With the exception of a handful of rogue weddings, the nuptial celebrations I’ve attended as an adult have NOT included the tossing of the bouquet. At one of the aforementioned affairs, I didn’t get anywhere near the thing. I caught it at another — mainly because my aunt winged it right at my head. At yet another, I actually did catch it, but then I tossed it covertly to the woman standing next to me and she was more than happy to have it.
As I’ve gotten older, there have typically been less and less single ladies on the floor when the bride has decided to toss the bouquet. You get the teenage girls, the older widows, the “cougars,” and the small group of single, of-marriageable age women. Sometimes you can see the horror and mortification in these ladies’ eyes as their friends and relatives elbow them onto the parquet when the DJ announces the impending toss.
Of course, some women are into the whole game. Really into it. Some even want to nab that bunch of blooms so badly that they’re willing to commit bodily assault to get it! This how-to from Howcast is meant to be humorous (I hope) but I’ve known a chick or two who would treat this as deadly serious advice.
I’d advise taking an entirely different approach to the bouquet. Step 1: Before the wedding, ascertain whether your group of friends has any interest in the outdated tradition. If not, proceed to Step 2: Approach the bride-to-be to determine whether she’s thinking of tossing the bouquet. If she is, proceed to Step 3: Threaten to take her future husband hostage if she won’t agree to scrap the idea. If she procures another fiancée, proceed to Step 4: Strap yourself to your seat when the MC announces it’s tossing time.