Five Signs That It’s Time to Fire Your Wedding Professional
Having been to a lot of weddings over the years, I’ve come to the conclusion that a great deal of stress can be added by choosing the wrong vendors, and a great deal of stress can be avoided by choosing the right vendors.
But sometimes it’s hard for us to know quite when to be ruthless about ending a relationship with a vendor who isn’t following through. Here are five signs that it’s time to cut the cord and find someone else to do the job you need and want done.
1: You dislike them so much you avoid working with them. If you don’t want to be in the same room with your florist, photographer, wedding planner, or caterer, don’t be. It doesn’t matter how popular, talented, or highly-recommended this person is if you can’t stand to be around him or her. You want to be surrounded by people who make you feel as relaxed and comfortable as possible on your wedding day.
2: You can’t get a contract out of the vendor. This is a professional relationship. Both sides are protected by contracts. A professional will want you to read and sign a clear contract.
3: Your vendor tries to sell you things you’ve already said you don’t want/can’t afford. Once you tell your wedding planner you don’t want alcohol, or informed your florist that you can’t fit imported orchids in your budget, that should be the end of the conversation. It is then up to the professional to come up with a plan that does work for you. The vendor works for the bride, not the other way around.
4: You can’t get in touch when you need to. If your vendor cancels multiple meetings or can’t ever seem to get back to you when you call, you’re not getting the attention you need. (s)he may simply be overbooked or having a personal crisis, but you’re paying for services rendered. If your professional can’t be there for you, then you need to find someone who can.
5: Your vendor doesn’t pay attention. You said last week that you wanted pink roses, but your florist forgot to write it down and is still trying to design around red ones. You brought in a swatch of the bridesmaids gown for your baker to match in frosting, but he’s lost it. Your wedding planner is asking questions that you answered two days ago. Run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. You’re paying these people to be more organized than you are. They’re adding stress where you need it removed. If you can’t count on them to remember that you’ve already discussed a throwing bouquet and whether you want more posed or candid shots, you may not feel you can count on them for anything.
It’s not easy to break up with a wedding vendor, but there are times when it’s the only way to stay sane. Remember, you’re not marrying your vendors. You have a business relationship with these people, and you need to expect professional behavior. You’re marrying that person waiting for you at the altar…and that ain’t your caterer.
What about a friend you have “hired” as a musician? We’re getting marred this Saturday, and our pianist (since he is a friend we are paying for his travel and lodging expenses instead of paying him) has yet to give us recordings of his work despite repeated requests from us. He’s not very good at returning phone messages or emails. Agh!
I guess it depends, Dent, on whether you’re willing to do without that piano music. If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of even looking for someone else or doing without, then you’re going to have to cross your fingers and hope that your pianist is more punctual than he is communicative. You could look around for a short-notice pianist you like and let your guy go — and very likely forfeiting the friendship — if you feel strongly that there is going to be a problem. You’re in a tough spot, but ask yourself if your friend (while not great at returning phone calls or e-mails) has ever bailed when it was truly important. That should help you make an informed decision.
I think NtB has it right…but if you can find a way to have a Plan B emergency backup, whether it’s another pianist waiting in the wings just in case or a CD you can play, I’d try to work that out.
In the meantime, I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Thanks for the advice ladies! He’s slowly been communicating back to us, and so we are just going to cross our fingers… and bring a back up CD just in case.
Thanks for this posting. I really enjoyed reading it.
As such an important part of putting together what is termed as ‘the most important day of your life’ it is indeed critical to get along with your wedding professional.
I guess really you do what you have to.