’t as “different” as a giant floral Lifesaver made out of cauliflower, but it looked lovely, with the gold against my white dress, and the white against their blue dresses, and we all got to use the major part of our bouquets later!

  11. I’m all about going for something unique and creative to personalize your wedding day but these are just way too far out there for me! I do give props for the creativity that went into designing these though.. kudos to the floral designers for daring to be different!

  12. Val says:

    The only thing is the top one reminds me of the wreathes we do for funerals. Stick some carnations on there and after the wedding you’re set to bury the groomsmen who “decorated” the car hehehe!
    Maybe that was the idea? 😉